Seem absurd, almost a paradox, but the greatest weak point of a p.o.r.no actor of my level is really the s.e.x!

When you have gotten used to do something as it was a mechanical action, of the repet.i.tive movements every day of your life, a job that for demand it plans yourself determined schemes in the mind, in the real life you don"t abandon these schemes, but you do everything as you have gotten used to daily do.

What does he/she want to say? He/she wants to say that when one like me broom with a girl, often, if not it always finds again him to live the s.e.x as, it was on the set.

Here there then that he starts to stantuffare, often also with violence, his/her own partner. Here that they start him to change four or five positions.

The arrival almost always had to be in face and not all they approve this kind of thing. If the girl found again him to the sudden one the face stained with sperm, you/he/she happened that you/he/she could be become rabid and accordingly me incazzavo also me, and we ended with to instigate an awful quarrel where I gave her some finicky puttana, and I told her that you/he/she would have had to grow before ripresentarsi to me.

Here that all becomes without feeling cold. By now I didn"t know how to make the love anymore, I swept and enough! Mine preliminary often reduced him to make to do me a pumps that so much that was enough for doing me him to come hard and to lick will pa.s.s her/it to dampen her/it to duty.

Embraces, kisses, whispers, words, tenderness, for me they didn"t exist anymore, I found her useless losses of time.

As they were of the losses of time the first appointments.

That is it is not, that I always think about the s.e.x, or better perhaps yes, but it is not that my life is done only and exclusively of that.

I also like to go out to dinner, to go to the cinema or things of the kind, only that before, during or after having done her it owes us to be the sweep, therefore if it happened that one per second or third appointment didn"t give her/it for me yet, I labeled her/it as sfigata and I sent her/it to cagare. I didn"t have time to lose with the prudes.

When you made yourself a blow and street with some stranger, it was also a beautiful experience. You amused you and it amused her. Me and as my colleagues swept there the girls out of the job, also and above all to have that sort of s.e.xual gratification that it missed us. All it takes is sweeping him a beautiful figa to be s.e.xually satisfied, it also needs to make to enjoy her/it and to boast himself/herself/themselves of this.

In our job the female o.r.g.a.s.m is rare commodity!

A lot of actresses also stop soon for that, because they risk to become frigid, incapable to try to like in the s.e.xual act.

Liked to me to sweep, also so much but the times that succeeded in letting your partner enjoying, those yes that they were stellar embraces!

For this we looked for other relaxations, to find some girls to satisfy, and the only way was to have some occasional meetings, even with some tipes that you/they knew very well who ditches. Cabbage, when reached therefore the they were so wet that would have come even if to my place there had been a cuc.u.mber!

When the meetings with the girls started to be more frequent and that mesettos or two lasted, and you swept at least for five days a week, here that the things drastically change.

No more it shouts to like, nothing more l.u.s.tful moans, did him before rather of the inflammations, of the small pains, of the various bothers.

My job was becoming a sentence.

I thought about stopping, I thought seriously it about the point that I gave me a stop for one period.

If my problem with the women derived from that, then was enough to eliminate my job and everything would be resolved!

Nothing more wrong.

The occasional meetings continued, and from those I didn"t expect a lot me. The girls that knew sooner or later started to always have with me the same problems, and in more I spent an exorbitant figure going to puttane!

I didn"t know how to make the love anymore, for me s.e.x existed, only the sweeps, the fottersi some dog!

The whole sweetness of the s.e.xual act that I succeeded in putting past into effect had disappeared, it didn"t come me more disposition and in certain moments I had neither the intention nor the ability to pretend.

I went just on as an animal, and I did him/it the more than I was able, looking for every evening a different puttana.

You try you to take you the habit to drink three or four coffees a day and then of blank point to abdicate entirely us.

You will have such a need of caffeine to be prepared to also make false papers to a.s.sume her/it.

The s.e.x for me was this way.

The evening I didn"t succeed in sleeping if had not done him, I turned me in the bed, was bombed by diecimila thoughts, I became impatient and didn"t serve to anything do me some saws, I had a desperate need of figa!

Me, among the paiddest stars to the world to sweep, I was reduced to pay for satisfying my desires.

Stuff not to believe us, so much was worth to return to my job.

Chapter 18.

Linda not takings very well mine, even though brief, withdrawal from the scenes.

He/she called me different times to insult me and to convince to return me, but by now I had taken that decision and n.o.body would have succeeded in making to change me mind.

If I/you had wanted to return, you/he/she would have been one decision of mine and enough.

Luckily his/her that decision didn"t delay very to arrive, my hunger of s.e.x you/he/she had to have fed the more possible and I was really tired to go with some puttanes.

Primo there was the risk that I/you was recognized and slandered on some newspaper scandalistico. According to, if there was a thing that I hated to death it was to sweep with the condom. I never did him/it, even during my occasional relationships, and thanks to this choice of mine some times have found to pay its consequences with of the ugly inflammations and some light venereal disease that it gave me the stop for a couple of months.

The world of the hard was surer. Besides the fact that you/they however forced us to make some very frequent controls, a lot of sott"occhio the matter of the hygiene was also held.

Every actor owed ta.s.sativamente to make himself/herself/themselves a shower before starting the resumptions.

When I warned Linda that would have taken back with the job for a little was not swept me in front of his/her boy!

It was to the seventh sky, however its euphoria was not for me, but for the money that be starts to reenter.

I restarted to the great one. In six months of stop it almost seemed that people had remained to fast of the daily own ration of p.o.r.no, because as soon as I returned I started to receive a country house of proposals and the earningses they were never so tall.

Many also started to insinuate that my stop had been alone an astute entrepreneurial movement, but it was not this way.

Done it is that I had more job in that period that in any other breaker of my life.

Mike Mitch.e.l.l had returned, and all wanted to see the part better than him!

Money"s hunger, and above all that period of abstinence that you/they had shown to Linda that everything would be been able to end from a moment to the other, they did of her a manager some most careful to the momentary collection that to the future good of my person.

Useless in fact to look for for years to work so that to create me a best future when this future would be been able to never arrive. It was very better to exploit the present the more possible.

The witticism of Linda became" few, accursed and immediately!"

I realized me that the things were changing.

Linda started to accept proposals that until then you/he/she had always sn.o.bbed.

Here that I started to turn for smaller houses, to make evenings in local bleak, to sweep me his wives of old impotent ricconi.

Anything happened her under hand she accepted him without thinking of us very, always admitted that it didn"t have under hand of the other more profitable.

After years when I was defined even an artist, I returned to be a simple puttana.

I only thought initially pits some managerial movement studied to tavolino that would have brought sooner or later me some good results. I didn"t have any motive to doubt of Linda; also with his/her recent problems of drug, before my stop you/he/she had never given signs of lack of professionalism on the job, for this I didn"t worry a lot me when that new contract introduced me. On the sheet that made me sign there was practically writing that from that moment you/he/she would have been her to accept or I lead the engagements that proposed me and that only she would have been able to sign to my name for the acceptance or the renouncement of a possible charge.

I was tied up for six months to her, I would totally have depended on his/her decisions, you/he/she would have been able to make to do me what wanted and if for some reason I/you had not respected the contract refusing some job for which she had signed to my place I would have run into a dizzying penalty that would economically have put me in knee.

I signed him/it thinking only pits a sort of caution respect about the fact that I/you was able again to abandon the scenes or something similar, not thinking that Linda could ever do something that went against my wish, and however you/he/she was a contract with the duration of a few months, pa.s.sed even the term you/he/she would have restarted to trust himself/herself/themselves me and there would not have been more need of any piece of paper authenticated by a notary.

I was wrong me of big.

Linda was deeply changed during my six months of stop. The fear to remain without money and without drugs was such to darken her completely the reason. Then his/her boy didn"t do anything else other than to incite her/it against me and to push to pick her/it up of the measures cautelative because after all, if everything was ended, indeed she would have succeeded also in rising again himself/herself/themselves plain pian, you/he/she was smart, but he was a failure of the peggior kind, so you/he/she had to try to sc.r.a.pe off the more possible the whole gold that had found in that mine.

To Linda it started to import only some his/her own profit, and to earn a lot the more in possible hurry it had to accept any job was offered her, also the bleakest. If to earn more some penny in had had to make a film where me inculavo a goat, would have been ready to furnish me the v.i.a.g.r.a and to get herself the animal to turn the scene.

The bond that was between me and her by now was broken forever, a thin white powder had taken its place.

Thanks to Linda by now I was plain pian losing credibility toward the people that worked in the environment.

Also because besides the fact that my last jobs were as soon as objectively of bad level and the data of the sales they became more and more miserable, there was also the fact that you/they started to often verify more and more him some disagreeable episodes: delays on the set owed to unbalanced schedules that Linda communicated me, or even the days or the places in which I would have had to introduce me was wrong at times.

Its brain was accusing the hit, he/she didn"t succeed in following the job anymore, and for guilt of its mistakes, of the signatures affixed well on contracts not studied for or of paid penalties for the uneasiness often caused by the delays more than to mostly earn us we risked to work free.

I could not continue this way. The contract that had made me sign had inserted me, made his/her slave. If I believed that the friendship that tied us and what we had pa.s.sed together prevented her from throwing me any type of left-handed draught, was wrong me to the great one.

I hoped that sooner or later he stopped, that understood that what was doing was even about to bring us to the downfall, but she didn"t understand and every time became worse and worse.

A point arrives in an artist"s career called the point of the I don"t return, old which know that from there it will be a whole descent and you cannot return in top anymore.

Linda came to make that point overcome me.

It was an evening as so many, I was on the couch of my house of it to watch a movie and to tracannare alcoolici become by now mine greatest and only friends.

My life was going to rolls and me I didn"t succeed in doing anything else other than to look while was happening.

The problems of the last times with Linda, my career that plain pian he was ruining, my incapabilities to live a relationship with a woman filled me the head of thoughts and the rule before when you are on the set it is to have otherwise the clear of mind risks that your friend fails.

It started to happen me. Me that I was called" the Italian stallion", as Rocky Balboa, so much that we also did the p.o.r.nographic parody of it, had now problems of erection.

At the end I succeeded in always ending the films since luckily where the desire and the imagination were not enough entered scene the chemistry!

The malelingues however in our world they are so many, my decline would be been able to mean the ascent of many, so it started to disperse himself/herself/themselves the voice of some defaillances of mine that you/they caused me other problems. You knows, an actor from the pea moscio doesn"t interest in anybody.

I tried to talk to Linda, I didn"t even succeed in arriving to her, he/she didn"t want anymore by now to have nothing to that to do with me, was his/her hen from the gold eggs, only that, and it interested only her that continued to produce her.

It beats too much a dog, and that will arrive sooner or later to snap at the hand of his/her/their master.

I was on the edge of a precipice, on one side there was Linda with a knife aimed verse of me, from the other one a jump of sixty meters. I would have had to choose which of the two to face.

Courage gave him/it for me her with the last engagement that gave me.

The producers by now he was getting tired of me, and they didn"t explain him how come I didn"t release that drugged crazy person of my manager, so all started to turn me the back.

I was however however a name, I had been the best, and I still made throat to many.

Goran Petrovic was one of those.

He/she offered a big figure to make a film with me, Linda it was thrown headfirst us.

When read the contract almost I didn"t believe in my eyes.

Petrovic was yes prepared to pay a big sum, but it didn"t do him/it certain for beneficienza.

What wanted was that I turned a scene gay in his/her film.

I remained of plaster. Apart the fact of the scene gay that I would never have never and then approved to do for my wish there was also a discourse of image behind everything that. If I/you had made a scene as that my name you/he/she would have entered to belong to a black list in halves hand the manufacturing circulating hard. I was the image of the virile and heteros.e.xual man, people saw my films and you/he/she came to my shows because she dreamt to be as me, if of blank point I/you had started to pick him/it up in the backside you/he/she would have been as to see the pope sweep him a chierichetto between a ma.s.s and the other, would have lost all of my credibility. Was inconceivable!

I got mad, I talked to Linda, I wanted some explanations and I would have had her.

Definite to receive me to his/her house, when I arrived I found her/it in a state of evident alteration, by now you/he/she had lost the control. His/her explanations or not explanations that dir is wanted, they were clear: or I accepted to do what she had decided, or you/he/she would have reduced me in underpantses, you/he/she would have removed from me up to the last cent, and you/he/she could do him/it.

I went away with the tail among the legs.

By now the situation it was clear, I had to face Linda if I didn"t want to fall in the canyon.

I didn"t sleep for two nights, I thought to as to do for freeing me of her, the contract that tied us spent time which would have lasted too much still completely destroyed my name.

I consulted lawyers, friends, interested producers to make to return me that of once. Nothing, to do, it held me for the b.a.l.l.s.

The only thing that I could hope was that it chopped off her the contract of his spontaneous wish or that it disappeared from the circulation from a moment to the other, and since Linda would never have destroyed that piece of paper with which you/he/she held me in fist, the only thing to be done was to think to as to kill her/it.

At times when someone makes your life a total country house, for a sort of self-defence, the brain, that would like somehow to free himself/herself/themselves from the fixed thought whose you ago star creates badly a series of images, you directly projects in your head, of as to resolve the problem that torments you.

Here there that I frequently dreamt to meet me with Linda, to ask not to ruin me to her the life, and to his/her refusal every time I killed her/it in violent way and every time in different way.

And the beautiful one is that I/you/he/she risk to convince you really that that would be the only possible solution.

Luckily I was desperate, depressed, but I still cure of mind.