Chapter 1512: Bonus: Having Some Fun First
Translator: Atlas Studios Editor: Atlas Studios
With that said, Fangzheng prepared to leave.
The System said indifferently, “Don’t be in a rush. Although you don’t have much powers, you are a Buddha after all. Other Buddhas can have Buddha nations in their palms, so it’s not a problem for you to rear a loach in your palm. Other Buddhas can destroy the mortal world with a single glance, so it’s not a problem for you to set a fire to warm yourself…”
Fangzheng was not happy when he heard that. His expression turned even darker. “You mean that my being of Buddha is equal to a ten-thousandth of other Buddhas?”
The System said, “No.”
Fangzheng said in surprise, “Could it be possible to do more? A thousandth?”
The System said, “Don’t misunderstand. I’m saying that it’s not that high, only smaller. If you want to put it in numbers, it’s about a trillionth. Perhaps even less.”
Fangzheng stomped his feet. “I quit! I’m going down the mountain!”
“It’s fine if you don’t quit. If you quit, Lone Wolf and company must leave with me. Otherwise, I won’t be at ease if no one cares about these monsters. I’m here to redeem people, not to kill people,” said the System.
Fangzheng was taken aback as he subconsciously asked, “Where are you taking them?”
The System said, “To the Earth Immortal World. Although they are monsters, the monsters in the Earth Immortal World are the best meat for serving in stews. Therefore, they won’t be able to do anything… That squirrel is so fat. I can still sell it for a good price.”
Fangzheng cursed. “Screw you! With me around, don’t even think about taking them away!”
The System asked, “Then are you still going to be Buddha?”
Fangzheng hurriedly picked up the gold token and hung it around his neck. “f.u.c.k you, yes!”
System: “So are you f.u.c.king or not… Stop talking.”
The System suddenly came to a realization. He couldn’t continue the sentence. No matter what he said, he would be at a disadvantage.
Fangzheng said, “I’ve already become a Buddha. There’s nothing for you now. Shouldn’t you be leaving?”
The System said, “That’s right… Sigh, it’s time to leave.”
Fangzheng slowed down when he heard that. He said with some reluctance, “Are you really leaving?”
The System yelled, “It’s time to leave, but can you stop me if I don’t?”
“f.u.c.k you!”
The System said, “Stop cursing. If you provoke me, I’ll get the divine lightning back for you. It wasn’t easy for you to stop cursing. Don’t make me lose my merit.”
Fangzheng grunted. “I’ve been holding it in for two years. You have to at least let me enjoy it, right? Once I’ve had my fun, I guarantee I won’t curse… Well, at least not in front of outsiders.”
System: “…”
“System.”
“Yes?”
“Screw you!”
System: “…”
“System!”
“What?!”
“You idiot!”
System: “…”
“System?”
System: “Service unavailable.”
“Motherf.u.c.ker…”
System: “Darn Bald Donkey, don’t force me! I know how to curse too!”
“Amitabha. Go ahead. Once you’re done, let’s go to h.e.l.l of Tongue Ripping together,” said Fangzheng with a relaxed expression.
System: “…”
…
Fangzheng, who had finally won a round, was in a good mood. However, when he entered the temple hall and saw the red-dressed girl attendant, he felt a sense of sorrow.
No matter what, Fangzheng was a hot-blooded young man. How could he not miss the maiden?
Even if he became a Buddha, he had never felt like he was a Buddha!
Throughout his cultivation, he had never treated himself as a master. All he cared about was renouncing asceticism, marrying a wife, giving birth, having children, and having plenty of grandchildren…
Now that he had become a Buddha, he could no longer marry.
Fangzheng guessed that in another ten years, his childhood friends would have children running all over the place. What about him?
Fangzheng looked at Lone Wolf, Squirrel, Monkey, and Salted Fish, who were rolling around in the yard. He cursed inwardly. “What the heck is this… The difference is too great!”
…
Fangzheng snapped out of his daze and looked at the youth in front of him who was already warming up. He smiled and said, “Can you tell me why you don’t dare to leave the mountain?”
The youth leaned against the fire and curled up into a ball to warm himself up. Only then did he lower his head and say, “I’m afraid they’ll catch me and bring me back. That place is too scary. It’s not a place for humans to stay. It’s the modern Auschwitz concentration camp! It’s filled with demons. Not humans!”
At this point, the youth’s hands trembled uncontrollably.
“Amitahba!” Fangzheng shouted a Buddhist proclamation.
The youth’s heart was like a bell ringing softly. It was like a gentle breeze that blew past. All the panic instantly dissipated and calmed down.
Fangzheng said, “Don’t be afraid. Although This Penniless Monk’s tiny temple isn’t big, demons and ghosts can’t enter.”
The youth looked gratefully at Fangzheng and said, “Master, I’m begging you. Let me stay. It’s fine if I’m a monk, but if I can’t, I’ll stay and sweep the floor. Look, there’s snow all over the ground. If I were to sweep it, I guarantee that there won’t be a single snowflake remaining!”
Fangzheng shook his head with a smile. “This Penniless Monk does not accept disciples.”
The youth said in disbelief, “What about them?”
Fangzheng said, “It’s them. They only entered because they had an opportunity.”
“I can do it too! Master, please accept me as your disciple!” The youth knelt on the ground and was about to kowtow.
Fangzheng waved his hand. The youth was surprised to discover that no matter how hard he tried, he could not kneel down. He could not kowtow no matter what.
Now, although Fangzheng was not a powerful Buddha, many trivial divine powers were at his fingertips. He no longer needed to try his luck.
Fangzheng smiled. “Alright, don’t kneel so easily. No matter what others think, This Penniless Monk’s monastery doesn’t believe in that.”
The youth said, “Master, I beg you. Please take me in.”
Fangzheng saw the youth’s emotions turn agitated again. Furthermore, it was as though there was a demon in his heart. He clearly wanted to say something that he was very afraid of, but every time it came to his mouth, he didn’t dare say it. It was as though a malicious ghost was hanging above his head, ready to bite him at any moment.
Fangzheng knew that the child was truly frightened. It was not convenient for him to ask any further. He needed to calm him down first.
Furthermore, according to Doctor Yang, the child’s parents would be on the mountain soon. When he met his parents, the child’s mood would be much calmer. When that time came, everyone could sit down and have a good chat. It might be a better choice.
Fangzheng said, “Patron, how should I address you?”
The young man was stunned for a moment. After thinking for a while, he said, “My name is Liu Sheng.”
Fangzheng nodded. “Jingxin, bring Patron Liu down the mountain to find a place to stay for a night.”
The moment he heard that he was going to the foot of the mountain, the youth fell to his knees in fright. He kowtowed like he was pounding garlic. His snot and tears flowed down as he wailed, “Master! You can’t send me down the mountain! Don’t send me down the mountain… I beg you! Let me stay on the mountain. I beg you…”
This scene gave Fangzheng and Red Boy a fright. Lone Wolf, Salted Fish, Squirrel, and Monkey, who were fooling around, came over as well.
Even Sc.r.a.pped Car turned on his headlights and looked over curiously.
Red Boy said with a smile, “Patron, look at our monastery. There are so many people living here. There’s no place for you to stay on the mountain. The patrons at the foot of the mountain are good friends of One Finger Monastery. It’s comfortable and safe for you to visit them. It’s the same.”
However, the youth refused to listen. His head shook like a rattle as he cried out, “I beg of you, please don’t let me go down the mountain… I won’t stay in the room. I’ll just sleep by the door… Boohoo…”
Fangzheng and company felt helpless when they saw the child in such a state. Most of them felt their hearts soften.
At that moment, Monkey said, “Master, let him sleep on my bed. I’ll guard the temple hall tonight.”
Red Boy said, “I’ll add a fire for you to warm you up.”
Monkey nodded in thanks.
The youth was overjoyed when he heard that. He said gratefully, “Thank you, Master. Thank you, Master!”
Monkey felt a little embarra.s.sed by the youth’s grat.i.tude. He scratched his head and looked up into the sky…
Fangzheng thought about it and could only do so. Hence, he said, “Forget it. In that case, you can sleep in Jingzhen’s bed.”
The young Liu Sheng expressed his grat.i.tude in ecstasy.
Fangzheng waved his hand and got Jingxin to bring Liu Sheng to get some rest. He then got Jingzhen to prepare some food for Liu Sheng.
“Use Crystal Rice. This child’s body is very weak. It’s nouris.h.i.+ng,” said Fangzheng.
Monkey nodded and followed.
After everyone left, Squirrel asked curiously, “Master, what’s wrong with this child? Why is he so afraid of leaving the mountain?”
Fangzheng shook his head. He had no idea what was going on either. All he could do was wait until he met the child’s parents tomorrow.