Glued myself together and picked up Jon and Catherine Guinness on the corner of 63rd and Park. She looked like a floozy. She"s still the worst dresser. These English girls don"t know how to dress. She had on a red floozy skirt and backless shoes and her new blonde hair and these costume jewelry earrings with diamonds that her mother gave her. She was sweet, talked and bubbled for hours. Let"s see, the gossip, she said Fred was seduced by the most beautiful girl, Natasha Grenfell-Zeffirelli is her G.o.dfather, and Tennessee Williams is, too. We had a nice time at Xenon (cab $4) seeing John McEnroe at a tennis charity thing.

Wednesday, July 15, 1981 I tried to work out the Newport thing that Bob got me involved in with the Pells next weekend, it"s an anti-suicide thing, and I told Bob how could he do that, since he knew I was for suicide, and he got crazy and didn"t know what to say. He said I"d better not open my mouth. And I guess I better not kill myself, either.

I"d gotten Mary Richardson an appointment to see Halston about a job because she"d asked me to, but then she said she"d had lunch with Bill Bla.s.s in the meantime and he was going to pay her $500 an hour to model, and so she was thrilled about that and wasn"t even going to see Halston. After I"d gone to all the trouble of getting her the appointment. Mary decided to give a small dinner at Fred"s which turned out to be a big dinner and she invited me and Fred got mad because he said he"d have to fix the house up so I wouldn"t be upset when I saw it-he"s got all these English kids staying there, it"s like a rooming house.

At Fred"s, Steve Aronson was there with Sh.e.l.ley w.a.n.ger and her new boyfriend David Mortimer, who"s so good-looking. Then Steve-oh G.o.d, he knows everything and he remembers just what you don"t want him to. He looked at Jon and said to me, "What did you say his name was? What"s that name? Isn"t he he the one you told me thought that the one you told me thought that Popistn Popistn was badly edited?" And I said, "Ohhh, was badly edited?" And I said, "Ohhh, please please, Steve, not now." And the thing I can"t understand is why I would have told Steve that and even said Jon"s name to him. That"s fascinating. Why would I do that? Why would I beg for trouble?

And when Steve heard that Fran was going to be on the cover of Interview Interview he said that he wanted to be on the cover, too, when his book he said that he wanted to be on the cover, too, when his book Hype Hype came out. So then he was going on about how he had checked into Jon-into exactly what his job was at Paramount-and how he was a "vice-president in charge of inter-office memos" and finally I told him that if he didn"t shut up I wouldn"t put him on the cover. So then he said he just interviewed Roy Cohn and that he was going to ask him, "Aren"t you a big f.a.g?" but then he ended up liking him and he didn"t, so he still had the leftover question and he asked me if came out. So then he was going on about how he had checked into Jon-into exactly what his job was at Paramount-and how he was a "vice-president in charge of inter-office memos" and finally I told him that if he didn"t shut up I wouldn"t put him on the cover. So then he said he just interviewed Roy Cohn and that he was going to ask him, "Aren"t you a big f.a.g?" but then he ended up liking him and he didn"t, so he still had the leftover question and he asked me if I"d I"dlike to admit that I was.

Thursday, July 16, 1981 At the party after the screening of Endless Love Endless Love I talked to Don Murray and I said that I"d just read in the paper that Liza was thinking of doing a remake of I talked to Don Murray and I said that I"d just read in the paper that Liza was thinking of doing a remake of Bus Stop Bus Stop and I said that if she at her age could play the girl, then he could still play the virgin cowboy, and that he should go find her and tell her. And he laughed. He"s still so good-looking and tall. and I said that if she at her age could play the girl, then he could still play the virgin cowboy, and that he should go find her and tell her. And he laughed. He"s still so good-looking and tall.

Monday, July 20, 1981 Got up. On the news was the tragedy of the weekend, the hotel walkway that collapsed in Kansas City and a lot of people were killed. Oh and I"m reading in the Enquirer Enquirer about Kate Jackson and Andrew Stevens. Kate was out with us at Halston"s in Montauk this past weekend. She was with Rock Brynner, Yul"s son. Kate will do things like look at the ocean and say how beautiful it is, or go out alone and stare at the moon or walk along the beach alone and pick up a rock and throw it. about Kate Jackson and Andrew Stevens. Kate was out with us at Halston"s in Montauk this past weekend. She was with Rock Brynner, Yul"s son. Kate will do things like look at the ocean and say how beautiful it is, or go out alone and stare at the moon or walk along the beach alone and pick up a rock and throw it. (laughs) (laughs) I"m serious! That kind of corny thing. I don"t know. She"s from the South, but still.... I"m serious! That kind of corny thing. I don"t know. She"s from the South, but still....

I stopped at John Reinhold"s office to hear the news about the new diamond discovery in Australia, and diamond prices are down. Went to the office (cab $5).

I was really upset at Rupert because he"s gone away for weeks to Jamaica, and now half of his a.s.sistants are going on vacation, too, and I got really mad at one of them, Horst, because I was telling him that Rupert better watch out, and if they couldn"t help me that I was going to find myself another silkscreener. And Horst was laughing at me like a German-he said, "I should have brought you a rose, so you would be in a better mood." And I said, "Look, don"t tell me about roses roses-Rupert got the job in the first place because Alex Heinrici went on a vacation-a long long vacation just like this one that Rupert"s taking-and I just looked around and found somebody else. And I can do it again." vacation just like this one that Rupert"s taking-and I just looked around and found somebody else. And I can do it again."

And I blew my cool all day-I hung up on a few people, but it"ll be good for their memoirs.

Tuesday, July 21, 1981 Got a call from Jon cancelling out on our Newport trip.

Wednesday, July 22, 1981 Got up early, it was a pretty day. I was going to go walking with Interviews Interviews but I had a lunch date with Mercedes Kellogg and she brought the von Bulow guy, the one who"s accused of trying to kill his wife with insulin, she"s been in a coma for months. Ala von Auersperg is her daughter from her first husband and she and her brother are accusing him. He"s about fifty-five, I think. He told anecdotes. but I had a lunch date with Mercedes Kellogg and she brought the von Bulow guy, the one who"s accused of trying to kill his wife with insulin, she"s been in a coma for months. Ala von Auersperg is her daughter from her first husband and she and her brother are accusing him. He"s about fifty-five, I think. He told anecdotes.

At 4:00 the Walt Disney film crew came and shot me in front of my Shoes and my Walt Disney drawings. They asked me who my favorite Disney character was and I said, "Minnie Mouse, because she can get me close to Mickey."

Friday, July 24, 1981 Jon came by and showed me his new car and we went for a ride. Still nothing"s happening and I"m getting to think that I"ll just relax and not expect anything, that it"s enough to spend time together. I don"t know.

Monday, July 27, 1981 Ran into Winnie Sullivan on the street. I thought she looked a little fat. I asked her how she was doing, did she really miss Tom a lot and she said, "He died but I"m pregnant." I asked her if it was Tom"s baby, and she said, "I"ve been seeing a lot of Jack Nicholson." She"s very calculating, Winnie. But who knows, maybe it is is Jack"s and he"ll marry her. She"s very pretty. Jack"s and he"ll marry her. She"s very pretty.

Sat.u.r.day, August 1, 1981 I"m up to five sets of fifteen pushups. And I told the office that they better not be planning anything for my birthday next week, that if they did I wasn"t even going to come down.

Sunday, August 2, 1981 Jon jogged over from the West Side. Chris Makos picked us up at 3:30 and we went to the Whitney to see the Walt Disney show (admission $8). It was really crowded and it was funny to see Walt Disney stuff on the walls. They didn"t show it off too well, though. Mostly Mickey Mouse.

Then we saw the Georgia O"Keeffe show on another floor and she does these flowers and slashes and all she does is paint v.a.g.i.n.as. And we saw some other people"s stuff and you can tell the girls" stuff always because it"s simple things, it"s the easy stuff. You can tell.

Then we took a ride and we wanted to go to the River Cafe but they were done serving, so we stopped someplace outdoors in the Village and the food was awful ($70). But we watched everybody, people with great chests, just back from Fire Island and people cruising in gym shorts with their b.a.l.l.s hanging out on purpose-horrible-looking people.

Then we cabbed to the trendy West Side just to be seen-Columbus Avenue-it was eighteen deep, people walking. It"s like the 1930s with people trying to be discovered, doing their acts on the street.

Monday, August 3, 1981 Walked down Fifth Avenue and when I walked into a record store they had on "Heroin" from the Velvet Underground"s first alb.u.m, the one I produced and did the cover for. I don"t know if they saw me coming and then put it on quickly or if it was already on. It was so strange to hear Lou singing those songs and the music still sounds so good. It brought me back. Then they asked me to sign the alb.u.m. It"s still the original cover with the banana that you can peel the skin off. Does MGM keep reissuing it? I never got any money at all from that record.

Tuesday, August 4, 1981 The Herreras were back from the royal wedding and they invited me to dinner with Jerry Zipkin and said they"d call at 6:00. I said I"d go but I knew I"d cancel because I"m so tired of elegant people, I just wanted to be with some kids.

Then I ran out of Interviews Interviews and I was near John Reinhold"s so I stopped in and we went into the McCreedy and Schreiber shoe store on 46th and just sat there for an hour because it was air-conditioned. I decided that being a shoe salesman is really a s.e.xy job, sort of, even for a guy doing girl"s shoes. Stopped in at Jean"s and looked at a watch. and I was near John Reinhold"s so I stopped in and we went into the McCreedy and Schreiber shoe store on 46th and just sat there for an hour because it was air-conditioned. I decided that being a shoe salesman is really a s.e.xy job, sort of, even for a guy doing girl"s shoes. Stopped in at Jean"s and looked at a watch.

Jon has gone off to California.

Wednesday, August 5, 1981 The Trumps came down. Donald Trump and his wife and two ladies who work for him, I guess. Mrs. Trump is six months pregnant. I showed them the paintings of the Trump Tower that I"d done. I don"t know why I did so many, I did eight. In black and grey and silver which I thought would be so chic for the lobby. But it was a mistake to do so many, I think it confused them. Mr. Trump was very upset that it wasn"t color-coordinated. They have Angelo Donghia doing the decorating so they"re going to come down with swatches of material so I can do the paintings to match the pinks and oranges. I think Trump"s sort of cheap, though, I get that feeling. And Marc Balet who set up the whole thing was sort of shocked. But maybe Mrs. Trump will think about a portrait because I let them see the portraits of Lynn Wyatt behind the building paintings, so maybe they"ll get the idea.

Jon called from Hollywood.

Thursday, August 6, 1981 It was my birthday and I"d told everyone at the office that if they even mentioned it they"d be fired. Brigid had wanted the day off but I was Mr. Grump. I let everyone off five minutes early. And the funniest thing was that in the morning Brigid went to the delicatessen and over the radio the DJ said, "And happy birthday to Andy Warhol who"s sixty-four years old today," so she was laughing that they"d even added eleven years on.

John Reinhold sent me 500 carats of diamond dust for a present. It"s like half a can of tomato soup-size. And he sent me twenty-seven roses. Diamond dust can kill you. It"s a good way to murder somebody.

Got a call from Hollywood. Jon didn"t remember my birthday which was great.

Sat.u.r.day, August 8, 1981 Jane Holzer called and said that I should come over to 4 East 66th Street where a kid who goes to Columbia Film School and a group of his friends were filming an underground movie with expensive 3 5mm equipment. I went over and got depressed because here it was twenty years after my underground movies and here were young, pretty, rich kids-even richer and in bigger apartments than the kids who"d been in my movies. And we could hear them saying that they didn"t want the old people in front. I got sort of depressed and left.

Monday, August 10, 1981 I had to photograph the Halston and Galanos things for The Los Angeles Times The Los Angeles Times. Jon picked me up and we went to Halston"s. Halston had his limo waiting but Liza was late. He was on the phone with Liz Taylor and she called him an a.s.shole so he called her an a.s.shole and he said that her a.s.shole was bigger than his and that I should take pictures to prove it. It was funny hearing them talk like this, that"s how they talk to each other.

Went to the Olympic Tower to the party. Hope Lange was there with John Springer. And Christopher had just told me that on Live at Five Live at Five that afternoon Hope Lange was on with Jack Cafferty and she said, "Wasn"t it Andy Warhol who once said that everyone would be a celebrity for four minutes?" And so John Springer brought that up and said that it was actually ten minutes, and then Hope laughed and said that TV was making life go by faster anyway. She was kind of great. Sort of matronly-looking now. that afternoon Hope Lange was on with Jack Cafferty and she said, "Wasn"t it Andy Warhol who once said that everyone would be a celebrity for four minutes?" And so John Springer brought that up and said that it was actually ten minutes, and then Hope laughed and said that TV was making life go by faster anyway. She was kind of great. Sort of matronly-looking now.

Lauren Bacall and Harry Guardino were there. Marty Scorsese was there with his wife Isabella Rossellini who"s modeling now. I wonder what Julia"s doing. How can a Catholic keep getting married? Bobby De Niro came in and I sent Pat Cleveland over because I know he likes black girls, but she was drunk and scared him away. At 2:30 I left. I"d had champagne and now I have a champagne headache, I really hate to drink.

Tuesday, August 11, 1981 Got my live-in contacts but I can"t read or draw in them. Do they have bifocals you can wear with contacts? It"s so scary to wake up in the middle of the night and be able to see.

Walked partway to the office (cab $3.50). I painted some backgrounds for the Diana Ross portrait-I wonder what color I should make her-I wonder if she wants to be black or white.

Then I went up to the Con Ed building that"s for sale on Madison, and it turns out there"s three entrances-one on Madison, one on 32nd, and one on 33rd. It makes a T shape in the middle of the block. There was a b.u.m with no shoes sweeping up the sidewalk. They all hang around there, I guess because n.o.body chases them away. We couldn"t get the doors open, though, so we went to 22nd Street and Sixth Avenue to look at another building. That one is $1.9. Then we went back to the office. In the awful heat.

Wednesday, August 12, 1981 I can"t face Donahue Donahue. It"s (laughs) (laughs) Retired Gays this morning. Gay old people at a summer camp. Retired Gays this morning. Gay old people at a summer camp.

I"m 115 pounds now, I can feel my nerves grating against my bones.

I went to a Chinese opera at Lincoln Center and Stella Adler gave a speech. She"s in her eighties but she looks young like Angela Lansbury. And she had the Chinese director"s name written on her hand and every time she said the guy"s name, she had to look at her hand.

Thursday, August 13, 1981 Maura Moynihan was supposed to be getting me tickets to the opening of her play, but somehow she got out of inviting me. She said her father was going to be there and I think she was afraid of me being there with her father.

I waited for Rupert to come in with the positives. I saw that in my photographs that came back from the printer there were some personal pictures of Rupert"s vacation in Jamaica. I guess he sends his own pictures in to be developed with mine, but I"m not going to give them to him, they"re pictures of him carrying on.

Jon went to the country for the whole weekend.

Sat.u.r.day, August 15, 1981 I"d gained weight and gone up to 119, but I like the way I look better at 115 so I decided not to eat. Worked all afternoon on Greta Garbo and Mickey Mouse and Diana Ross (Brownies $15).

Sunday, August 16, 1981 I walked to church. Cabbed down to meet Rupert at 1:00 ($5). I called Fred in East Hampton and told him what a bad deal he"d made with Ron Feldman, that I was with Leo Castelli and that I wasn"t supposed to be having a show with Ron Feldman in the first place and that having such a big big show of mine would make his gallery famous, and that the pictures were too big and too awful. Ron has me down for a show on September 18th or something. I did backgrounds for Superman and Dracula. I have to do at least four a day to catch up. show of mine would make his gallery famous, and that the pictures were too big and too awful. Ron has me down for a show on September 18th or something. I did backgrounds for Superman and Dracula. I have to do at least four a day to catch up.

At midnight I got a call from Jon, he said he"d done some work on the script and so I went over to pick it up (cab $3). I was back home at 1:05.

Monday, August 17, 1981 At 11:30 I had an appointment to see the Con Ed building on 32nd and Madison. It"s a beautiful building, but buying it would be like buying a beautiful piece of art, this beautiful s.p.a.ce. And it has a main big T-shaped room that could be a great Interview Interview office, but you can"t rent anything out. It goes up five floors and there"s no heat, it"s just like one sh.e.l.l, but it"s so perfectly beautiful. I could put in hot air and toilets and it would be an artist"s s.p.a.ce. But then I think about the building at 895 Broadway at 20th Street and it"s just a normal substantial building, and it has five floors, all rented, and then I"d have rent coming in, and we could get one of the floors to move out for us. But this Con Ed one was like a fortress and the best thing was eight pay phones in the corner newsstand where you could office, but you can"t rent anything out. It goes up five floors and there"s no heat, it"s just like one sh.e.l.l, but it"s so perfectly beautiful. I could put in hot air and toilets and it would be an artist"s s.p.a.ce. But then I think about the building at 895 Broadway at 20th Street and it"s just a normal substantial building, and it has five floors, all rented, and then I"d have rent coming in, and we could get one of the floors to move out for us. But this Con Ed one was like a fortress and the best thing was eight pay phones in the corner newsstand where you could (laughs) (laughs) send people to make their calls. send people to make their calls.

Susan Blond called to invite me backstage to see Michael Jackson on Tuesday and Wednesday and she wants me to get Liza Minnelli, but I haven"t been able to. I"ll try again, though.

Bed at 12:30. Fell asleep, then woke up and had watermelon, then went back to sleep.

Tuesday, August 18, 1981 It was a really beautiful day, the weather"s still good because of the fairy hurricane. Dennis.

Picked up Jon, went to the St. Moritz to Allan Carr"s penthouse. He was having a party for the two stars of Gallipoli Gallipoli, Mark Lee and Mel Gibson, and then a screening of the movie afterwards.

Cabbed to Madison Square Garden ($5). Susan got us backstage and she was screaming that Katharine Hepburn was backstage and that if I didn"t hurry I wouldn"t have my picture taken with her, but I missed it all. Michael Jackson introduced us to his brothers, they all said they wanted portraits. Michael"s gotten so handsome since I saw him that time with Stephanie Mills.

We went out to the audience and it was hard to get our seats. We had to kick kids out of them. Michael"s show was maybe the best I"ve seen. He"s such a good dancer, and he goes into a hole and comes out the other side in a different outfit, I don"t know how he does it.

I was dropping Jon off and as we pa.s.sed Columbus Circle I saw Mark and Mel, the two stars of Gallipoli Gallipoli, alone, just sort of wandering, and it was sad. Their party was over and they looked lost, like they didn"t have anywhere else to go.

Thursday, August 20, 1981 I worked on the Wicked Witch and on Howdy Doody, and Rupert brought Mickey and the Garbo and they look great, but I can just see the reviews, I know they"re going to say, "How can it be twenty years later and he"s doing this stuff again?" again?" And we had to work on Ron Feldman to give us money, and finally he said that when the paintings were finished, he would, and I really can"t stand doing this show at Ron Feldman"s, it"s just publicity for his gallery and he should be paying a And we had to work on Ron Feldman to give us money, and finally he said that when the paintings were finished, he would, and I really can"t stand doing this show at Ron Feldman"s, it"s just publicity for his gallery and he should be paying a lot more lot more.

Marlon Jackson came down and he brought T-shirts and was so cute. He was supposed to be coming to get a portrait, but he didn"t know how to bring it up and I didn"t know either. We really want to get Michael on the cover of Interview Interview. Marlon looks like fifteen but then he said he has a wife and three kids and she"s expecting another.

Monday, August 24, 1981 Debbie Harry"s Newsweek Newsweek article came out and it was strange because the article mentioned me about eight times, quoting from the article came out and it was strange because the article mentioned me about eight times, quoting from the Philosophy Philosophy book and saying that she worked at Max"s. And you know, Debbie isn"t really interesting to talk to, but her interviews always come out right. It"s like they did with me, they pick up the right one-liners, and the words sound good in print. Debbie and Chris just bought a house on 72nd between Second and Third, so they"re rolling in bucks. book and saying that she worked at Max"s. And you know, Debbie isn"t really interesting to talk to, but her interviews always come out right. It"s like they did with me, they pick up the right one-liners, and the words sound good in print. Debbie and Chris just bought a house on 72nd between Second and Third, so they"re rolling in bucks.

Got two Gentleman"s Quarterlys Gentleman"s Quarterlys ($5) because my picture was in it as a model in the Barneys ad and I liked it a lot, it was exciting to see. ($5) because my picture was in it as a model in the Barneys ad and I liked it a lot, it was exciting to see.

Jay"s great because he finally knows how to paint like I do so he helps me out of some tight spots. Ronnie always does it so crude. I talked to Jon who I think was avoiding me. I think he wanted to do something else in the night and he didn"t want to work on the scripts, but he said I could pick one of them up later on.

Brigid"s working on the Maura tapes and she thinks they"re interesting, but I read them and I don"t. I think those kids take a lot of hallucinating drugs-things like acid and magic mushrooms.

Wednesday, August 26, 1981 I"m just so undecided between those two buildings, the one on Madison and 33rd and the 895 Broadway one. Because the one on Madison is so great and big and artistic, and it might be a goldmine, across from the Empire State Building, but then it"d cost so much to fix it up and how would you do it? But they do have a 12 percent mortgage we could get which would make it good. But then this 895 one is practical, it"s $1.8 as opposed to the Madison one which is $2, but you"d have floors renting and the income coming in. I don"t know. And Fred"s in the same dilemma.

Thursday, August 27, 1981 There was a lunch for Sharon Hammond who"s now the Countess Sondes. Lady Sharon said she has a Nautilus in her house and that we could use it. It"s $20 an hour because a lady comes who shows you how to do it.

We decided to get the building at Madison and 32nd. So that put me in a nervous state. I have to sign a letter and write a check and see what happens.

Bob got Jon and me invited to Iris Love"s birthday party at Barbetta"s (cab $3). It was in the garden. I ran into Pauline Trigere and she said she still hadn"t made a dress for me. Iris was wearing a toga with a towel around her head and Liz Smith was in a cowboy suit. Senator Ribicoff gave a speech. Diana Vreeland was there with Fred and she said I looked like a fourteen-year-old and she was thrilled about my modeling career. I met Iris"s sister who has blonde hair now, she had a crush on me twenty years ago, and now she"s divorced twice.

It started to rain and they kicked us out of the garden. Then it stopped and they kicked us back in.

And I was rude to Henry Geldzahler. He was there trying to get me to introduce him to someone, and I ignored him, I don"t know why-well, yes I do, because Henry"s hurt me so many times that way, I just felt felt like it. like it.

Friday, August 28, 1981 I called Jon fat but I didn"t really mean it.

Paramount was having a screening of Mommie Dearest Mommie Dearest (cab $6). Ara was there with Russell Todd. So we saw the movie and it was absolutely great. Faye was really good. Really. Oh this movie affected me so much. Movies are really affecting me lately. What"s happening to me? (cab $6). Ara was there with Russell Todd. So we saw the movie and it was absolutely great. Faye was really good. Really. Oh this movie affected me so much. Movies are really affecting me lately. What"s happening to me?

And you do root for Joan. Like when Louis B. Mayer just dumps her, tells her she"s too old and to leave quietly. And then when Pepsi dumps her. Oh gee, it was great. I think I identified with Joan, is what it is. Okay, so then there was a light supper.

Then it was early so Jon and I walked up trendy Columbus Avenue and somebody yelled "Gay boy" at me and that was funny. Then went home, watched TV and took a sleeping pill and woke up at 9:00 feeling so depressed and miserable. Oh G.o.d, I feel like I did when I first came to New York. I"m going through the same things, being afraid to live alone and ... oh, what should I do? I"m down to 115 pounds, but that"s not the problem, it really isn"t. I look better better thin. I guess I should try not to think so much about looks but I"m thin. I guess I should try not to think so much about looks but I"m not not thinking too much about looks. I never do. I thinking too much about looks. I never do. I don"t don"t. I like ugly people. I do do. And anyway, ugly people are just as hard to get as pretty people-they don"t want you, either.

Sunday, August 30, 1981-New York-Colorado We called Jack Nicholson the minute we arrived at John and Kimiko"s house and he said that he"d meet us the next day. And it was just like talking in a movie, talking to Jack on the phone. It was so exciting. G.o.d, it was exciting.

Then John Denver was coming over for dinner and we"d read all the gossip papers-The Globe, The Star, The Enquirer, five of them-and we"d read everything about John Denver going back to his wife and all of a sudden the doorbell rang and there they were and we said we knew all about them, that they didn"t have to talk. And they thought it was funny. And they were adorable. I got drunk on champagne and later Fred accused me of name-dropping every second. John Denver said he was going to take me up on his private little airplane, he said he would fly us the next day to where we were going-Fort Collins. He said that he knew all about me and that people always tell him he looks like me.

Monday, August 31, 1981, Colorado We called up Jack and he said he"d meet us in Aspen so we drove all the way to Aspen and it was just so beautiful and a toy town.

We went to this restaurant where Jack met us with Lou Adler, and Jack was just adorable. G.o.d, he just was adorable. The waitresses were adorable, everybody was adorable. Bob complained later that Christopher was so pushy, but I told him it"s good to be pushy because it"s the only way to get a good picture, and not to worry about it.

I told Jack I loved Body Heat Body Heat. Because he"s out here in the sticks and so he doesn"t see anything. I said it was a real hot movie. He kept asking about the girl, Kathleen Turner, and I said that she"d never be remembered. He said she was no Jessica Lange, which she really isn"t. Then we said goodbye to him and went back to the car.

We drove to the airport to John Denver"s plane but the weather was bad. Then all of a sudden John Denver"s father appeared. So we got in this Lear jet and his father flew it and we went up and down and up and down and we arrived in Fort Collins and were met by all these kids and were taken to the motel.

We bought a lot of Rolling Stones Rolling Stones with Jim Morrison on the cover. He"s literally selling more records dead than alive. with Jim Morrison on the cover. He"s literally selling more records dead than alive.

Had dinner with the president of Colorado State University whose name is Chris Christoffersen, spelled with Cs. After dinner he took us to the museum so we could see the show before anybody else did. In front of the museum they have three cans that are about thirty feet high and they look like big sculptures by Oldenburg, big handpainted Campbell"s Tomato Soup Cans. One of the kids did them, I guess. And every room here at the motel is cans with flowers in them, and I mean, I"m so tired of the Campbell"s Soup Can I could throw up. But the show"s cute, it"s just in one room and it"s all prints, and we stayed there about an hour then I got back and I took a Valium and I couldn"t sleep.

Tuesday, September 1, 1981- Colorado We had to get out at 10:30, I had to do four TV shows. Went to the campus and I had to pose with a cow-they brought a cow from one of their agriculture things. So I had to hug a cow, standing in front of the Soup Cans. It was fun. And then I did all this TV. I was good, I could answer all these dumb questions. They said that when Rauschenberg was there n.o.body would come and that I"m the most famous artist in the world.

At the opening, we had to go into the show the back way. All these kids pushing and shoving and I had to sit there. All I do is sign sign sign.

And the biggest shock was two hours later this girl comes up and says, "Hi, it"s Eva, your niece." And I didn"t know what to do with her. This is Eva who lived in my house on 89th and Lex for a few months in "69 or "70, taking care of my mother. She said, "I"ve been waiting two and a half hours in line." And I knew I was in Denver where my nephew ex-Father Paul is and I didn"t call him, either. Eva just read it in the paper. I can"t face a family, I guess.

I was signing signing signing and then a guy came with a big fat yellow snake around his neck. He was so creepy, and he said, "Sign my snake," and Christopher freaked out and said, "No snakes! No snakes to be signed!" So he said, "Sign my forehead." So here"s this snake coming at me. So I put an "X" on his forehead. Because I couldn"t write, I was just too nervous with the snake. We had to go through another whole hour ordeal. It looked like it would never be the end, but finally it was the end. So I guess there"s always an end.

Wednesday, September 2, 1981-Colorado-New York The papers were full of me and my age. They all gave my age. That school"s going to become one of the best schools because they"re really intelligent. They had this course called something like "Wind Tunnel," and the professor puts models of big buildings into a tunnel and blows the air through to see what happens to them. With all the wind pressure. He said there were five very very dangerous buildings in this country, but he wouldn"t tell us which ones and I kept saying dangerous buildings in this country, but he wouldn"t tell us which ones and I kept saying (laughs) (laughs), "What about the Gulf + Western?"

And so then we had to go to our next stop, a cla.s.s where they collect s.e.m.e.n from a bull. And they brought the biggest bulls with flies on them that you could ever imagine. They had this poor little animal-he had his head stuck in a thing-and the guy said, "This is a steer, and when he was young, other male steers would jump on him, he"s just one of these strange animals that give off the wrong hormones." And so as soon as they saw that happening they pulled him out and segregated him, and now he"s being used in this experiment to get f.u.c.ked by a big bull. And there was a big bull sitting there, waiting.

Christopher ran out of film and he was going nuts, he wanted to get the big c.o.c.k out. So they get the bull over and let him mount the steer and he gives out some juice but they don"t want that that juice. His c.o.c.k is like a two-foot pencil. It"s pointed. So the guy said, "Wait, I have to get the artificial v.a.g.i.n.a." So he ran in and got the glove and everything, and then the bull mounted again and he e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed really fast and the whole thing was over. Then we went into the office and watched while the guy took the sperm out of the artificial v.a.g.i.n.a. juice. His c.o.c.k is like a two-foot pencil. It"s pointed. So the guy said, "Wait, I have to get the artificial v.a.g.i.n.a." So he ran in and got the glove and everything, and then the bull mounted again and he e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed really fast and the whole thing was over. Then we went into the office and watched while the guy took the sperm out of the artificial v.a.g.i.n.a.

All of us slept on the way to the airport for some reason except Chris, he said he was going to spend the night in Denver and go to the Baths. Watching the bull must have got him really hot.

Got to New York, our driver was waiting for us. Dropped Fred off and he gave me my underwear which was in his bag, then dropped Bob off. Tipped the driver ($40).

Bob had the best news because he got the job he tried out for on the new Paramount TV show, Entertainment Tonight Entertainment Tonight. Barry Diller called him up and told him.

Sunday, September 13, 1981 Worked all afternoon till Christopher brought up some photographs. He said he was in love and I had to tell him that he had no right to do that because he"s already "married." He"s fallen in love with Mark from Colorado. He fell in love just because he didn"t have enough to do, and after he left Peter called and I told Peter that we"d have to cut off Christopher"s purse strings because then he"d have to work harder because all he does now is sit around and think about romance. And isn"t that what families always do-cut off the purse strings? So he"ll have to go back into the darkroom and start printing for other customers again because he has it too easy, he makes so much money printing pictures up for me.

And I"m so nervous about my show. The Rolling Stones just got glowing reviews-and what they did was just a repeat of their old alb.u.m. And here I am doing a show, repeating all the old Pop images....

I picked up the phone and it was my first superstar, Naomi Levine, and she was saying, "Oh I hear you"re having a show. I"m going to come and see you." I said, "Oh, I"m not going to be there. Oh, am I having a show? Really? Where?" The dialogue was straight from the sixties. I heard myself going, "Oh really? Oh. Oh. Really? Oh."

Tuesday, September 15, 1981 Ron Feldman was having a limo bring me down to the gallery, this is the day of the opening. Jon said he had to go to a video convention but that he"d try to come. John Reinhold was coming, and Wilson Kidde. And Rupert had arrived at the office looking like he was my son or something. Or like he he was the artist. was the artist. (laughs) (laughs) A bow tie. White shirt. Blue blazer. Bluejeans. And cowboy boots. And then when I stared at him because he was dressed exactly like me, he got too embarra.s.sed so he changed his bow tie into a long one. A bow tie. White shirt. Blue blazer. Bluejeans. And cowboy boots. And then when I stared at him because he was dressed exactly like me, he got too embarra.s.sed so he changed his bow tie into a long one.

Got there and there were so many people, all young. n.o.body over twenty-one.

Chris got mad at me because he said he was really lonely and that I wasn"t taking care of him, that I wasn"t taking him off to any parties, and I told him I couldn"t that night because Halston had invited me to dinner and I couldn"t bring anybody and that was that. Chris was with the Loud girl and he just got mad and rode off in his car.

Went to Halston"s for dinner before the reopening of Studio 54. Halston had wanted to give a party for Steve before the reopening, but Steve told him Calvin was already giving him one. So then Halston asked Steve to choose between him and Calvin-Steve chose Calvin. But then Calvin smoothed things over by calling Halston to invite him. Went in Halston"s car and arrived to the Sovereign and went up to Calvin"s penthouse and everybody was either famous or beautiful-Brooke Shields and seventy-five other models, and Jack Nicholson was there.

And G.o.dunov was there, he came over and he looked so beautiful and s.e.xy and he"s just changed his whole personality, he"s so free and talkative now. Then we went to Studio 54 and the street was just mobbed like I"ve never seen it, and it made my art opening look like it"d been deserted. And Calvin took Brooke. It was so jammed they must have made a fortune at $25 a head. Went to leave at quarter to 3:00. It took us fifteen minutes to get out of the place.

Oh, and I forgot to say that Truman called on Monday and his voice-I didn"t even know it was him on the phone. He was saying cuckoo things, like that he"d died twice and that his brain had stopped for thirty-two seconds so that"s what he was going to call his next book-Thirty-two Seconds. Then the next day, Tuesday, at about 6:30, he collapsed in his lobby and all the newspapers and TV reporters rushed over to U.N. Plaza. He was taken to the hospital and it was front-page news, it got the cover of the Post Post and everything, and so I think he must have gotten the press that we were supposed to get at the Feldman Gallery. Because the TV people never came. and everything, and so I think he must have gotten the press that we were supposed to get at the Feldman Gallery. Because the TV people never came.

Wednesday, September 16, 1981 Bob said he was closer to getting Mrs. Reagan to do an interview, but I think she"s too old and it"s old-fashioned. We should have younger people. What is there to ask her? About her movie career? Oh it"ll never happen anyway. It started to rain and I got an umbrella ($5).

Thursday, September 17, 1981 The weather was rainy, walked around with Interviews Interviews and then went to Dr. Cott, who Ina Ginsburg said knew about nutrition, on 38th and Third, a big new building (cab $4.50). He was in 2-D and he had two secretaries. He looked like a Hollywood doctor. Wrinkled, but healthy-looking, young, white curly hair. Jewish. And he was like a psychiatrist, he asked me questions about my life and nodded and jotted things down. I told him I was born in 1931. Look, they don"t know, it doesn"t matter. And before I told him that I lost my pigment and hair when I was young, he looked at my hair and then went to Dr. Cott, who Ina Ginsburg said knew about nutrition, on 38th and Third, a big new building (cab $4.50). He was in 2-D and he had two secretaries. He looked like a Hollywood doctor. Wrinkled, but healthy-looking, young, white curly hair. Jewish. And he was like a psychiatrist, he asked me questions about my life and nodded and jotted things down. I told him I was born in 1931. Look, they don"t know, it doesn"t matter. And before I told him that I lost my pigment and hair when I was young, he looked at my hair (laughs) (laughs) and said, "I hope you don"t mind cutting off some of your hair for a check on it." So I told him I was there because of pimples because I want to model. We talked about vitamins and he told me all vitamins are chemicals and that vitamin C is made from corn. It took an hour and he prescribed so many medicines, like tryptophan because I said I couldn"t sleep. And I told him I"d taken that and that it made me feel so peculiar, and he said, "Well, then just take one." And he told me that a fresh apple is the best thing to have before bed, because it has some sleeping powder in it. And I told him that I"d read that a turkey sandwich and a gla.s.s of milk was the best thing, and he said that was, too. And he told me to eat a lot of bananas because I told him I couldn"t remember things or something. and said, "I hope you don"t mind cutting off some of your hair for a check on it." So I told him I was there because of pimples because I want to model. We talked about vitamins and he told me all vitamins are chemicals and that vitamin C is made from corn. It took an hour and he prescribed so many medicines, like tryptophan because I said I couldn"t sleep. And I told him I"d taken that and that it made me feel so peculiar, and he said, "Well, then just take one." And he told me that a fresh apple is the best thing to have before bed, because it has some sleeping powder in it. And I told him that I"d read that a turkey sandwich and a gla.s.s of milk was the best thing, and he said that was, too. And he told me to eat a lot of bananas because I told him I couldn"t remember things or something.

Walked with Bob over to Barneys for the opening of the new top floor that that Peter Marino designed, and it"s nice up there-little shops where they sell dishrags and jellies and things. We went to the Armani room for lunch. Gene Pressman, the son of the owner, told me I could get a discount on anything because of the ads I"m modeling in for them.

Friday, September 18, 1981 I had lunch with Chris. His new boyfriend"s back in Colorado and Peter"s on the Cape. Chris sits there with a magnifying gla.s.s looking at the eyes of his new boyfriend in the photographs he took. On a contact sheet.