"Yes. People interest me too."
In what way? But if she asked, she would be interviewing. That was how she"d met Alastair; she had been searching for someone worth interviewing in a cellar disco, where underground lightning made everyone stagger jaggedly. He had watched her searching, had come over to her; he had seemed fascinating, at the time.
The man-perhaps twenty years older than her, about forty-five-" smiling at her. "What do you do?" she said neutrally.
"Oh-know about people, mainly."
She deduced he meant that he had no job. Some of the most interesting people were unemployed, she"d found. "I"m in Brichester to talk to people," she said. "For my new book."
"That must be interesting. I know some people who might be worth your talking to," he said. "Not the common kind."
Oh yes? But Alastair and his mother still seemed too close for her to feel quite safe in trusting this man. "Well, thank you," she said. "Perhaps I"ll see you again. I must be going now."
She thought she glimpsed the sign of a twinge of rejection. He must be vulnerable too. Then he was smiling and raising his hand in farewell, and she was walking away, forcing herself to walk away.
At the gate she glanced back. He was standing as she"d left him, gazing after her. Nearer her, a movement caught her attention: between the trees, against the muted glitter of misty ripples on the lake-a dark figure watching her? There was nothing when she faced it: it must have been the effect of the light. The man waved briefly again as she left the park; he looked small and rather frail and lonely now, on the thin path. She found herself wishing she"d asked his name.
Brichester was disappointing in the wrong way.
She had shown it to be disappointing in her first novel, _A Year in the Country__. She"d shown its contemptuous openly reluctant pandering to tourists; the way decay and new estates were dissolving the town"s ident.i.ty; the frustrations of the young and the middle-aged, the young settling for violence or hallucinations while they yearned for London, the middle-aged extending their s.e.xual repertoire in glum desperation. She hadn"t called the town Brichester, but the local papers had recognized it: their reviews had been peevishly hostile. That had added to her sense of triumph, for most reviews had been enthusiastic.
All she"d written had been partly true; the rest of Brichester she"d imagined, for she had been living in Camside. Perhaps she had underrated her imagination. She had moved to Brichester to write her second book, a portrait of the town in all its moods and aspects, based on observation and interviews. But the reality proved to be less interesting than her version of it; it was full of cliches, of anticlimaxes. No wonder Alastair, with his sense of a secret to be revealed, had seemed interesting.
The more she saw, the more it dulled her. In particular the young people were worse than bored: they were boring. She spent the rest of the day after she"d left the park, and the following day, finding that out. Some trendy phrases she heard a dozen times; if she heard them once more she would scream.
She walked home through the evening. Unpleasantly, she felt less like an observer than an outsider. She knew n.o.body in the town. But she wasn"t going back to Camside, to her father; that would be admitting defeat. She nodded to herself, pressing her lips together, trying to feel strong.
Above the roofs the sky was flat; its luminous unrelieved gray was almost white. Its emptiness was somehow disturbing, as though it were a mirror clear of any reflection. The trees that bowed over the pavement, the bricks of the houses, looked thin, brittle, unreal; their colors seemed feeble. All this fed her alienation. The only real thing she could find in her recent memory was the man in the park, and he was distant now. If only she"d talked to him. Dully preoccupied, she took a short cut through an alley behind two streets.
The walls paced by, half as tall again as she. Their tops were crowded with shards of gla.s.s, dull as ice. Old doors went by amid the brick, bolted tight, no doubt on rusty hinges. She made her way between double-parked bins, their lids tilted rakishly. The whitish sky glowed sullenly in everything. Someone was hurrying behind her.
He wouldn"t be able to squeeze past. She could hear his quick footsteps approaching. She began to hurry too, so that she"d be out of the alley before he reached her, so they wouldn"t have to squeeze between the bins; that was why she was hurrying. But why couldn"t she look back? Wasn"t it silly to hurry as if fleeing? The footsteps stopped, leaving abrupt silence at her back.
He had leapt; he was in the air now, coming down at her. The idea was absurd, but she turned hastily. The alley was deserted.
She stared along the blank walls. There was nowhere he could have turned. She would have heard if any of the doors had opened. Had he leapt onto a wall? She glimpsed a figure crouched above her, gazing down-except that he couldn"t have leapt onto the gla.s.s. The dead light and the brittle world seemed unnaturally still. Suddenly panic rushed through her; she fled.
She ran past her street. The building might be empty, her flat would feel all the more unsafe for being on the ground floor. She ran to the park. The man was there, at the lake"s edge. She had never been so glad to see anyone in her life.
He turned as she came near. He was preoccupied; she thought she saw a hint of sorrow. Then he read her face, and frowned. "Is something wrong?" he said.
What could she say? Only "I think someone was following me."
He gazed about. "Are they still there? Show me."
She could feel his calm, the directness of his purpose; they made her feel secure at once. "Oh, they"ll have gone," she said. "It"s all right now."
"I hope so." He made that sound like a promise of justice and strength. She was reminded of her father"s best qualities; she turned her mind away from that, and said "I"m sorry I interrupted whatever you were thinking."
"Please don"t trouble yourself. I"ve time enough." But for a moment what he had been thinking was present between them, unspoken and vague: a sense of pain, of grief, perhaps of loss. When she"d said goodbye to her father-Perhaps the man wanted to be alone, to return to his thoughts. "Thank you for looking after me," she said.
As she made to walk away she sensed that he felt rebuffed. She had had that sense as she"d left her father: the sense of his mute sorrow, the loss of her like a bond she was stretching between them until it snapped. She thought of tomorrow, of talking to people whom she could hardly distinguish from yesterday"s batch, of explaining about her new book over and over until it sounded like an old stale joke, of going to her empty room. "You said you could introduce me to some people," she said.
His name was James; she never tried to call him Jimmy or Jim.
She had no idea where he lived. They always met at her flat; she suspected he was ashamed of his home. His job, if he had one, remained a mystery. So did his unspoken suffering.
She was often aware of his suffering: twinges of pain or grief deep within him, almost concealed. She tried to comfort him without betraying her glimpses. Perhaps one day she would write about him, but now she couldn"t stand back far enough to observe him; nor did she want to.
And the people he knew! There was the folk group who sang in more languages than Betty could recognize. They sang in a pub, and the barman joined in; in the intervals he told her the history of the songs, while his casually skillful hands served drinks. There was the commune-at least, it was more like a commune than anything else-trying to live in a seventeenth-century cottage in a seventeenth-century way: six young people and an older man, one of what seemed to be a group of obsessed local historians and conservationists. There was the painter who taught in the evenings, a terrifying woman whose eyes shone constantly; all her pupils painted landscapes which, when stared at, began to vibrate and become mystical symbols.
Betty enjoyed meeting them all, even the unnervingly intense painter. She felt invulnerable within James" calm. But she wasn"t sure how much use these meetings would be. Sometimes when she thought of her book, she felt irritable, frustrated; it was changing form, she could no longer perceive it clearly, couldn"t grasp it. Surely its new form would be clear to her soon; meanwhile she avoided touching it, as if it were a raw wound in her mind. Instead, she enjoyed the calm.
s.e.x with James was a deeper calm. She learned that the first time he had to calm her down. He"d taken her to a meeting of the British Movement, addressed by a man who looked like a large peevish red-faced schoolboy, and who spoke in generalizations and second-hand anecdotes. A few of the audience asked most of the questions; later these people gathered in someone"s front room, where Betty and James had managed to accompany them. They proved to be British Supremacists. Some were young, and shouted at Betty"s disagreements; some were old-their old eyes glanced slyly, suspiciously at her notebook, at her. They examined her as if she were a misguided child. Didn"t she believe in her country? in tradition? in helping to make things the way they used to be? Just what did she think she was doing? Eventually, mute with fury, she strode out.
James followed her. "I"m sorry," he said. "I thought it would be worth your meeting them." She nodded tight-lipped, not caring whether he realized she didn"t blame him. When they reached her flat she still felt coiled tight, wound into a hard lump in her stomach.
She tried to make coffee. She spilled hot drips over her hand, and dropped the cup. "b.l.o.o.d.y f.u.c.king s.h.i.t!" she screamed, and kicked the fragments against the skirting-board, ground their fragments smaller with her toes.
James put his arm about her shoulders. He stroked her hair, her back, ma.s.saging her. "Don"t get yourself into a state," he said. "I don"t want you like that." She nestled more snugly against him; her shaking slowed, eased. He stroked the small of her back, her b.u.t.tocks, her legs; his hand slid upward, lifting her skirt, slowly and gently baring her. She felt enormously safe. She opened moistly.
He switched off the light as she guided him to her bed. Shortly she felt him naked beside her; warm, gentle, surrounding her with calm. In fact he seemed almost too calm, as though he were an observer, detached. Was he doing this simply to soothe her? But his p.e.n.i.s felt hard and ready. Her body jerked eagerly.
He held himself back from her. I"m ready, ready now! she pleaded with him, gasping, but he was still fondling more pleasure into her, until it was almost pain. She tried to quicken him: his p.e.n.i.s tasted salty, much more so than her first boyfriend"s, the only boy (she"d vowed) her father would ever lose her.
Eventually James raised her knees leisurely and slipped into her: thick, heavily k.n.o.bbed, unyielding yet smooth. The growing ripples of her pleasure were waves at once; they overwhelmed her; all of her gasped uncontrollably. She didn"t feel him dwindle. As she lay slack he kissed her forehead. In a minute she was alone.
That was the only thing she disliked: the way he left her as if he were late for an appointment. Once or twice she asked him to stay, but he shook his head sadly. Perhaps he had to return to his home, however poor, so as not to admit he was ashamed of it. She feared to plead, in case that troubled his calm. But alone in her flat at night, she felt uneasy.
She was disturbed by what she had seen looking in at her. A dream, of course: a pale form the size of a head that was never really there in the gap between the curtains when she sat up, frightened by her own cry. She"d seen it several times, at the edge of sleep: an impatient dream, tugging at her while she was awake. But once, when she"d sat up, she had seen it dimly, nodding back from the window. She"d seen something-a bird, a flight of waste paper, the glancing of a headlight. Or a hallucination.
Perhaps it was the last of the drug. She"d thought it had worn off after the footsteps in the alley; surely it had caused them. But it might still be able to touch her near her sleep. She couldn"t tell James about the business with Alastair; she didn"t know where to start. That helped her to accept that James was ent.i.tled to his own unspoken secret, but at the same time her muteness seemed to refuse the rea.s.surance of his calm, to leave her vulnerable there.
Then one day she saw her chance to be rea.s.sured. It was evening; they were walking back to her flat. He had introduced her to an antique dealer whose house was his shop, and who lived somewhere among rooms that were mazes of bookcases. James talked about books now as they strolled: for some he"d had to search for years. Did James keep them all in his mysterious home, she wondered? Houses sauntered by. The cottage where Alastair"s mother lived was approaching.
Betty tried not to be uneasy. Nothing could happen, she was with James. The sky steamed slowly, white and thick, low above the roofs; it pressed down the quiet, oppressively, until their footsteps sounded like the insistence of relentless hollow clocks. It held down the flat thin light of the streets. The terraces between Betty and the cottage were full of the mouths of alleys. Any of them might propel a figure into her path.
Abruptly the terrace halted. A railing led to open gates; between the bars gra.s.s glowed, headstones and a church shone dull white. All at once it occurred to Betty that she still wasn"t sure whether Alastair was dead. Wouldn"t he be buried here, if anywhere? She was sure any truth would be a relief. "Let"s go in here," she said.
The evening had darkened before she found the stone; it was darker still beneath the trees. The new smooth marble gleamed between stains of the shadows of branches. She had to kneel on the grave before she could read anything. At last she made out ALASTAIR, and the date his letter had arrived.
"Who was he?" James said as she rose.
She thought she heard jealousy, a secret pain. "Oh, n.o.body," she said.
"He must have been somebody to you."
There was no mistaking the sound of hurt now. "n.o.body worth bothering about," she said. "I wouldn"t have bothered with him if I"d known you."
She held him tight and thrust his lips open. One of his hands clasped her b.u.t.tocks hard. She was still kissing him when she felt his other hand at work between their bodies. He freed his p.e.n.i.s; she could barely see it, a darker shadow, gleaming. "Oh no, James," she gasped. "Somebody might see."
"There"s n.o.body else about. Besides, it"s dark." He didn"t bother to conceal his pain. He sounded rejected, as though she were refusing him for fear of offending Alastair. She dug her nails into his shoulders, confused. When he began to strip her beneath her skirt and caress her, she protested only silently.
As he entered her, her back thumped against a tree. His glans stretched her again and again, like a fist, as he thrust. Sections of her mind seemed to part, to watch each other. She saw herself proving she was free of Alastair, to herself and to James. It was as though this were a chapter she was writing, an almost absurdly symbolic chapter.
But she could just see James" face, calm, uninvolved. She wanted him to feel something this time, to let go of his calm. Couldn"t he feel her giving herself? She strained her body down on his, she wrapped her thighs about his hips, squeezing; the treetrunk rubbed her b.u.t.tocks raw through her skirt. But when she"d exploded herself into limpness he took himself out of her at once.
She lay on the gra.s.s, regaining her breath. The red flashes her lids had pressed into her eyes were fading. Above her something pale nodded forward, peering down from the tree. A bird, only a bird. Before she could make herself look up it had withdrawn into the darkness, rustling.
She must satisfy him. That goal became clearer every time she met him. She loved his calm, but he shouldn"t be calm during s.e.x: it made her feel rejected, observed, though she knew that was irrational. Once she seemed almost to reach him, but felt his unspoken pain holding him back. She felt obscurely that he didn"t enjoy s.e.x in her flat, that for him there was something missing. If only he would invite her home! Whatever it was like she wouldn"t mind. All she wanted was to feel his o.r.g.a.s.m.
Ironically-perhaps because she had been too preoccupied with Alastair to worry about it-her book was taking shape. Now she could see it properly, it excited her: an answer to her first novel, a book about the character of Brichester, about its strangenesses.
She found herself thinking inadvertently of her father. "How can you write such stuff?" he"d demanded. "Oh well, if you _have__ to get known that way," he"d greeted the reviews of her novel. They had had a row; she had fled its viciousness, for she"d seen that it could be an excuse to leave him-him and his possessiveness, his cold glum moralizing, his attempts to mold her into a subst.i.tute for her dead mother. And now she was contradicting her novel, admitting it was false. She saw her father standing back from his bedroom window where he thought she couldn"t see, mouth slack, eyes blindly bright with tears-She didn"t need to remember these things. James would be here soon.
He seemed to have run out of people to introduce her to; he was showing her places now. Today"s was a church, St. Joseph"s in the Wood. They climbed Mercy Hill, which was tiered with terraces. Huge dark stains uncurled sluggishly over the sky. The church stood beyond the top of the slope, deep in trees.
Betty walked around it, taking notes: thirteenth-century; some signs of the Knights Templar had been partially erased; Victorians had slipped stained gla.s.s into the windows. The trees surrounded it with quiet. The foliage was almost as dark as the clouds, and moved like them; above her everything shifted darkly, ponderously. In the silence dim vague shadows crawled over the church, merging. She hurried back to the porch, to James. "Shall we go in?" he said.
It was quieter within, and dim. Though small, the church was s.p.a.cious; their footsteps clattered softly, echoed rattling among the pews. Unstable dark shapes swayed over the windows, plucking at saints" faces. Betty walked slowly, disliking to stay too far ahead of James. But while she stayed close she could feel he was excited, eager. Had he planned a surprise? She turned, but his face was calm.
The stone void rang with their echoes. She stood in the aisle, gazing at the arch before the altar: a pointed arch, veined with cracks but unshaken. On either side of the altar stood a slim window; amber-like, each gla.s.s held a saint. She leaned over the altar-rail to peer. She felt James" hands about her waist. Then one was pushing the small of her back; the other was lifting her skirt.
At once she knew why he had been excited. Perhaps that was why he had brought her here. "Not here!" she cried.
His hands stopped, resting where they were. She glanced back at his face. For the first time she saw unconcealed pain there. He needed to make love to her here, she realized; he"d admitted it to her, and she"d recoiled from it-the means to his satisfaction.
"Oh, James." She couldn"t help sounding sad and bewildered. Part of her was pleading: anywhere but here. But that was how her father would moralize, she thought. His moralizing had turned her against her childhood religion long ago. If James needed it to be here then that was natural, that was life. n.o.body would see them, n.o.body would come here on a day like this. She turned her face away from him, letting her body go loose. She closed her eyes and gripped the rail.
She felt him baring her b.u.t.tocks; the cool air of the church touched them. Now he was parting them; her sphincter twitched nervously. Why didn"t he turn her? What was he-He stretched her b.u.t.tocks wide and at once was huge and snug within her. That had never been done to her before. Her shocked cry, an explosion of emotions she couldn"t grasp, fled echoing around the church, like a trapped bird.
It was all right. She had reached her goal at last. It was experience, she might write about it sometime, write about how she felt. But she suppressed her gasps; the church mustn"t hear. G.o.d, would he need this every time? She felt him thumping within her, the sounds of her body were strident amid the quiet. Shadows threshed toward her from the altar; the church frowned darkly, hugely. Someone stood at the window on the left of the altar, watching her.
Only the stained gla.s.s. But the figure of the saint seemed to fill, to become solid, as if someone were standing within the outline. He pressed against the gla.s.s, dim and unstable as the shadows, gazing at her with the saint"s face. The gla.s.s cleared at once, but with a wordless cry she thrust her hands behind her, throwing James out of her. Her b.u.t.tocks smacked shut.
She ran down the aisle, sobbing dryly. When she heard James pursuing she ran faster; she didn"t know what to say to him. She stumbled out of the church. Which way had they come? The darkness stooped enormously toward her, creaking; shadows splashed over the gra.s.s, thick and slow. Was that the avenue, or that one? She heard the church door open, and ran between the trees.
The dimness roared about her, open-throated. The heavy darkness tossed overhead, thickening. She lost the avenue. Dim pillars surrounded her with exits beyond exits, leading deeper into the roaring dark; their tangled archways rocked above her, thrashing loudly. Someone was following her, rapid and vague. She wasn"t sure it was James.
The trees moved apart ahead. The wider gap led to little but dimness, but it was an avenue. She ran out from beneath the trees. Foliage hissed wildly on both sides of the avenue, darkness rushed over the gra.s.s, but her way was clear ahead. She ran faster, gasping. The avenue led to an edge full of nothing but sky; that must be the top of Mercy Hill. The avenue was wide and empty, except for a long dim sapling in the middle of her path. A crack rolled open briefly between the clouds, spilling gray light. She was running headlong toward the sapling, which was not a sapling at all: it was a dreadfully thin figure, nodding toward her, arms stretched wide. She screamed and threw herself aside, toward the trees; a root caught her foot; she fell.
As soon as they reached her flat, James left her.
When she"d recovered from the shock of her fall she had seen him bending down to her. He had helped her to her feet, had guided her through the hectic darkness, without speaking. There was no sapling on the path. His silence rebuked her for fleeing.
He left her at her gate. "Don"t leave me now," she pleaded, but he was striding away into the dark.
He was being childish. Had he no idea why she"d fled? Most women wouldn"t have let him get so far. She"d tried to understand him, yet the first time she needed understanding he refused to try. She slammed her door angrily. Let him be childish if he enjoyed it. But her anger only delayed her fear of being alone. She hurried through the flat, making sure the windows were locked.
Days pa.s.sed. She tried to work, but the thought of the nights distracted her; she couldn"t stand the flat at night, the patient mocking stillness. She drifted toward the young people she"d interviewed. They knew she was a writer, they showed her off to friends or told her stories; they were comfortingly dull. Occasionally boys would invite her home, but she refused them-even though often as she lay in bed something moved at the window. If she drew the curtains tight, they moved as if it had got in.
Each morning she went to the park. Flights of ducks applauded her visits, squawking, before they plunged into their washes on the lake. The trees filled with pink, with white. There was never anyone about: never James.
One night a shadow appeared on her bedroom wall. She lay staring at it. It was taller than the ceiling; its head folded in half at the top of the wall. Its outline trembled and shifted like steam. It was only a man, waiting for someone outside beneath the lamp. It dwindled to a man"s size; it ceased to be a menacing giant. Suddenly she realized that the dwindling meant he had come to the window-he was staring in, and his head still seemed oddly dislocated. She buried her face in the pillow, shaking. It seemed hours before she could look to see that the shadow had gone.
The next day James was in the park.
She saw him as she neared the gate. He was standing at the edge of the lake, against the shattering light. She blinked; her eyes were hot with sleeplessness. Then she began to pace stealthily toward him, like a hunter. He mustn"t escape again.
No, that was silly. He wouldn"t like her playing tricks on him. She strode loudly; her heels squeaked on the gravel. But he gazed at the sunlight scattered on the water, until she wondered if he meant to ignore her. Only when she was close enough to touch did he turn.
His face was full of the unspoken: the memory or antic.i.p.ation of pain. "I"m sorry," she said, though she hadn"t meant to be so direct. "Please come back."
After a while, when his face showed nothing but calm, he nodded. "I"ll come to you tonight," he said. "Do you want me to stay?"
"If you like." She didn"t want to dismay him by seeming too eager. But at once she saw the shadow in her room. "Please. Please stay," she said.
He gazed; she thought he wasn"t sure whether she wanted him. He mustn"t wonder about that. She would tell him all about Alastair. "I"ll tell you some things I haven"t told you," she said. "I"ll tell you tonight. Then you"ll understand me better."
He smiled slightly. "I"ve something to tell you, too." He moved away alongside the lake. "Until tonight," he said.
She ran home smiling. At last she dared think they might have more than half of a relationship. She would cook him meals instead of paying discreetly in restaurants. She could work without slowing to wonder whether she would see him today. She would be safe. Her smile carried her across the park.
She tidied her flat. G.o.d, what a mess she"d let acc.u.mulate! A poster mapping seventeenth-century Brichester, half-read books by Capote and D. H. Lawrence astray from the bookcases, notes for her own book tangled as the contents of a wastebasket: she"d be able to handle those soon. And all these letters she must answer. One from her publisher: the paperback edition was reprinting. One from the GPO about the delay in providing a telephone: it annoyed her not to be able to phone her friends in Camside-to invite them to meet James, she thought. One from a driving school, offering a free introductory lesson. If she learned to drive it would be worth her visiting friends in Camside: she wouldn"t be restricted by the absurdly early last bus back.
When she"d finished she felt exhausted. Her loss of sleep was gaining on her. She checked that the door and windows were locked, smiling: she wouldn"t need to do that in future. She"d make sure James stayed with her. She lay down on the couch, to rest.
She woke. The room was dark. But the darkness was shrinking. It had limbs and a head; it was walking on the wall, growing smaller yet closer to her. The ceiling thrust the head down at an angle that would have broken a man"s neck. The shadow slipped from the ceiling, yet the head stayed impossibly canted. As she realized that, the shadow was extinguished. At once she felt the man lying beside her. She had to struggle to look; her body felt somehow hampered. But he waited for her. When she turned the face rolled toward her above the emaciated body, like a derisive thick-tongued mask that was almost falling loose: Alastair"s face.
She woke gasping. The shadow filled the room; it had pressed against her eyes. She ran blindly to the door and s.n.a.t.c.hed at the light switch. The room was empty, there was n.o.body outside the window. Night had fallen hours ago; it was past eleven o" clock. James might have come and gone unheard.
Surely he would come back. Wouldn"t he? Mightn"t he have thought she"d reconsidered, that he"d been right to hear doubt in her voice when she had asked him to come to stay? Might he have taken this as the final rebuff?
She gazed into the mirror, distracted. She must wait outside, then he would know she wanted him. If he came back he mightn"t come as far as the door. She tugged at her hair with the brush, viciously. In the reflection of the room, a shadow pa.s.sed.
She turned violently. There had been a dark movement in the mirror. She felt vulnerable, disoriented by the stealthy fall of night, trapped in unreality. The shadow pa.s.sed again, dragging its stretched head across the ceiling. Betty ran to the window, but the street was empty. The streetlamp glowed in its lantern.
She couldn"t go out there-not until she saw who was casting the shadow. She gazed at the bare pavement, the flat stagnant pool of light. She was still gazing when something dark moved behind her, in the room.
She whipped about, gasping. The shadow was stepping off the edge of the wall, into invisibility. Soon it returned, smaller now, more rapid. Whenever she turned the street was deserted. The shadow repa.s.sed, restless, impatient. Each time it was smaller, more intense; its outline hardly vibrated now. Betty kept turning frantically. She heard her body sobbing, felt its dizziness. The shadow was only a little larger than a man; soon he would reach for her. It vanished from the wall, moving purposefully. Her doorbell shrilled, rattling.
Her cry was shrill too. For a moment she couldn"t move, then she ran into the hall. It must be James, or someone: not the shadow. The hall rumbled underfoot; the stairs loomed above her, swollen with darkness. She reached the front door and grabbed the light switch. The hall sprang back, bare, isolating her; a shadow stood on the front-door pane, irregular with frosting. She reached for the latch. She wished there were a chain. She opened the door a crack, wedging her toe beneath it, and saw James.
"Oh thank G.o.d. Come in, quickly." Behind him the street was empty. She pulled him in and slammed the door.
It wasn"t until she had locked them into her flat that she noticed he was carrying no luggage: only a large handbag. "You"re going to stay, aren"t you?" she pleaded.
Did she sound too eager? His face was calm, expressionless. "I suppose so," he said at last. "For a while."