The Brass Bottle

Chapter 14

"If you only knew," said Horace, "you wouldn"t call it profusion.

It--it"s not at all the dinner I meant it to be, and I"m afraid it wasn"t particularly nice--but it"s certainly not expensive."

"Expensive is, of course, a very relative term. But I think I have the right to ask whether this is the footing on which you propose to begin your married life?"

It was an extremely awkward question, as the reader will perceive. If Ventimore replied--as he might with truth--that he had no intention whatever of maintaining his wife in luxury such as that, he stood convicted of selfish indulgence as a bachelor; if, on the other hand, he declared that he _did_ propose to maintain his wife in the same fantastic and exaggerated splendour as the present, it would certainly confirm her father"s disbelief in his prudence and economy.

And it was that egregious old a.s.s of a Jinnee, as Horace thought, with suppressed rage, who had let him in for all this, and who was now far beyond all remonstrance or reproach!

Before he could bring himself to answer the question, the attendants had noiselessly removed the tray and stool, and were handing round rosewater in a silver ewer and basin, the character of which, luckily or otherwise, turned the Professor"s inquisitiveness into a different channel.

"These are not bad--really not bad at all," he said, inspecting the design. "Where did you manage to pick them up?"

"I didn"t," said Horace; "they"re provided by the--the person who supplies the dinner."

"Can you give me his address?" said the Professor, scenting a bargain; "because really, you know, these things are probably antiques--much too good to be used for business purposes."

"I"m wrong," said Horace, lamely; "these particular things are--are lent by an eccentric Oriental gentleman, as a great favour."

"Do I know him? Is he a collector of such things?"

"You wouldn"t have met him; he--he"s lived a very retired life of late."

"I should very much like to see his collection. If you could give me a letter of introduction----"

"No," said Horace, in a state of p.r.i.c.kly heat; "it wouldn"t be any use.

His collection is never shown. He--he"s a most peculiar man. And just now he"s abroad."

"Ah! pardon me if I"ve been indiscreet; but I concluded from what you said that this--ah--banquet was furnished by a professional caterer."

"Oh, the banquet? Yes, _that_ came from the Stores," said Horace, mendaciously. "The--the Oriental Cookery Department. They"ve just started it, you know; so--so I thought I"d give them a trial. But it"s not what I call properly organised yet."

The slaves were now, with low obeisances, inviting them to seat themselves on the divan which lined part of the hall.

"Ha!" said the Professor, as he rose from his cushion, cracking audibly, "so we"re to have our coffee and what not over there, hey?... Well, my boy, I shan"t be sorry, I confess, to have something to lean my back against--and a cigar, a mild cigar, will--ah--aid digestion. You _do_ smoke here?"

"Smoke?" said Horace, "Why, of course! All over the place. Here," he said, clapping his hands, which brought an obsequious slave instantly to his side; "just bring coffee and cigars, will you?"

The slave rolled his brandy-ball eyes in obvious perplexity.

"Coffee," said Horace; "you must know what coffee is. And cigarettes.

Well, _chibouks_, then--"hubble-bubbles"--if that"s what you call them."

But the slave clearly did not understand, and it suddenly struck Horace that, since "tobacco and coffee were not introduced, even in the East, till long after the Jinnee"s time, he, as the founder of the feast, would naturally be unaware how indispensable they had become at the present day.

"I"m really awfully sorry," he said; "but they don"t seem to have provided any. I shall speak to the manager about it. And, unfortunately, I don"t know where my own cigars are."

"It"s of no consequence," said the Professor, with the sort of stoicism that minds very much. "I am a moderate smoker at best, and Turkish coffee, though delicious, is apt to keep me awake. But if you could let me have a look at that bra.s.s bottle you got at poor Collingham"s sale, I should be obliged to you."

Horace had no idea where it was then, nor could he, until the Professor came to the rescue with a few words of Arabic, manage to make the slaves comprehend what he wished them to find.

At length, however, two of them appeared, bearing the bra.s.s bottle with every sign of awe, and depositing it at Ventimore"s feet.

Professor Futvoye, after wiping and adjusting his gla.s.ses, proceeded to examine the vessel. "It certainly is a most unusual type of bra.s.sware,"

he said, "as unique in its way as the silver ewer and basin; and, as you thought, there does seem to be something resembling an inscription on the cap, though in this dim light it is almost impossible to be sure."

While he was poring over it, Horace seated himself on the divan by Sylvia"s side, hoping for one of the whispered conversations permitted to affianced lovers; he had pulled through the banquet somehow, and on the whole he felt thankful things had not gone off worse. The noiseless and uncanny attendants, whom he did not know whether to regard as Efreets, or demons, or simply illusions, but whose services he had no wish to retain, had all withdrawn. Mrs. Futvoye was peacefully slumbering, and her husband was in a better humour than he had been all the evening.

Suddenly from behind the hangings of one of the archways came strange, discordant sounds, barbaric janglings and thumpings, varied by yowls as of impa.s.sioned cats.

Sylvia drew involuntarily closer to Horace; her mother woke with a start, and the Professor looked up from the bra.s.s bottle with returning irritation.

"What"s this? What"s this?" he demanded; "some fresh surprise in store for us?"

It was quite as much of a surprise for Horace, but he was spared the humiliation of owning it by the entrance of some half-dozen dusky musicians swathed in white and carrying various strangely fashioned instruments, with which they squatted down in a semi-circle by the opposite wall, and began to tw.a.n.g, and drub, and squall with the complacent cacophony of an Eastern orchestra. Clearly Fakrash was determined that nothing should be wanting to make the entertainment a complete success.

"What a very extraordinary noise!" said Mrs. Futvoye; "surely they can"t mean it for music?"

"Yes, they do," said Horace; "it--it"s really more harmonious than it sounds--you have to get accustomed to the--er--notation. When you do, it"s rather soothing than otherwise."

"I dare say," said the poor lady. "And do _they_ come from the Stores, too?"

"No," said Horace, with a fine a.s.sumption of candour, "they don"t; they come from--the Arab Encampment at Earl"s Court--parties and _fetes_ attended, you know. But they play _here_ for nothing; they--they want to get their name known, you see; very deserving and respectable set of fellows."

"My dear Horace!" remarked Mrs. Futvoye, "if they expect to get engagements for parties and so on, they really ought to try and learn a tune of _some_ sort."

"I understand, Horace," whispered Sylvia, "it"s very naughty of you to have gone to all this trouble and expense (for, of course, it _has_ cost you a lot) just to please us; but, whatever, dad may say, I love you all the better for doing it!"

And her hand stole softly into his, and he felt that he could forgive Fakrash everything, even--even the orchestra.

But there was something unpleasantly spectral about their shadowy forms, which showed in grotesquely baggy and bulgy shapes in the uncertain light. Some of them wore immense and curious white head-dresses, which gave them the appearance of poulticed thumbs; and they all went on sc.r.a.ping and twiddling and caterwauling with a doleful monotony that Horace felt must be getting on his guests" nerves, as it certainly was on his own.

He did not know how to get rid of them, but he sketched a kind of gesture in the air, intended to intimate that, while their efforts had afforded the keenest pleasure to the company generally, they were unwilling to monopolise them any longer, and the artists were at liberty to retire.

Perhaps there is no art more liable to misconstruction than pantomime; certainly, Ventimore"s efforts in this direction were misunderstood, for the music became wilder, louder, more aggressively and abominably out of tune--and then a worse thing happened.

For the curtains separated, and, heralded by sharp yelps from the performers, a female figure floated into the hall and began to dance with a slow and sinuous grace.

Her beauty, though of a p.r.o.nounced Oriental type, was unmistakable, even in the subdued light which fell on her; her diaphanous robe indicated a faultless form; her dark tresses were braided with sequins; she had the long, l.u.s.trous eyes, the dusky cheeks artificially whitened, and the fixed scarlet smile of the Eastern dancing-girl of all time.

And she paced the floor with her tinkling feet, writhing and undulating like some beautiful cobra, while the players worked themselves up to yet higher and higher stages of frenzy.

Ventimore, as he sat there looking helplessly on, felt a return of his resentment against the Jinnee. It was really too bad of him; he ought, at his age, to have known better!

Not that there was anything objectionable in the performance itself; but still, it was _not_ the kind of entertainment for such an occasion.

Horace wished now he had mentioned to Fakrash who the guests were whom he expected, and then perhaps even the Jinnee would have exercised more tact in his arrangements.

"And does this girl come from Earl"s Court?" inquired Mrs. Futvoye, who was now thoroughly awake.