YOU CAN"T. WHAT"S YOUR HANDLE?

Handle? Like CB? Never had one.

YOU NEED ONE DUDE. WITHOUT IT YOU"RE A JUST A REPORTER NERD.

Been called worse. How about Spook? That"s what I"m doing.

CAN"T. WE ALREADY GOT A SPOOK. CAN"T HAVE TWO. TRY AGAIN.

What do you mean we?

WE. MY GROUP. YOU"VE ALREADY HEARD OF 401 AND CHAOS AND THE LEGION OF DOOM. WELL, I AM PART OF ANOTHER GROUP. BUT I CAN"T TELL YOU WHAT IT"S CALLED. YOU"RE NOT PART OF THE INNER CIRCLE.

I KNOW WHAT I"LL CALL YOU. REPO MAN.

repo man

REPORTER MAN. SUSPICIOUS TOO.

I suspect that hackers are up to no good.

OK, SOME ARE, BUT THEY"RE THE EXCEPTION. HOW MANY Ma.s.s GOOD SAMARITANS OTHER THAN MOTHER TERESA DO YOU WRITE ABOUT? NONE.

ONLY IF THEY"RE KILLED IN ACTION. BUT, Ma.s.s MURDERERS ARE NEWS.

SO ALL YOU NEWS FIENDS MAKE HEADLINES ON DEATH AND DESTRUCTION.

THE MEDIA SELLS THE HYPE AND YOU CAN"T DENY IT.

Got me. You"re right, that"s what the public buys. But not all news is bad.

EXACTLY. SEE THE POINT?

At least we don"t do the crime, just report it. What about these viruses. I suppose hackers are innocent of that too.

BY AND LARGE YES. PEOPLE THAT WRITE VIRUSES AND INFECT COMPUTERS ARE THE COMPUTER EQUIVALENT TO SERIAL KILLERS. OR HOW ABOUT THE GUY WITH AIDS, WHO KNOWS HE"S GOT IT AND SCREWS AS MANY PEOPLE AS HE CAN TO SPREAD IT AROUND. VIRUSES ARE DANGEROUS AND DEMENT- ED. NO HACKER OF THE CODE WOULD DO THAT.

You keep mentioning this code. What is the code?

IT"S A CODE OF ETHICS THAT MOST OF US LIVE BY. AND IT"S CRUCIAL TO A STABLE UNDERGROUND CULTURE THAT SURVIVES BY ITS WITS. IT GOES LIKE THIS: NEVER INTENTIONALLY DAMAGE ANOTHER COMPUTER.

That"s it?

PRETTY SIMPLE HUH?

So, you said earlier that you poke around NASA computers. And NASA just had a pretty good glitch that rings of hackers. Some- one broke the code.

EXACTLY. BUT NO ONE"S TAKING CREDIT.

Why would they? Isn"t that a sure giveaway and a trip up the river?

YES AND NO. MORRIS FOR EXAMPLE ADMITTED HIS MISTAKE. HE SAID HE WAS WRITING A VIRUS FOR THE EXERCISE AND IT GOT OUT OF CONTROL.

OOPS, HE SAID, AND I"M INCLINED TO BELIEVE HIM BECAUSE HE DIDN"T COVER HIS TRACKS. IF HE WAS SERIOUS ABOUT SHUTTING DOWN INTERNET HE WOULDN"T HAVE BEEN FOUND AND HE WOULDN"T HAVE ADMITTED IT IF THEY EVER CAUGHT HIM. PROVING HE DID IT IS NEXT TO IMPOSSIBLE.

So?

SO, HACKERS HAVE STRONG EGOS. THEY LIKE TO GET CREDIT FOR FIND- ING THE KEYS TO COMPUTERS. IT BUILDS THEM A REPUTATION THAT THEY FEED ON. VIRUS BUILDERS ARE THE SAME. IF SOMEONE BUILDS A VIRUS AND THEN FEEDS IT INTO THE SYSTEM, HE WANTS TO GET CREDIT FOR IT.

SO HE TAKES CREDIT.

And then gets caught, right?

WRONGO AGAIN, LET"S SAY I TOLD YOU THAT IT WAS ME THAT DID THAT STUFF AT NASA.

So it was you?

NO NO. I SAID, IF IT WAS ME, WHAT WOULD YOU DO ABOUT IT?

Uh . . .

WHAT?

I"m thinking.

WHO WOULD YOU TELL?

The police, NASA,

WHAT WOULD YOU TELL THEM?

That you did it.

WHO AM I?

Good point. Who are you?

I DIDN"T DO IT AND I"M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU WHO I AM. YOU SEE, MOST OF US DON"T KNOW EACH OTHER THAN OVER THE COMPUTER. IT JUST DON"T MATTER WHO I AM.

I don"t know if I buy everything you say, but it is something to think about. So what about the NASA thing.

I DON"T KNOW. n.o.bODY DOES.

You mean, I gather, n.o.body has owned up to it.

EXACTLY

How can I describe you? If I wanted to use you in an article.

STUDENT AT A MAJOR UNIVERSITY.

Sounds like a Letter to Penthouse Forum.

TRY THE s.e.x BBS.