"But isn"t there danger that there will be, Bessie?" her friend entreated.

"Danger? I shouldn"t call it danger, exactly!"

"But if you don"t respect him, Bessie--"

"Why, how can I? He doesn"t respect me!"

"I know you"re teasing, now," said Mary Enderby, getting up, "and you"re quite right. I have no business to--"

Bessie pulled her down upon the seat again. "Yes, you have! Don"t I tell you, over and over? He doesn"t respect me, because I don"t know how to make him, and he wouldn"t like it if I did. But now I"ll try to make you understand. I don"t believe I care for him the least; but mind, I"m not certain, for I"ve never cared for any one, and I don"t know what it"s like. You know I"m not sentimental; I think sentiment"s funny; and I"m not dignified--"

"You"re divine," murmured Mary Enderby, with reproachful adoration.

"Yes, but you see how my divinity could be improved," said Bessie, with a wild laugh. "I"m not sentimental, but I"m emotional, and he gives me emotions. He"s a riddle, and I"m all the time guessing at him. You get the answer to the kind of men we know easily; and it"s very nice, but it doesn"t amuse you so much as trying. Now, Mr. Durgin--what a name! I can see it makes you creep--is no more like one of us than a--bear is--and his att.i.tude toward us is that of a bear who"s gone so much with human beings that he thinks he"s a human being. He"s delightful, that way.

And, do you know, he"s intellectual! He actually brings me books, and wants to read pa.s.sages to me out of them! He has brought me the plans of the new hotel he"s going to build. It"s to be very aesthetic, and it"s going to be called The Lion"s Head Inn. There"s to be a little theatre, for amateur dramatics, which I could conduct, and for all sorts of professional amus.e.m.e.nts. If you should ever come, Molly, I"m sure we shall do our best to make you comfortable."

Mary Enderby would not let Bessie laugh upon her shoulder after she said this. "Bessie Lynde," she said, severely, "if you have no regard for yourself, you ought to have some regard for him. You may say you are not encouraging him, and you may believe it--"

"Oh, I shouldn"t say it if I didn"t believe it," Bessie broke in, with a mock air of seriousness.

"I must be going," said Mary, stiffly, and this time she succeeded in getting to her feet.

Bessie laid hold of her again. "You think you"ve been trifled with, don"t you, dear?"

"No--"

"Yes, you do! Don"t you try to be slippery, Molly. The plain pikestaff is your style, morally speaking--if any one knows what a pikestaff is.

Well, now, listen! You"re anxious about me."

"You know how I feel, Bessie," said Mary Enderby, looking her in the eyes.

"Yes, I do," said Bessie. "The trouble is, I don"t know how I feel. But if I ever do, Molly, I"ll tell you! Is that fair?"

"Yes."

"I"ll give you ample warning. At the least little consciousness in the region of the pericardium, off will go a note by a district messenger, and when you come I"ll do whatever you say. There!"

"Oh, Bessie!" cried her friend, and she threw her arms round her, "you always were the most fascinating creature in the world!"

"Yes," said Bessie, "that"s what I try to have him think."

XLII.

Toward the end of April most people who had places at the Sh.o.r.e were mostly in them, but they came up to town on frequent errands, and had one effect of evanescence with people who still remained in their Boston houses provisionally, and seemed more than half absent. The Enderbys had been at the Sh.o.r.e for a fortnight, and the Lyndes were going to be a fortnight longer in Boston, yet, as Bessie made her friend observe, when Mary, ran in for lunch, or stopped for a moment on her way to the train, every few days, they were both of the same transitory quality.

"It might as well be I as you," Bessie said one day, "if we only think so. It"s all very weird, dear, and I"m not sure but it is you who sit day after day at my lonely cas.e.m.e.nt and watch the sparrows examining the fuzzy buds of the j.a.p ivy to see just how soon they can hope to build in the vines. Do you object to the ivy buds looking so very much like snipped woollen rags? If you do, I"m sure it"s you, here in my place, for when I come up to town in your personality it sets my teeth on edge.

In fact, that"s the worst thing about Boston now--the fuzzy ivy buds; there"s so much ivy! When you can forget the buds, there are a great many things to make you happy. I feel quite as if we were spending the summer in town and I feel very adventurous and very virtuous, like some sort of self-righteous bohemian. You don"t know how I look down on people who have gone out of town. I consider them very selfish and heartless; I don"t know why, exactly. But when we have a good marrow-freezing northeasterly storm, and the newspapers come out with their ironical congratulations to the tax-dodgers at the Sh.o.r.e, I feel that Providence is on my side, and I"m getting my reward, even in this world." Bessie suddenly laughed. "I see by your expression of fixed inattention, Molly, that you"re thinking of Mr. Durgin!"

Mary gave a start of protest, but she was too honest to deny the fact outright, and Bessie ran on:

"No, we don"t sit on a bench in the Common, or even in the Garden, or on the walk in Commonwealth Avenue. If we come to it later, as the season advances, I shall make him stay quite at the other end of the bench, and not put his hand along the top. You needn"t be afraid, Molly; all the proprieties shall be religiously observed. Perhaps I shall ask Aunt Louisa to let us sit out on her front steps, when the evenings get warmer; but I a.s.sure you it"s much more comfortable in-doors yet, even in town, though you"ll hardly, believe it at the Sh.o.r.e. Shall you come up to Cla.s.s Day?"

"Oh, I don"t know," Mary began, with a sigh of the baffled hope and the inextinguishable expectation which the mention of Cla.s.s Day stirs in the heart of every Boston girl past twenty.

"Yes!" said Bessie, with a sigh burlesqued from Mary"s. "That is what we all say, and it is certainly the most maddening of human festivals.

I suppose, if we were quite left to ourselves, we shouldn"t go; but we seem never to be, quite. After every Cla.s.s Day I say to myself that nothing on earth could induce me to go to another; but when it comes round again, I find myself grasping at any straw of a pretext. I"m pretending now that I"ve a tender obligation to go because it"s his Cla.s.s Day."

"Bessie!" cried Mary Enderby. "You don"t mean it!"

"Not if I say it, Mary dear. What did I promise you about the pericardiac symptoms? But I feel--I feel that if he asks me I must go.

Shouldn"t you like to go and see a jay Cla.s.s Day--be part of it? Think of going once to the Pi Ute spread--or whatever it is! And dancing in their tent! And being left out of the Gym, and Beck! Yes, I ought to go, so that it can be brought home to me, and I can have a realizing sense of what I am doing, and be stayed in my mad career."

"Perhaps," Mary Enderby suggested, colorlessly, "he will be devoted to his own people." She had a cold fascination in the picture Bessie"s words had conjured up, and she was saying this less to Bessie than to herself.

"And I should meet them--his mothers and sisters!" Bessie dramatized an excess of anguish. "Oh, Mary, that is the very thorn I have been trying not to press my heart against; and does your hand commend it to my embrace? His folks! Yes, they would be folks; and what folks! I think I am getting a realizing sense. Wait! Don"t speak don"t move, Molly!"

Bessie dropped her chin into her hand, and stared straight forward, gripping Mary Enderby"s hand.

Mary withdrew it. "I shall have to go, Bessie," she said. "How is your aunt?"

"Must you? Then I shall always say that it was your fault that I couldn"t get a realizing sense--that you prevented me, just when I was about to see myself as others see me--as you see me. She"s very well!"

Bessie sighed in earnest, and her friend gave her hand a little pressure of true sympathy. "But of course it"s rather dull here, now."

"I hate to have you staying on. Couldn"t you come down to us for a week?"

"No. We both think it"s best to be here when Alan gets back. We want him to go down with us." Bessie had seldom spoken openly with Mary Enderby about her brother; but that was rather from Mary"s shrinking than her own; she knew that everybody understood his case. She went so far now as to say: "He"s ever so much better than he has been. We have such hopes of him, if he can keep well, when he gets back this time."

"Oh, I know he will," said Mary, fervently. "I"m sure of it. Couldn"t we do something for you, Bessie?"

"No, there isn"t anything. But--thank you. I know you always think of me, and that"s worlds. When are you coming up again?"

"I don"t know. Next week, some time."

"Come in and see me--and Alan, if he should be at home. He likes you, and he will be so glad."

Mary kissed Bessie for consent. "You know how much I admire Alan. He could be anything."

"Yes, he could. If he could!"

Bessie seldom put so much earnest in anything, and Mary loved (as she would have said) the sad sincerity, the honest hopelessness of her tone.

"We must help him. I know we can."

"We must try. But people who could--if they could--" Bessie stopped.

Her friend divined that she was no longer speaking wholly of her brother, but she said: "There isn"t any if about it; and there are no ifs about anything if we only think so. It"s a sin not to think so."

The mixture of severity and of optimism in the nature of her friend had often amused Bessie, and it did not escape her tacit notice in even so serious a moment as this. Her theory was that she was shocked to recognize it now, because of its relation to her brother, but her theories did not always agree with the facts.