The pardon and peace he sought came to him, and in such sort that the comfort of that day, when fresh from the first shock, and waiting in suspense for some new blow, was such as never to be forgotten. They linked themselves with the grave shade of the cl.u.s.tered gray columns, and the angel heads on roof of that old church; with the long gra.s.s and tall yellow mullens among its churchyard graves, and with the tints of the elm-trees that closed it in, their leaves in ma.s.ses either of green or yellow, and opening here and there to show the purple hills beyond.
He wandered in the churchyard between the services. All enmity to Philip was absent now; and he felt as if it would hardly return when he stood by the graves of the Archdeacon and of the two Frances Morvilles, and thought what that spot was to his cousin. There were a few flowers planted round Mrs. Morville"s grave, but they showed that they had long been neglected, and no such signs of care marked her daughter f.a.n.n.y"s.
And when Guy further thought of Mrs. Henley, and recollected how Philip had sacrificed all his cherished prospects and hopes of distinction, and embraced an irksome profession, for the sake of these two sisters, he did not find it difficult to excuse the sternness, severity, and distrust which were an evidence how acutely a warm heart had suffered.
Though he suffered cruelly from being cut off from Amy, yet his reverence for her helped him to submit. He had always felt as if she was too far above him; and though he had, beyond his hopes, been allowed to aspire to the thought of her, it was on trial, and his failure, his return to his old evil pa.s.sions, had sunk him beneath her. He shuddered to think of her being united to anything so unlike herself, and which might cause her so much misery; it was wretchedness to think that even now she might be suffering for him; and yet not for worlds would he have lost the belief that she was so feeling, or the remembrance of the looks which had shone on him so sweetly and timidly as she sat at her mother"s feet; though that remembrance was only another form of misery. But Amy would be tranquil, pure and good, whatever became of him, and he should always be able to think of her, looking like one of those peaceful spirits, with bending head, folded hands, and a star on its brow, in the "Paradiso" of Flaxman. Her serenity would be untouched; and though she might be lost to him, he could still be content while he could look up at it through his turbid life. Better she were lost to him than that her peace should be injured.
He still, of course, earnestly longed to prove his innocence, though his hopes lessened, for as long as the evidence was withheld, he had no chance. After writing as strongly as he could, he could do no more, except watch for something that might unravel the mystery; and Charles"s warm sympathy and readiness to a.s.sist him were a great comfort.
He had not seen his uncle again; perhaps Sebastian was ashamed to meet him after their last encounter, and was still absent on his engagement; but the wife and child were still at St. Mildred"s, and one afternoon, when Guy had rather unwillingly gone thither with Mr. Wellwood, he saw Mrs. Dixon sitting on one of the benches which were placed on the paths cut out on the side of the hill, looking very smart and smiling, among several persons of her own cla.s.s.
To be ashamed to recognise her was a weakness beneath him; he spoke to her, and was leaving her, pluming herself on his notice, when he saw little Marianne"s blue eyes fixed wistfully upon him, and held out his hand to her. She ran up to him joyfully, and he led her a few steps from her mother"s party. "Well, little one, how are you? I have your piece of spar quite safe. Have you said how d"ye do to Bustle?"
"Bustle! Bustle!" called the soft voice but it needed a whistle from his master to bring him to be caressed by the little girl.
"Have you been taking any more pleasant walks?"
"Oh yes. We have been all round these pretty paths. And I should like to go to the top of this great high hill, and see all round; but mamma says she has got a bone in her leg, and cannot go."
"Do you think mamma would give you leave to go up with me? Should you like it?"
She coloured all over; too happy even to thank him.
"Then," said Guy to his tutor, "I will meet you here when you have done your business in the town, in an hour or so. Poor little thing, she has not many pleasures."
Mrs. Dixon made no difficulty, and was so profuse in thanks that Guy got out of her way as fast as he could, and was soon on the soft thymy gra.s.s of the hill-side, the little girl frisking about him in great delight, playing with Bustle, and chattering merrily.
Little Marianne was a delicate child, and her frolic did not last long.
As the ascent became steeper, her breath grew shorter, and she toiled on in a resolute uncomplaining manner after his long, vigorous steps, till he looked round, and seeing her panting far behind, turned to help her, lead her, and carry her, till the top was achieved, and the little girl stood on the topmost stone, gazing round at the broad sunny landscape, with the soft green meadows, the harvest fields, the woods in their gorgeous autumn raiment, and the moorland on the other side, with its other peaks and cairns, brown with withered bracken, and shadowed in moving patches by the floating clouds. The exhilarating wind brought a colour into her pale cheeks, and her flossy curls were blowing over her face.
He watched her in silence, pleased and curious to observe how beautiful a scene struck the childish eye of the little Londoner. The first thing she said, after three or four minutes" contemplation--a long time for such a child--was, "Oh! I never saw anything so pretty!" then presently after, "Oh! I wish little brother Felix was here!"
"This is a pleasant place to think about your little brother," said Guy, kindly; and she looked up in his face, and exclaimed, "Oh! do you know about Felix?"
"You shall tell me" said Guy. "Here, sit on my knee, and rest after your scramble."
"Mamma never lets me talk of Felix, because it makes her cry," said Marianne; but I wish it sometimes."
Her little heart was soon open. It appeared that Felix was the last who had died, the nearest in age to Marianne, and her favourite playfellow.
She told of some of their sports in their London home, speaking of them with eagerness and fondness that showed what joys they had been, though to Guy they seemed but the very proof of dreariness and dinginess. She talked of walks to school, when Felix would tell what he would do when he was a man, and how he took care of her at the crossings, and how rude boys used to drive them, and how they would look in at the shop windows and settle what they would buy if they were rich. Then she talked of his being ill--ill so very long; how he sat in his little chair, and could not play, and then always lay in bed, and she liked to sit by him, there; but at last he died, and they carried him away in a great black coffin, and he would never come back again. But it was so dull now, there was no one to play with her.
Though the little girl did not cry, she looked very mournful, and Guy tried to comfort her, but she did not understand him. "Going to heaven"
only conveyed to her a notion of death and separation, and this phrase, together with a vague idea who had made her, and that she ought to be good, seemed to be the extent of the poor child"s religious knowledge.
She hardly ever had been at church and though she had read one or two Bible stories, it seemed to have been from their having been used as lessons at school. She had a dim notion that good people read the Bible, and there was one on the little table at home, with the sh.e.l.l-turkey-c.o.c.k standing upon it, and mamma read it when Felix died; but it was a big book, and the sh.e.l.l-turkey-c.o.c.k always stood upon it; in short, it seemed only connected with mamma"s tears, and the loss of her brother.
Guy was very much shocked, and so deep in thought that he could hardly talk to the child in their progress down the hill; but she was just so tired as to be inclined to silence, and quite happy clinging to his hand, till he delivered her over to her mother at the foot of the hill, and went to join his tutor, at the place appointed.
"Wellwood," said he, breaking silence, when they had walked about half way back to the farm, "do you think your cousin would do me a great kindness? You saw that child? Well, if the parents consent, it would be the greatest charity on earth if Miss Wellwood would receive her into her school."
"On what terms? What sort of an education is she to have?"
"The chief thing she wants is to be taught Christianity, poor child; the rest Miss Wellwood may settle. She is my first cousin. I don"t know whether you are acquainted with our family history?" and he went on to explain as much as was needful. It ended in a resolution that if Miss Wellwood would undertake the charge, the proposal should be made to Mrs.
Dixon.
It was a way of a.s.sisting his relations likely to do real good, and on the other hand, he would be able, under colour of the payment for the child, to further Miss Wellwood"s schemes, and give her the interest of the thousand pounds, until his five and twentieth year might put his property in his own power.
Miss Wellwood readily consented, much pleased with the simplicity and absence of false shame he showed in the whole transaction, and very anxious for the good of a child in a cla.s.s so difficult to reach. He next went to Mrs. Dixon, expecting more difficulty with her, but he found none. She thought it better Marianne should live at St. Mildred"s than die in London, and was ready to catch at the prospect of her being fitted for a governess. Indeed, she was so strongly persuaded that the rich cousin might make Marianne"s fortune, that she would have been very unwilling to interfere with the fancy he had taken for her.
Little Marianne was divided between fear of leaving mamma and liking for St. Mildred"s, but her first interview with Miss Wellwood, and Miss Jane"s showing her a little white bed, quite turned the scale in their favour. Before the time came for Guy"s return to Oxford, he had seen her settled, heard her own account of her happy life, and had listened to Miss Jane Wellwood"s delight in her sweet temper and good disposition.
Those thousand pounds; Guy considered again and again whether he could explain their destination, and whether this would clear him. It seemed to him only a minor charge, and besides his repugnance to mention such a design, he saw too many obstacles in his way. Captain Morville and his sister were the very persons from whom Miss Wellwood"s project was to be kept secret. Besides, what would be gained? It was evident that Guy"s own a.s.sertions were doubted, and he could bring no confirmation of them; he had never spoken of his intention to his tutor, and Mr. Wellwood could, therefore, say nothing in his favour. If Mr. Edmonstone alone had been concerned, or if this had been the only accusation, Guy might have tried to explain it; but with Philip he knew it would be useless, and therefore would not enter on the subject. He could only wait patiently.
CHAPTER 19
Most delicately, hour by hour, He canva.s.sed human mysteries, And stood aloof from other minds.
Himself unto himself he sold, Upon himself, himself did feed, Quiet, dispa.s.sionate, and cold, With chiselled features clear and sleek.
--TENNYSON
Guy had been about a week at Oxford, when one evening, as he was sitting alone in his rooms, he received an unexpected visit from Captain Morville. He was glad, for he thought a personal interview would remove all misconstructions, and held out his hand cordially, saying:--
"You here, Philip! When did you come?"
"Half an hour ago. I am on my way to spend a week with the Thorndales. I go on to-morrow to my sister"s."
While speaking, Philip was surveying the apartment, for he held that a man"s room is generally an indication of his disposition, and a.s.suredly there was a great deal of character in his own, with the scrupulous neatness and fastidious taste of its arrangements. Here, he thought, he could not fail to see traces of his cousin"s habits, but he was obliged to confess to himself that there was very little to guide him. The furniture was strictly as its former occupant had left it, only rather the worse for wear, and far from being in order. The chairs were so heaped with books and papers, that Guy had to make a clearance of one before his visitor could sit down, but there was nothing else to complain of, not even a trace of cigars; but knowing him to be a great reader and lover of accomplishments, Philip wondered that the only decorations were Laura"s drawing of Sintram, and a little print of Redclyffe, and the books were chiefly such as were wanted for his studies, the few others having for the most part the air of old library books, as if he had sent for them from Redclyffe. Was this another proof that he had some way of frittering away his money with nothing to show for it? A Sophocles and a lexicon were open before him on the table, and a blotting-book, which he closed, but not before Philip had caught sight of what looked like verses.
Neither did his countenance answer Philip"s expectations. It had not his usual bright lively expression; there was a sadness which made him smile like a gleam on a showery day, instead of constant sunshine; but there was neither embarra.s.sment nor defiance, and the gleam-like smile was there, as with a frank, confiding tone, he said,--
"This is very kind of you, to come and see what you can do for me."
Philip was by no means prepared to be thus met half-way, but he thought Guy wanted to secure him as an intercessor, and hardened himself into righteous severity.
"No one can be more willing to help you than I, but you must, in the first place, help yourself."
Instantly the sedate measured tone made Guy"s heart and head throb with impatience, awakening all the former memories so hardly battled down; but with the impulse of anger came the thought, "Here it is again! If I don"t keep it down now, I am undone! The enemy will seize me again!" He forced himself not to interrupt, while Philip went calmly on.
"While you are not open, nothing can be done."
"My only wish, my only desire, is to be open," said Guy, speaking fast and low, and repressing the feeling, which, nevertheless, affected his voice; "but the opportunity of explanation has never been given me."
"You need complain of that no longer. I am here to convey to my uncle any explanation you may wish to address to him. I will do my best to induce him to attend to it favourably, but he is deeply offended and hurt by what has pa.s.sed."
"I know--I know," said Guy, colouring deeply, and all irritation disappearing from voice and manner; "I know there is no excuse for me.
I can only repeat that I am heartily sorry for whatever I may have said, either of him or of you."
"Of course," returned Philip, "I should never think of resenting what you may have said in a moment of irritation, especially as you express regret for it. Consider it as entirely overlooked on my part."