The next day, I return to school.

"Jessy girl, where are you staying now?" Kate asks.

"My mom"s parents." I answered.

"Jes!" I was startled when Brix suddenly appear in front of me.

"Oh, Brix?"

"Are you okay?" he ask worriedly. Then I nodded.

"Do you want me to send you home?" he offer.

"Sure." I answered.

We are now going to Brix car when I heard someone honk us, when I turned it"s–

"Dad?" I said in confusion.

Why is he here? I know why, he is fetching me.

"It"s my dad. Brix ,I"m sorry, but I have to go with my dad." I said.

"Okay, take care." Brix said then we smiled at each other.

I open the door of the car and entered the pa.s.senger seat and put the seat belt.

"Who"s that guy, your boyfriend?" Dad ask then he started the car.

Now he is trying to have a conversation with me. "No."

"Then who is he? Why is he with you?"

And now look who"s talking! "A friend."

"Okay. So you know how to drive a car?"

And now what is his point? "Yeah."

"Of course you know, you"re joining illegal car racing right?"

Now you want me to realize that you"ve cared for me? "Yeah."

"And you got on jail and you do more stupid things especially in your school, even in your study your neglecting it."

How dare you say like that to me!

"Then I"m going to hear that your house is on fire? You neglected your brother, and Also Kristoff is also stubborn and even tried to cook."

Stop talking!

"You are both so stubborn, maybe Christine don"t discipline the two of you well!"

Stop it! You"re so annoying!

♬♪I lose my way and it"s not long before you point it out♪♬

What I"m feeling right now? I want to cry but I don"t want to, I just making myself numb to all the things that he said now because I don"t want to be weak in front of him. I am just staying silent even though I wanted to shout at him now, that feeling that whoever it is I can be strong but why when it comes to him I am shrinking and cowering?

♬♪I cannot cry because I know that"s the weakness in your eyes♪♬

When we arrive, he entered and meet mom.

"What are you doing here again? You"re with Jessy?" Mom said angrily.

"Well, for your information Christine, she"s still my daughter, I"m just fetching Jessy from her school." Dad answered.

♬♪I"m forced to fake, a smile, a laugh, everyday of my life♪♬

Seeing them both fighting again made me feel like I went back again to the time when I was seven years old. I was crying then while they are fighting.

♬♪My heart can"t possibly break when it wasn"t even whole to start with♪♬

"SHUT THE F*CK UP!" I shouted loudly to them making them stop, even Kristoff went out from his room.

"See? You didn"t raise her well! You just heard how she talk to us!" Dad angrily shouted to mom.

"You don"t have the right to say that to me!" mom shouted to dad.

"Are you shock?" I said to dad, all of them look at me.

"Why am I like this? Why are wondering, were you even here? You weren"t, right?" I said then entered the storage room and lock it.

I don"t know why I even think to go here. Is t because he is here? Allen.

I am sitting on the floor and hugging my legs while my head is on my knees.

♬♪Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk♪♬

And I started to cry.

I am crying silently, the type that you can"t hear anything, my tears just continue to flow but not even a sob in my voice. I can"t breath, I feel that I"m alone now. What I feel before, I feel it again now. Worst nightmare that I thought I had already awaken but I"m still having that nightmare now.

♬♪Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don"t get hurt.♪♬

"Jessy?" such a nice feeling to listen.

"Are you okay?" A voice that came behind me.

"Are you crying?" It"s getting nearer.

I look at him, I feel even more weaker, my tears flow even more when I saw him again. I stand up and hug him suddenly.

♬♪Because of you I find hard to trust not only me but everyone around me♪♬

[Allen]

She is crying while hugging me, I don"t know why. But I only saw her now being like that and I feel that I"m hurt.

♬♪Because of you… I am afraid♪♬

But why?

What happened?

I"m p.i.s.sed that I don"t know what happened.

We lie on the bed, it"s only wood because the mattress was burnt. I am looking at her while she is looking at the ceiling in daze and her tears still continued to flow that"s why I wipe it using my fingers.

"Jessy are you okay?" I heard Kristoff knock but Jessy is still not moving.

"Jessy." I called her in a weak voice.

"He is the first man that made me cry." She said while still looking at the ceiling.

"He is the first man that hurt me." Her tears flows even more.

♬♪I watched you die, I heard you cry every night in your sleep♪♬

Who is she referring to?

"The first man that I love, my hero and the man that I admire." She said then suddenly look to me.

"He is my first to all! I said that if he come back he"ll regret it, he"ll feel hurt. But why is that I"m still the one who lose?" And there she sob and hug me again.

♬♪I was so young, you should have known better than to lean on me♪♬

"He is my dad! It"s supposed to be that he will the last and impossible to hurt and make me cry?"

So her dad is the reason.

I hug her. Her dad is the reason why she is hurting, that at the beginning that"s what she is crying for.

♬♪You never thought of anyone else you just saw your pain♪♬

"I don"t know what to say but as long as you need me, I"m here for you, I promise." I said then I hug her tightly.

Her head is on my arm, she facing me while her hands are covering her face. I"m just hugging her because I know that she need to let it all out.

♬♪And now I cry in the middle of the night for the same d.a.m.n thing♪♬

I know that she don"t need advice, what she needs is a person that will listen to her and be with her.

[Jessy]

When I woke up, what greeted me was Allen"s face. He is still sleeping and embracing me. I suddenly smile but my tears suddenly flow when I remember that he also hurt me.

What am I doing here? Hurting myself? Your so stupid Jessy!

I wiped my tears and remove his arm that"s embracing me, then I got up and went out of the room. The house is so quiet, I saw mom in the kitchen, and Monggi is at the table and eating.

My eyes are hurting, I think it"s swollen. I went in my room, take a bath, then I left the ouse and wen to Steph"s place. I waited until evening then we went to the race track.

"I wanna race. Can I borrow your car again?" I ask Steph.

"No Jessy, you"re not okay, let"s just watch. " Steph said.

"No, I"ll race." Then I went to other and borrow their car.

"Get down there, Jessy!" Steph shouted while looking at the window of the car that I"m riding.

READY. GET SET. GO!

♬♪Because of you I never stray too far from the side walk. Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don"t get hurt♪♬

When I heard that, I hurriedly drive the car, I surpa.s.s my opponent. I"m so far away from him that the difference is so obvious.

♬♪Because of you I tried my hardest just to forget everything. Because of you I don"t know how to let anyone else in♪♬

I don"t know what suddenly entered my mind, I"m just looking on a wall and drive the car faster until I collide there.

♬♪Because of you I"m ashamed of my life because it"s empty. Because I am afraid♪♬

Black out.

♬♪Because of you… because of you!♪♬

[Brix]

"Brix, Jessy is on the race and she"s not okay!" Steph said to me in frenzy.

I just came here, I also become frantic that’s why I immediately went to my car and follow Jess.

Sht! She drive so fast!

I can see her that’s why I also drive faster when she suddenly change direction and crashed.

I drive faster to her direction, when I get off my car I immediately went and look at her. She’s unconscious and there’s blood on her face. The doors and windows are close, that’s why I went back to my car and look for something to hit it.

When I was able to open the door, I immediately feel her pulse.

“Jess! Jess!” I’m calling and waking her, I’m nervous.

I sigh in relief when I learn hat she is still alive. I remove her seat belt, I saw the broken windshield in front, maybe the shards. .h.i.t her face that’s why she has wounds.

I get her out of the car, there already a lot of people that followed and arrived.

“Holy! What happen to you Jessy!” Steph said crying.

I put her in my car, Steph followed and holds Jess. Then I drive the car faster to the hospital.

When we arrive at the hospital, they treated immediately the wounds on her face and arm, a moment later she woke up.

“Thank G.o.d that you’re awake, Jessy why did you do that? You just got out from the hospital and now here we are again! We already called your mom and any minute she’ll come.” Steph said worriedly.

“Why did you called them?” Jess said angrily then she remove the nurse hand that is treating her.

“Don’t move, you need to get treated.” I stop her.

“No! I’ll go.” she said.

“What the h.e.l.l! What’s wrong with you?” Steph said.

“Brix, please I beg you I want to go away from here.” She said to me. Even though I don’t want to but she was able to persuade me from her pleading. I can’t . I can’t endure her.

“Okay.” I said then I a.s.sisted her down.

“What the heck! Briz you agree? Unbelievable.” Steph said.

“I just think that we have to let her.” I replied.

“But I’ll be with her.” I added.

We went out of the hospital. We rode my car and drive it away.

“Where do you want to go?” I ask her when I turn to her.

“I don’t know, just drive.” She said and that’s what I did.

Until we arrive at Antipolo, we went to a high place where we can see the city lights. We seated at the front of the car and Jess was just in daze.

I stand up and took my jacket from the car and put it on her. I knowshe has a problem and I think it’s all about her family.

“I’m just here.” I said then face her.

“What did you do when your parents separated?” she asked.

I smiled before answering. “Nothing but just to accept it.”

“Why?”

“I’m still twelve at that time, what can I do?” I look at her.

“That’s it?”

“Yeah, they were just arrange marriage at the age of eighteen. My dad was a happy go lucky and still din’t think about commitment. My mom has a boyfriend at that time but they broke up when she got married to dad. They tried to learn to love each other but after 13 years, the point came that even though how much they did, they still didn’t love each other. That’s why they decided to have a divorce.” I told her.

“And you let them?”

“Yes, because I love them both and I really know that they don’t love each other cause I always sees that. I want them to be happy and enjoy their lives now that they weren’t able to do before. And you know that they are bestfriends now.” I said smiling.

“But your family is broken?”

“Yeah, but it’s okay, I don’t want to be selfish. Maybe thirteen years is enough for them to be together for me.”

I look at her and it’s seems she’s thinking.

“I’m happy that I still have mom and dad. And they are getting along. Dad still doesn’t want commitment, and still feel like a bachelo! And mom, I’m still sad for her.”

“Why?” Jess asked.

“Because her boyfriend before, she looked for him after the divorce. But when she found him, he’s also already married and has a family.”

“That’s why she’s still sad, she live her life alone that’s why I promise to myself that I will always be by her side.” I smiled.

“Haha, why has it came to the topic about my parents. You’re the one who’s supposed to tell a story.”

“Hehe, you’re right. I think it’s better, at least while listening to you I forgot my problems.” She smiled.

[Jessy]

After Brix and I talked, he send me home. Even though he didn’t said a solution to my problem but I was enlighten and I realize something.

When I turned to the house, I saw Kristoff who’s sitting at the front. It seems like he just finish skate boarding.

“Oh Monggi, why are you outside?” I asked.

“Nothing. I just want to.” he responded while looking at me.

“You’re answering me now? You aren’t scared to me anymore?” I said to him.

“Why did you suddenly leave the hospital? They are looking for you now.” He answered.

“I just want to.” I answered then I sit beside him.

“Do you know that you’re ugly right now? You have full of wounds on your face! The zombie’s face that I watch is better– ouch!” I suddenly hit him.

“Eh what about you, since birth you’re already ugly!” I shouted to him.

“Your face now is scary compare to you being mad before. Haha!” He said teasingly.

“So I’m scary!” I hit him.

“Ouch! Stop, your so violent!” He shouted then remove my hand on him.

We both turned quiet.

“Why did they separated?” I look at Monggi, he’s not looking at me and he’s sad.

“Because there’s no love.” I answered. Then he turned to me.

“No love?” he ask and I nodded, then I smiled to him.

“Because if there is love, no one should be hurt, no separation, nothing to destroy. But it’s much better that they separated compared to forcing the thing that was already gone, and maybe it would be more painful.” I said crying.

“I realize that you’re uglier when you having a drama.” Monggi said that’s why I glare at him.

“You!” I said then I hit him again.

“Haha, stop ate!” He was laughing the he suddenly cry and hug me.

“Ate–ate–ate!” He said repeatedly while crying.

I hug him, why did I not realize? I think about my feelings first but I didn’t know that it’s harder to Kristoff. He was five years old then, he doesn’t know anything, he grew up without knowing dad. He was asking but none of us answered where dad was.

That was harder, when you don’t know a thing why your family is not complete. And we didn’t think all of that, we put our feelings first. Monggi isd naughty and jolly that’s why I didn’t think that he’s also hurting at what’s happening.

I hug him tighter and I can’t stop my tears from falling.

There’s no love that’s why our family are broken. But I think that we are still family, it’s just not complete but we are still family. I still have mom and monggi, they are my family and I know as long as we love each other, our family that we have now will not be ruined.