If I"d seen a Chirp I"d have asked for help. There were ten varied aliens in the bar, all staring at me, most of them unfamiliar species. And Rory was at the service window. "Boss? Three silvers for the Wids, unless you"re-"

"Rory, take over." I didn"t like doing that. The Tavern can run a crew of up to six residents plus day help, but this year"s interstellar liner was a small one with less than a dozen pa.s.sengers. Miranda, on duty last night, was sleeping it off. Only Rory was on duty.

But Ha.s.s wasn"t the only one getting an intelligence test here. I donned an air filter and kept the stun. I walked down the stairs slowly, giving myself time to think.

I couldn"t just let Ha.s.s run loose here. My staff wears air filters when they come to the bas.e.m.e.nt for drinks and edibles. It was a maze even to me, but a maze of stocks for more than fifty alien varieties who had visited the tavern at various times. Most of what feeds one life-form would be poison to a score of others. Chemicals were in the air.

It was cold down here. Siberian temperatures are good for storing a lot of my stocks; others have to be chilled, heated, pressurized, or irradiated. I caught a whiff of Ha.s.s"s scent, but not enough to guide me. I followed a scuffling.

"Ha.s.s," I called, "how long is this likely to take?"

"A breeding maze? There is no telling. Hours or days, perhaps."

"Are you allowed to get help with this?"

Still unseen, Ha.s.s answered. "Any may help. This is a mating maze, not-" The translator hiccoughed. "-an entertainment. The stakes are the highest. If I can trust a companion, it speaks for my intelligence. If I choose one who will mock me, or a fool who will lead me astray, that speaks too."

"Okay."

"Rick, is the Draco Tavern a successful concern?"

I chuckled. "Yes." My My intelligence test. intelligence test.

"Good. I trace your scent and hers, and several other human and Chirpsithra. Does that match-"

"Chirpsithra come down here, sure. All my staff are human."

"And a Joker was here."

I"d been thinking about the Joker. Given what I knew now, he"d learned more last night than I was comfortable with. Time I found out something about him. I used my translator to call Shock Layer, Shock Layer, the Chirpsithra liner currently hovering near the Earth"s Moon. the Chirpsithra liner currently hovering near the Earth"s Moon.

I got an answering device. "I"ll talk to any member of the crew," I told it.

"Hi, Rick. The crew are dealing with internal matters. You have not clearance."

"Search the pa.s.senger lists for Jokers." I spelled it in the Chirp language, as best I could.

"Joker. One pa.s.senger, Hsenshesist Brill, adult male, restricted to ship."

"Hsenshesist is on Earth," I said.

"That information is restricted." Pause. "I have upgraded your clearance. Hsenshesist Brill has gone missing. Where is he now and what is he doing?"

"He"s in the vicinity of the Draco Tavern. He"s running a scheme of some kind. What are his capabilities?"

"It was not expected that he could board the lander. He is barred from Earth. We must upgrade his capability estimates. Keep me informed," the mechanism said.

I disconnected. I whispered to my translator to get a hologram map of the cellar. A skittering told me Ha.s.s was running above me along the stacks of boxes, left, down, left again and up and back toward me. I broke into a jog, the hologram glowing ahead of me like a complex flashlight beam.

"Your help has been of little use," Ha.s.s said. He was over my head.

"Slow down."

"Tenshir will not slow!"

"She"ll be faster than you. You have to stop to sniff. You"ll never catch up unless you guess where she"ll be. How would she break a scent trail? Can she fly?"

"No, not without an aircraft or lift belt. We do not use mechanical aids for this, barring what our hands can make. You see me naked, yes? She will be too."

"Can she jump long gaps?"

"She might make four meters. I would still scent her."

"Will she have help?"

"Hsenshesist Brill must have thawed us at the same time. The med system that held us was in the lander, and the scent led here. Snowfall might have disturbed the scent trail. Who would we meet on the path to the Draco Tavern? You," he answered himself: the obvious suspect. "And a female human server. Has Tenshir approached you?"

"No. And it"s Jennifer"s sleep cycle, and you didn"t come near her last night."

A long, low, modulated snarl. The translator said, "Did Tenshir speak to you of a stalker with rape in mind? And beg help?"

I repeated, "No."

"Last night, who else did we approach?"

"Things have been pretty dead this trip. There were only seven or eight customers last night, all at one table. Brill and his pets tried to join them, but they got yelled at."

"Do you think she"s alone, then? Rick!" His voice dropped as if she might be in earshot. "The toilets!"

"Right. Here, these steps lead out."

I store some stocks outside in the Siberian cold. Animals won"t come near the weirder chemicals, and the temperature stays low enough. Housing for human staff forms an arc partway around the dome. The toilets are outside too, completing more of the arc. store some stocks outside in the Siberian cold. Animals won"t come near the weirder chemicals, and the temperature stays low enough. Housing for human staff forms an arc partway around the dome. The toilets are outside too, completing more of the arc.

Ha.s.s dashed ahead of me.

"Humans have a poor sense of smell," I said.

"How I envy you." But Ha.s.s"s spongy tip of a nose was in the air. "Like a chemistry lab. These two booths are for Chirpsithra. This for several types; a Joker has used it. This one I could use, or Tenshir." He sniffed. "Tenshir has not used it. Some Tiktik have."

"How long can she hold her wastes?"

Ha.s.s spoke; the translator said, "Two days or longer." A sudden yip. "Rick! The ceiling!"

In the booth that a Pazensh might use, I looked up at an alien pictograph: a hundred tiny symbols arrayed in a near-ellipse. I said, "She didn"t use this booth except as a drop."

"She got in ahead of the Tiktik and hoped their smell would cover hers. My mate is clever."

"What"s it say?"

" "When zeeft fayristtent waves ... it"s a puzzle. It won"t work in your speech."

While he worked on the puzzle, I called Shock Layer Shock Layer again. "How often does a Joker need a toilet? Which toilet would he use?" again. "How often does a Joker need a toilet? Which toilet would he use?"

The answering device said, "A Joker must void liquid wastes once every three hours or so. Stony solids, up to ten standard days. Gullet stones, every five hundred days. Number hash mub delta." Fourth booth to my right. "Have you data for me, Rick?"

"He"s been here. What motivates a Joker? Why did this one board a Chirp ship, and why did they let him on?"

"Hsenshesist Brill is a famous xenopsychologist. Ship law restricts him because he runs uncomfortable experiments on sapient ent.i.ties, but his lectures rank high. Many will attend when he tells us what he has done on your world."

"What will he do? Knock down a building? Nuke a city and study the survivors?"

"He will do nothing harmful. Deaths would place him in a new category, outside the protection of citizenship. Hsenshesist Brill is not deemed mad."

"Good." What then? Would he start a career as an alien rock star and study the groupies? Go into politics? Crash the stock market? Smuggle something alien, like Glig medicines?

"Liquid wastes?" I asked, "Are they easy to track?"

"I have specs for your local toilets. He could use those."

Dammit. I disconnected. "Ha.s.s?"

"The puzzle is incomplete," Ha.s.s said. "It"s as if she stopped when almost finished. Why would she do that?"

"Drew the rest of it elsewhere." The ellipse of markings had a bite missing. "Fits here." I looked hard at the oddly configured bowl that was the centerpiece of the cubicle. Detergent spray from here, warm air from here, two-stage flush, outlet underneath. It was in my mind that if I wanted to hide a puzzle from a human woman, I"d draw it on the bottom of a toilet seat ... but I couldn"t see anything a.n.a.logous here.

The puzzle had me in thrall. I went outside. Piled snow allowed me to crawl onto the roof. The roof was covered with packed ice, and no patterns had been carved into it.

Ha.s.s wouldn"t carry a heater-no store-bought tools-but he might make a sc.r.a.per to get through this ice sheet to reveal a message. "Ha.s.s? You"ve been telling me she wants to be caught. We"re not looking for anything terribly difficult. Ha.s.s?"

Nothing. I got off the roof and looked into the cubicle. The Pazensh was gone.

So the question was, Did I want to lead Ha.s.s to Tenshir? We weren"t looking for the same thing. Puzzle aside, it wasn"t my species" problem. Further-despite the appearance that she"d left a message, it was still possible that Ha.s.s was a stalker.

What I wanted was to find the Joker. Whatever devilment Brill was planning on Earth, he"d played me for a fool last night.

He could use a men"s room, or a ladies", but he couldn"t pa.s.s for human. Where could he hide, and still accomplish anything?

We sometimes use pressure suits for a cleanup. I went back in and put one on. Now a Joker couldn"t smell me. I went back to the appropriate toilet, hash mub delta, and set a tiny security camera.

He"d need food ... but the age of terrorism has not quite faded. There were already cameras in the Tavern"s food preparation area.

It couldn"t be this straightforward. Think of something else.

I hadn"t needed to call Shock Layer. Shock Layer. All of my possible customers are in my registry before they ever reach the Tavern ... but Brill wasn"t supposed to have come here at all. Hmm? I used the translator to look him up, and there he was. All of my possible customers are in my registry before they ever reach the Tavern ... but Brill wasn"t supposed to have come here at all. Hmm? I used the translator to look him up, and there he was.

Physiologically and chemically, Brill was a tee tee arrowhead slant ool, which meant he"d have to carry supplements: pills or a needle. Otherwise he could get what he wanted at any market. Of course any market clerk would see him for an alien. He wouldn"t be too conspicuous if he stayed in the Mount Forel s.p.a.ceport area, unless someone called the cops. Me or any Chirpsithra officer. Could he risk that?

Aliens did often possess special, valuable knowledge. If Brill left the Mount Forel area, he might persuade someone that he had, say, the secret of immortality. h.e.l.l, it might be true: he might have got it from a Glig. So someone outside might hide him- But what did he want with the Pazensh?

For the first time I wondered if Brill might have taken the Pazensh female. (For what?) And left Ha.s.s behind. (Why?) But if there were a scheme involving the Pazensh, he"d have to hang around. (Where?) Actually-to a Joker, that might have an answer.

I stripped off my pressure suit behind the bar. "Rory? How"s it go?" stripped off my pressure suit behind the bar. "Rory? How"s it go?"

"Rick, the Wids want to try sparkers. Shall I? I thought sparkers were just for Chirpsithra."

"Sure, and alcohol is just for humans, but a lot of aliens want to try liqueurs. I always, always check their registry." I reset the translator. "There. Wids are ahn tee hatch nex zep. It won"t injure them." They wouldn"t like it, though.

He took a couple of sparkers and went, and noticed I was following him. Under a sound suppressor I stopped him. "Rory, you weren"t in last night. There was a Joker name of Brill. It"s a fugitive."

"Isn"t that up to the Chirps?"

"If I"m right, it"s our problem too. I"m going back to my room. If anything more goes wrong, call Shock Layer. Shock Layer. This is what you tell them ..." This is what you tell them ..."

Rooms for the staff are roomy enough, and the communal complex includes a pool, some exercise equipment, stuff you"d expect at a mid-level hotel. There"s also quite a lot of security stuff. Staff knows and accepts that I can use a screen in my room to spy on them to a certain extent. Brill would not.

Brill had learned that most of the staff complex was empty. Of course he could be hiding on the endless miles of tundra; but where was the humor in that? And Jokers like it warm. Hiding in the staff complex would be a fine joke on me.

Where? Another species might have chosen the pool or spa.

He might have captured Miranda and taken her room, if he thought she might stumble across him.

I"d told Brill about Jehaneh. My bet was that he was in her room: my own mate"s room.

I hesitated outside the door to my apartment, stun in hand. Opened the door and, for an instant, froze. Another Pazensh was there, partly embedded in something like lime Jell-O. Tenshir wriggled, and I swung left and right with my stun held high, and Brill"s stun got me first.

I was still standing up, stun held high, every muscle rigid in spasm. I concentrated on breathing. It was too slow.

The spindly green-and-white Joker eeled out from under my breakfast table and looked me over. The grin didn"t change, and he didn"t laugh. He stepped toward my door and I heard it close and lock. Something flew past my ear. I heard two solid impacts, one as it hit, one as he fell.

Ha.s.s ran past me. I heard another thud, and more. If Ha.s.s could have used my stun, Brill would have been a lot better off.