"What happened then?"

"He started searching. He was trying to find the neutrino trail from Quark Mapping. Quark Mapping. First we went to a view of nothing but galaxies. Flat s.p.a.ce, he said. That didn"t do it. He took us to other domains, black holes, peculiar galaxies, always getting more and more lost. First we went to a view of nothing but galaxies. Flat s.p.a.ce, he said. That didn"t do it. He took us to other domains, black holes, peculiar galaxies, always getting more and more lost.

"G.o.d, it was all wonderful! But it took weeks or months to get anywhere. The displays didn"t usually show normal s.p.a.ce, normal suns and planets, or starscapes at all. Vanayn spent some time fiddling with my life support until I could get food-tee tee hatch nex ool means it won"t kill me, whatever it tastes like, but I had to explain about vitamins and fiber. He showed me how to use his library. I did some research. Eventually I could read some of his displays.

"He was looking for the point in s.p.a.cetime from which we"d left. It was the only way we could get back into the universe."

"Were you worried?"

"Scared out of my mind, at first. I was watching my life disappear. Vanayn never did consider himself lost. He was "having an adventure." I got on his nerves. Eventually Vanayn stopped talking to me.

"Then I kind of settled into the routine. I learned a lot from Vanayn"s library. It was my only friend. It"s sapient, near as I can tell. It taught me how to fiddle with the paste dispenser so I could get some variety into my diet. I made some changes in the medical system too. I invented two or three chemicals that would have a decent street value if I could manufacture them. After a while the library cut me off and made me sober up.

"I don"t know how Vanayn worked out how to get us back. If that first planet really was Saturn a million years ago, or a million from now, or fifty, and if he figured that out ... anyway, he still wasn"t talking to me. He got us back to the Moon, and then he just pulled me into the gig and took us home."

"Wonderful," Cheri Kaylor said.

"Lettuce," I said. "David? When you get a minute, get me any kind of salad. I haven"t eaten anything normal since ... I still can"t tell."

Magliocco hadn"t said anything this whole time, but now he was looking at me like some sort of strange bug. He said, "It should have been me."

Cheri gave him a look: Idiot! Idiot! He ignored her. "I"ve got credentials in cosmology and astronomy. He showed you sights the rest of the human race might never know. I might even have figured out what he was doing! Why a bartender?" He ignored her. "I"ve got credentials in cosmology and astronomy. He showed you sights the rest of the human race might never know. I might even have figured out what he was doing! Why a bartender?"

"I was the wrong man," I admitted. "You, Dr. Kaylor, any human being in here would have been a better choice. I just hate being lost."

I looked around at the evening crowd, a dozen a.s.sorted sizes and shapes, a whispering background of alien buzzes and clicks and screeching, seven or eight species from hundreds of light-years around. "I"m glad to be home."

LOSING MARS.

The latest crop of visitors to Earth came rolling across the tundra: four shapeless bean bags glowing like psychedelic rainbows. They formed a queue and rolled through one of the low-and-wide airlocks, into the Draco Tavern. Two Chirpsithra turned from the bar and watched them approach.

It had been a quiet afternoon.

I spoke to the first bag to reach the bar. "Welcome to the Draco Tavern. What can I do for you?"

An insert on the bag spoke in the soft accents of a standard Chirpsithra translator system. "We seek to speak to any representative of the United Nations."

"There aren"t any in tonight," I said. There rarely were, though it"s not unheard of. "Is this urgent?"

"Of huge import, but our timeline is flexible," said another of the bags. "Rick Schumann the barkeep, can you contact the United Nations for us?"

"I can find somebody." I still had phone and e-mail codes for Cheri Kaylor and Carlos Magliocco.

"That is well. The Chirpsithra have demanded too high a fee as mediators. Would you accept two-to-the-twentieth part of what we deal for?"

Less than a millionth? "I have no idea. What are we dealing for?"

"Mars."

I tapped out what Dr. Kaylor had scrawled on her card, and got her voice mail. "Cheri Kaylor. Leave your name, number, and vital statistics. An Arab slavemaster will contact you shortly." tapped out what Dr. Kaylor had scrawled on her card, and got her voice mail. "Cheri Kaylor. Leave your name, number, and vital statistics. An Arab slavemaster will contact you shortly."

That could hardly be her business office, I thought. "Rick Schumann, Draco Tavern. Some of my visitors have a strong interest in talking United Nations business-"

"Worth a trip to Siberia?" Dr. Kaylor had picked up.

"Worth more than that, I gather. I don"t have the full details yet. Shall I call Mr. Magliocco too?"

"No, hold up, Rick. I"m actually in Siberia, in a bathtub at the Mount Forel Hotel. We can get Carlos involved if this looks interesting. Who"s talking? What do they look like? Where are they from?" She sounded cheerful and intrigued.

"They haven"t said. They"re in full pressure gear. I think they"re fish."

"Give me half an hour. I"ll have an Irish coffee."

I hung up, wondering why she didn"t want Magliocco. A bit of work-related rivalry?

Until the first alien lander came down thirty-six years ago, the United Nations had spent most of its time in internal bickering and grand theft. These days they presented more of a united front. Cheri Kaylor and Carlos Magliocco dealt with people like me, people who dealt directly with aliens.

The life-support bags were arrayed at a big table with two Chirpsithra and a bearlike creature who had walked down from the lander with not even an extra coat. Wen Goldsmith took their orders. The bags wanted water, any interesting flavor.

Okay, I"d guessed they were water dwellers. I poured them pitchers of tap water and glacier water to get them started, and I joined the circle. "Mars," I said.

"We are not involved," one of the Chirpsithra said. The other said, "We may be asked to judge."

One of the bags said, "We should wait for an official, should we not?"

"Dr. Kaylor will be here shortly," I said.

Another bag said, "We have no secrets. What would you have of us? We look like this." A picture formed on the bag"s side: a deep sea eel with long, elaborated fins manipulating a keyboard, goggle eyes and prominent pink gills. "We dare not make this envelope transparent. There"s too much light."

"You tell too much," the first bag said.

"They have not hidden themselves."

"I concede." The first bag showed a picture too, another deep sea eel, but with blue gills.

Dr. Kaylor came in. I"d never been sure of her rank, so I didn"t give it. She sat at one of the floating chairs, fl.u.s.tered but not showing it much. "Welcome to the local neighborhood," she said.

"We are local indeed," Blue Gills said. "Neighbors. We are from Mars."

"Evolved on Europa," said Pink Gills.

"Colony established some thirty thousand years ago," said a third bag: Bronze Gills. The fourth still hadn"t shown itself.

"Jupiter orbits, not Earth orbits."

"Are you aware of a near-frozen sea lying beneath the soil of Mars?"

"It covers near a hundred thousand square kilometers."

They waited. Dr. Kaylor said, "Yes, in Elysium, near the equator. We think the dust keeps it from evaporating."

Blue Gills said, "Dust and rubble, then dust compressed to cement, then pack ice, then solid ice. The Elysium Sea is well protected from loss of water vapor. Liquid water beneath. Conditions are very like those beneath the ice of Europa-"

"The increase in gravity is hard to notice." Pink Gills.

"Pressure increases faster with depth." Bronze Gills.

"But that"s as well, as the Elysium Sea is more shallow."

Bronze Gills said, "Of course the taste of the water is quite different. A bit of planet-shaping was needed, and still the taste-"

"We prefer it." Blue Gills.

"Barkeep, these are interesting flavors," Pink Gills said. "What else have you?"

"Want to try something carbonated? Cheri, I"ll get your Irish coffee."

When I came back one of the bags was saying, "Years ago. Here a probe, there a probe, descended on Mars with no clear method or pattern. Some stayed in orbit, some landed, some struck hard. Half of them destroyed themselves or failed to send a signal. We saw a similarity in design and guessed that they were from the inner world."

"Yes, those were ours," Dr. Kaylor said.

"Then they stopped," said Blue Gills. "Nothing since three years ago. What happened?"

Cheri didn"t speak, so I said, "The Chirpsithra ships started coming. We"ve learned more about the universe since then than throughout our whole history."

"But you ceased to explore Mars. Or did you cease entirely to explore?"

An uncomfortable silence. Cheri asked, "Did you come here in your own ship?"

Blue Gills said, "No! We feared you would take such as an invasion or violation of territory. When a Chirpsithra lander approached us, we concluded that we would be accepted as their guests. We come regarding a matter of territory, after all."

"Who owns Mars?" Pink Gills demanded.

"Well," said Cheri, "I don"t speak for the United Nations. I can bring this to Hermes Padat, I think." The Secretary General.

Bronze Gills asked, "Can we settle this quickly? I myself dwell on Europa. Life support is a problem here. Too much gravity, too little pressure."

"Oh, no, a case like this could take years," Cheri said. "I should try to call the Secretary General."

In a stunned silence we watched Cheri dial.

One of the Chirpsithra said, "No. I think we can decide more quickly than that. We hold authority in this part of s.p.a.ce. Dr. Kaylor, do you claim Mars?"

"Of course. It"s our next-door neighbor, the nearest planet, much closer to us than Jupiter is."

"Do you currently build ships capable of reaching Mars?"

She swallowed. "Ah ... no."

"Has any human being ever set foot on this neighbor planet?"

"No. We would have, but you came. You already own most of s.p.a.ce, most of the galaxy. You"ve said so yourselves."

"Rick? Would you have gone to Mars if we had left you alone?"

When I was a boy, we had gone to the Moon, and come home, and stopped. Mars had changed whenever someone looked again, and always there was talk of putting a man there some day.

"I"m not sure."

"Fsst! I give Mars to the Europan colonists."

Cheri gulped. She said, "We will protest the decision."

"You have that right. Submit your protest to the ship, to Safe Orbits, Safe Orbits, before our departure sixty-one days from today. Rick, bring us sparkers." before our departure sixty-one days from today. Rick, bring us sparkers."

The rest stayed at the table, but Cheri Kaylor followed me to the bar. I asked, "Another drink?"

She spoke in a suppressed wail. "I"ve lost Mars!"

"Irish coffee?"

"What do I tell Hermes Padat? They"ll never react in time. The UN can"t decide to order dinner in sixty-one days! I"ve lost Mars! Yes, Irish coffee."

I talked while I worked. "Not by yourself. You didn"t lose Mars without help. Mars has been there all along. For hundreds of years we"ve known we could get there. For fifty years we"ve even known how. It just wasn"t important enough to enough people. We never had Mars in the first place."

"They aren"t even Martians. I wouldn"t mind being kicked off by Martians."

"They didn"t seem to mind the probes. Maybe they"ll want want visitors." visitors."

"And if they don"t?"