The American Credo

Chapter 10

--157

That, in summer, tan shoes are much cooler on the feet than black shoes.

--158

That every man who calls himself Redmond is a Jew whose real name is Rosenberg.

--159

That General Grant never directed a battle save with a cigar in his mouth.

--160

That there is something slightly peculiar about a man who wears spats.

--161

That the more modest a young girl is, the more innocent she is.

--162

That what a woman admires above everything else in a man is an upright character.

--163

That seafaring men drink nothing but rum.

--164

That no family in the slums has less than six children.

--165

That a piece of camphor worn on a string around the neck will ward off disease.

--166

That a saloon with a sign reading "Family Entrance" on its side door invariably has a bawdy house upstairs.

--167

That the wife of a rich man always wistfully looks back into the past and wishes she had married a poor man.

--168

That all persons prominent in smart society are very dull.

--169

That when ordering a drink of whiskey at a bar, a man always used to instruct the bartender as to the size of the drink he desired by saying "two fingers" or "three fingers."

--170

That all the wine formerly served in Italian restaurants was made in the cellar, and was artificially coloured with some sort of dye that was very harmful to the stomach.

--171

That bootblacks whistle because they are so happy.

--172

That stokers on ocean liners are from long service so used to the heat of the furnaces that they don"t notice it.

--173

That what draws men to horse races is love of the sport.

--174

That tarantulas often come from the tropics in bunches of bananas, and that when one of them stings a negro on the wharf he swells up, turns green and dies within three hours.

--175

That a man will do anything for the woman he loves.

--176

That the reason William Gillette, who has been acting for over forty years, always smokes cigars in the parts he plays is because he is very nervous when on the stage.