That Sweet Little Old Lady

Chapter 18

"This," Malone announced to no one in particular, "is ridiculous."

Boyd swept the car around a curve and concentrated grimly on the road.

After a second the Queen said: "Since you"re still thinking about the question, I"ll answer you."

"What question?" Malone said, thoroughly baffled.

"Sir Thomas asked me if I could foretell the future," the Queen said equably. "Of course I can"t. That"s silly. Just because I"m immortal and I"m a telepath, don"t go hog-wild."

"Then how did you know the FBI agents were going to find the girl in Honolulu tomorrow?" Boyd said.

"Because," the Queen said, "they"re thinking about looking in the hospital tomorrow, and when they look they"ll certainly find her."

Boyd said: "Oh," and was silent.

But Malone had a grim question. "Why didn"t you tell me about these other telepaths before?" he said. "You could have saved us a lot of work."

"Oh, heavens to Betsy, Sir Kenneth," Her Majesty exclaimed. "How could I? After all, the proper precautions had to be taken first, didn"t they?

I told you all the others were crazy--_really_ crazy, I mean. And they just wouldn"t be safe without the proper precautions."

"Perhaps you ought to go back to the hospital, too," Barbara said, and added: "Your Majesty," just in time.

"But if I did, dear," Her Majesty said, "you"d lose your chance to become a d.u.c.h.ess, and that wouldn"t be at all nice. Besides, I"m having so much _fun_!" She trilled a laugh again. "Riding around like this is just wonderful!" she said.

_And you"re important for national security_, Malone said to himself.

"That"s right, Sir Kenneth," the Queen said. "The country needs me, and I"m happy to serve. That is the job of a sovereign."

"Fine," Malone said, hoping it was.

"Well, then," said Her Majesty, "that settles that. We have a whole night ahead of us, Sir Kenneth. What do you say we make a night _of_ it?"

"Knight who?" Malone said. He felt confused again. It seemed as if he was always feeling confused lately.

"Don"t be silly, Sir Kenneth," Her Majesty said. "There are times and times."

"Sure," Malone said at random. _And time and a half_, he thought.

_Possibly for overtime._ "What is Your Majesty thinking of?" he asked with trepidation.

"I want to take a tour of Las Vegas," Her Majesty said primly.

Lady Barbara shook her head. "I"m afraid that"s not possible, Your Majesty," she said.

"And why not, pray?" Her Majesty said. "No. I can see what you"re thinking. It"s not safe to let me go wandering around in a strange city, and particularly if that city is Las Vegas. Well, dear, I can a.s.sure you that it"s perfectly safe."

"We"ve got work to do," Boyd contributed.

Malone said nothing. He stared bleakly at the hood ornament on the car.

"I have made my wishes known," the Queen said.

Lady Barbara said: "But--"

Boyd, however, knew when to give in. "Yes, Your Majesty," he said.

She smiled graciously at him, and answered Lady Barbara only by a slight lift of her regal eyebrow.

Malone had been thinking about something else. When he was sure he had a firm grip on himself he turned. "Your Majesty, tell me something," he said. "You can read my mind, right?"

"Well, of course, Sir Kenneth," Her Majesty said. "I thought I"d proved that to you. And, as for what you"re about to ask--"

"No," Malone said. "Please. Let me ask the questions before you answer them. It"s less confusing that way. I"ll cheerfully admit that it shouldn"t be--but it is. Please?"

"Certainly, Sir Kenneth, if you wish," the Queen said. She folded her hands in her lap and waited quietly.

"O.K.," Malone said. "Now, if you can read my mind, then you must know that I don"t _really_ believe that you are Queen Elizabeth of England.

The First, I mean."

"Mr. Malone," Barbara Wilson said suddenly. "I--"

"It"s all right, child," the Queen said. "He doesn"t disturb me. And I do wish you"d call him Sir Kenneth. That"s his t.i.tle, you know."

"Now that"s what I mean," Malone said. "Why do you want us to _act_ as if we believe you, when you know we don"t?"

"Because that"s the way people do act," the Queen said calmly. "Very few people really believe that their so-called superiors _are_ superior.

Almost none of them do, in fact."

"Now wait a minute," Boyd began.

"No, no, it"s quite true," the Queen said, "and, unpleasant as it may be, we must learn to face the truth. That"s the path of sanity." Lady Barbara made a strangled noise but Her Majesty continued, unruffled.

"Nearly everybody suffers from the silly delusion that he"s possibly equal to, but very probably superior to, everybody else ... my goodness, where would we be if that were true?"

Malone felt that a comment was called for, and he made one. "Who knows?"

he said.

"All the things people do toward their superiors," the Queen said, "are done for social reasons. For instance, Sir Kenneth: you don"t realize fully how you feel about Mr. Burris."

"He"s a nice guy," Malone said. "I work for him. He"s a good Director of the FBI."

"Of course," the Queen said. "But you believe you could do the job just as well, or perhaps a little better."

"I do not," Malone said angrily.

Her Majesty reserved a dignified silence.