"Do you think I will be forgiven like this?" he cried, recklessly. "I don"t want your mercy! I won"t take it! If you won"t speak, I shall!"
Vincent had not expected any resistance from Mark, and this outburst, which was genuine enough, showed that he was not utterly beneath contempt, even then.
Holroyd"s manner was less harsh and contemptuous when he next spoke:
"It"s no use, Ashburn," he said firmly; "it"s too late for all that now--you _must_ accept it!"
"I shall not," said Mark again. "I"ve been a scoundrel, I know, but I"ll be one no longer; I"ll tell the truth and give you back your own.
I will do what"s right at last!"
"Not in that way," said Vincent; "I forbid it. I have the right to be obeyed in this, and you shall obey me. Listen to me, Ashburn; you can"t do this--you forget Mabel. You have made her love you and trust her happiness to your keeping; your honour is hers now. Can"t you see what shame and misery you will plunge her in by such a confession? It may clear your conscience, but it must darken her life--and that"s too heavy a price to pay for such a mere luxury as peace of mind."
"How can I go on deceiving her?" groaned Mark; "it will drive me mad!"
"It will do nothing of the sort!" retorted Holroyd, his anger returning; "I know you better--in a couple of days it won"t even affect your appet.i.te! Why, if I had not come over here, if I had gone out again to India as you hoped I should, you were prepared to go on deceiving her--your mind kept its balance well enough then!"
Mark knew this was true, and held his tongue.
"Think of me as safe in India, then," Vincent continued more quietly.
"I shall trouble you quite as little. But this secret is mine as well as yours--and I will not have it told. If you denounce yourself now, who will be the better for it? Think what it will cost Mabel.... You _do_ love her, don"t you?" he asked, with a fierce anxiety; "you--you have not married her for other reasons?"
"You think I am too bad even to love honestly," said Mark, bitterly; "but I do."
"Prove it then," said Vincent. "You heard her pleading on the bridge for the woman who would suffer by her husband"s shame; she was pleading for herself then--and not to me only, to you! Have pity on her; she is so young to lose all her faith and love and hope at once.
You can never let her know what you have been; you can only try to become all she believes you to be."
In his heart, perhaps, Mark was not sorry to be convinced that what he had resolved to do was impossible. The high-strung mood in which he had been ready to proclaim his wrong-doing was already pa.s.sing away.
Vincent had gained his point.
"You are right," Mark said slowly; "I _will_ keep it from her if I can."
"Very well," Vincent answered, "that is settled then. If she asks you what has pa.s.sed between us, you can say that I have told you my story, but that you are not at liberty to speak of it. Mabel will not try to know more. Stay, I will write a line" (and he went to the corner of the street and wrote a few words on a leaf from his notebook). "Give that to her," he said as he returned. "And now I think we"ve nothing more to say."
"Only one other thing," stammered Mark; "I must do this.... When they--they published your book they paid me.... I never touched the money. I have brought it with me to-night; you must take it!" and he held out a small packet of notes.
Vincent turned haughtily away. "Excuse me," he said, "it is not mine; I will have nothing to do with it. Under the circ.u.mstances, you can"t expect me to touch that money. Keep it; do what you choose with it."
"I choose this, then!" said Mark, violently, and tearing the notes up, he flung them over the railings to drift down on the rocks or into the tossing grey foam beyond.
"You need not have done that," said Holroyd, coldly; "there were the poor. But just as you please!" and he made a movement as if to go.
Mark stopped him with a gesture.
"Are you going like this?" he said, and his voice trembled. "If you knew all I felt, even you might pity me a little! Can"t you forgive?"
Vincent turned. "No," he said, shortly, "I can"t. I put temptation in your way, and though I never dreamed then that it could be a temptation to you, I could have forgiven you for giving way to it when you believed me dead. But I came back, and you went on with it; you lied to me--more, you dared to marry _her_, without a care for the shame and sorrow, which was all you had to bring her. If I said I forgave you for that, it would be a mockery. I don"t, and I can"t!"
"I see," said Mark. "When we meet again we are to be strangers, then?"
"No," said Vincent; "if we meet we must do so as ordinary acquaintances--for Mabel"s sake. But there are no appearances to keep up here. Can"t you see I want to be left to myself?" he asked, with a sudden burst of nervous irritation.
"Have your way then?" said Mark, and left him there by the railings.
Mark"s first feelings as he walked slowly back up the little street where the little shops were all shuttered and dark now, were by no means enviable; he felt infinitely mean and small in his own eyes, and shrank from entering Mabel"s presence while his nerves were still crawling under the scorching contempt of Vincent"s dismissal. If, during the interview, there had been moments when he was deeply contrite and touched at the clemency so unexpectedly shown him, the manner of his pardon seemed to release him from all obligations to grat.i.tude--he had only been forgiven for another"s sake; and for a time he almost loathed so disgraceful an immunity, and felt the deep humiliation of a sentence that condemned him "to pay the price of lies by being constrained to lie on still." But by degrees, even in that short walk, his elastic temperament began to a.s.sert itself; after all, it might have been worse. He might by now have been drifting, dead and disfigured, down the river to Basle; he might have been going back to Mabel with the fearful necessity upon him of telling her all that night. One person knew him, and despised him for what he was; but that person would never tell his secret. That painful scene which had just pa.s.sed would never have to be gone through again; he could think of it as a horrible dream. Yes, he was safe now, _really_ safe this time.
His position was far more secure than when he had read that telegram of Caffyn"s; and here he wondered, for the first time, whether Caffyn had been deliberately misled or only mistaken in sending such a delusive message. But that did not very much matter now, and he soon abandoned speculation on the subject. He had much to be thankful for; his future was free from all danger. He had had a severe lesson, and he would profit by it; henceforth (with the one necessary reservation) he would be honest and true--Mabel should never repent her trust in him. "Sweet Bells Jangled" would be before the world by the time they returned, and after that he feared nothing. And so, though he was subdued and silent on his return, there was no other trace in his manner of what he had suffered during the last hour. He found Mabel by the window of their sitting-room, looking out at the houses across the river, which were now palely clear in the cold moonlight, their lights extinguished, and only a pane glittering here and there in some high dormer window, while the irregular wooden, galleries and hanging outhouses were all thrown up vividly by the intense shadows.
"What a very long time you have been away!" she said; "but I know Vincent can be very pleasant and interesting if he likes."
"Very," said Mark, and gave her Holroyd"s note.
"I leave here early to-morrow for Italy," she read, "and may not see you again for some little time. I have told your husband my story, but, on consideration, have thought it best to pledge him to tell no one--not even you. But the man who injured me shall be safe for your sake."
"You _did_ persuade him, then!" she said, looking up gratefully to Mark. "Oh, I am glad! How good you are, and how well you must have spoken, dear, to make him give up his idea of punishing the man! So Vincent is going away at once. Do you know I am afraid I am rather glad?"
And Mark made no answer; what was there to say?
Vincent stood there by the railings on the Laufenplatz for some time after Mark had left him; he was feeling the reaction both in mind and body from his recent conflict. "How will it all end?" he asked himself wearily. "Can any good come from letting this deceit go on? Is he strong enough to carry out his part? If not, the truth will only come at last, and be even more cruel when it does come." Yet he had done what still seemed the obvious and only thing to do, if Mabel"s happiness was considered. He was ashamed even that he had not seen it earlier, and trembled as he remembered that only a providential chance had restrained him from some fatal disclosure to Mabel that afternoon on the bridge. But at least he had acted for the best, and he would hope for it.
Thinking thus, he recrossed the river to Klein-Laufingen, where a mounted German officer, many sizes too big for the little street, was rousing it from its first slumber as he clattered along, with his horse"s hoofs striking sparks from the rough cobbles, and pa.s.sed under the old gateway, where his accoutrements gleamed for an instant in the lamplight before horse and rider vanished in the darkness beyond.
Vincent pa.s.sed out, too, out on the broad white road, and down the hill to his homely _Gasthaus_. He felt weak and very lonely--lonelier even than when he had parted from Mabel long ago on the eve of his Ceylon voyage. He could hope then; now he had lost her for ever!
Still, one of his wishes had been granted--he had been able to be of service to her, to make some sacrifice for her dear sake. She would never know either of his love or his sacrifice, and though he could not pretend that there was no bitterness in that, he felt that it was better thus. "After all," he thought, "she loves that fellow. She would never have cared for me." And there was truth in this last conclusion. Even if Mabel and Mark had never met, and she could have known Vincent as he was, the knowledge might not have taught her to love. A woman cannot give her heart as a _prix Montyon_, or there might be more bachelors than there are.
CHAPTER x.x.xV.
MISSED FIRE!
It was an evening early in May, and Harold Caffyn was waiting at Victoria for the arrival of the Dover train, which was bringing back Mark and Mabel from the Continent. This delicate attention on his part was the result of a painful uncertainty which had been vexing him ever since the morning on which he read Vincent"s farewell note at Wast.w.a.ter. "It is a poor tale," as Mrs. Poyser might say, to throw your bomb and never have the satisfaction of hearing it explode--and yet that was his position; he had "shot his arrow into the air," like Longfellow; but, less fortunate than the poet, he was anything but sure that his humble effort had reached "the heart of a friend." Now he was going to know. One thing he had ascertained from the Langtons--Vincent Holroyd had certainly followed the couple to Laufingen, and they had seen him there--Harold had found Mrs. Langton full of the wonderful news of the return of the dead. But nothing had come of it as yet; if there was a sensation in store for the literary world, Mabel"s letters apparently contained no hint of it, and for a time Caffyn felt unpleasantly apprehensive that there might have been a hitch somehow in his admirable arrangements. Then he reflected that Mabel would naturally spare her mother as long as possible; he would not believe that after all the trouble he had taken, after Holroyd had actually hunted down the culprit, the secret could have been kept from her any longer. No, she must know the real truth, though she might be proud enough to mask her sufferings while she could. But still he longed for some visible a.s.surance that his revenge had not unaccountably failed; and, as he had ascertained that they were to return on this particular evening, and were not to be met except by the Langton carriage, it occurred to him that here would be an excellent opportunity of observing Mabel at a time when she would not imagine it necessary to wear a mask. He would take care to remain unseen himself; a single glance would tell him all he needed to know, and he promised himself enjoyment of a refined and spiritual kind in reading the effects of his revenge on the vivid face he had loved once, and hated now with such malignant intensity. The train came in with a fringe of expectant porters hanging on the footboards, and as the doors flew open to discharge a crowd, flurried but energetic, like stirred ants, even Caffyn"s well-regulated pulse beat faster.
He had noticed Champion waiting on the platform and kept his eye upon him in the bustle that followed; he was going up to a compartment now--that must be Mark he was touching his hat to as he received directions; Caffyn could not see Mark"s face yet as his back was towards him, but he could see Mabel"s as she stepped lightly out on the platform--there was a bright smile on her face as she acknowledged the footman"s salute, and seemed to be asking eager questions. Caffyn felt uncomfortable, for there was nothing forced about her smile, no constraint in her eyes as she turned to Mark when they were alone again, and seemed to be expressing her eager delight at being home again. And Mark, too, had the face of a man without a care in the world--something must have gone wrong, terribly wrong, it was clear!
They were coming towards him; he had meant to avoid them at first, but now his curiosity would not allow this, and he threw himself in their way, affecting an artless surprise and pleasure at being the first to welcome them back. Mark did not appear at all disconcerted to see him, and Mabel could not be frigid to anybody just then in the flush of happy expectation, which she did not try to conceal; altogether it was a bitter disappointment to Caffyn.
He quite gasped when Mark said, with a frank unconsciousness, and without waiting for the subject to be introduced by him, "Oh, I say, Caffyn, what on earth made you think poor old Vincent was going back to India at once? He"s not going to do anything of the kind; he"s wandering about the Continent. We knocked up against him at Laufingen!"
Caffyn gave a searching look at Mabel"s sweet, tranquil face, then at Mark"s, which bore no sign of guilt or confusion. "Knocked up against you!" he repeated; "why--why, didn"t he _expect_ to find you there, then?"
Mabel answered this: "It was quite an accident that he stopped at Laufingen at all," she said; "he was going on to Italy."
Caffyn did not give up even then--he tried one last probe: "Of course," he said; "I forgot, your husband kept him so completely in the dark about it all--eh, Mark? Why, when you got him to come down to Wast.w.a.ter with me, he had no idea what festivities were in preparation--had he?"
"No, my boy," said Mark, with a perfectly natural and artistic laugh; "I really don"t believe he had--you mustn"t be shocked, darling," he added to Mabel; "it was all for his good, poor fellow. I must tell you some day about our little conspiracy. It"s all very well for you, though," he turned to Caffyn again, "to put it all on to me--you had more to do with it than I--it was your own idea, you know!"
"Oh!" said Caffyn; "well, if you like to put it in that way----." He lost his self-possession completely--there was something in all this he could not at all understand.