Chapter 703: Major Art of Nagging

Translator: CKtalon Editor: CKtalon

“He’s doomed, Master is going to chant the scriptures. Good luck to Junior Brother. Even if he doesn’t die, he will probably shed a layer of skin,” said Squirrel with a look of worry.

Lone Wolf said, “What that rascal sang made me blush. To think he wasn’t ashamed to sing it… Sigh, if I had known that Duan Liu’s first half of the song led to such s.e.xual innuendo lyrics, I wouldn’t have recommended him to listen to it. I have sinned, I have truly sinned.”

Monkey said in his usual composed state, “The song sounded bad, but the screams later will be worse. Amitabha.”

However, what left them infinitely puzzled was that they didn’t hear Red Boy’s tragic cries despite waiting all day.

After the two entered the meditation room, they didn’t come out the entire morning.

Seeing that Fangzheng and Red Boy hadn’t eaten breakfast and had isolated themselves to the point of skipping lunch as well, the few animals couldn’t sit still any longer. After they exchanged looks, they urged each other to scout ahead to figure out the situation.

“Could Junior Brother unleash his ferocity and choose to have an internecine outcome with Master?” Lone Wolf asked worriedly.

“No way, right?” Squirrel turned a bit afraid.

Monkey said, “Why don’t we enter to take a look?”

“Are you going?” Lone Wolf and Squirrel asked Monkey at the same time.

Monkey decisively shook his head and said, “Not alone. If I’m going, all of us should go together!”

“Then let’s go together!” Finally, the three animals pushed open Fangzheng’s room and the moment they opened the door, they heard Fangzheng say, “Have you understood all that I’ve told you? Why are you in a daze? Shake your head or nod at least. Why are you nodding? Speak! Yes, that’s good. Where was I? Let’s continue. Tell me, you sang on the rooftop early in the morning. I can forget that you woke up everyone from their sleep since they are all your fellow disciples and This Penniless Monk is your master. So you cannot be blamed. But what happens if you wake up all the sleeping birds? They are working hard to feed their families, and finally get to sleep at night. Yet you don’t let them sleep in peace? Furthermore, they are in hibernation…”

When the three animals heard that, they felt their scalps tingle. Fangzheng was being far too naggy! Fangzheng wasn’t chanting the scriptures; he was possessed by the G.o.d of Nagging!

“Why are the three of you here?” Fangzheng looked up and saw Squirrel, Monkey, and Lone Wolf secretly peeking in.

The trio instantly jumped in fright. Would he pull them in to nag at them as well?

Red Boy suddenly saw a glimmer of hope. Finally… There’s finally someone to pull away his attention. Am I finally going to gain freedom? His ears felt like they were suffering abrasions from listening to the tirade an entire morning. It was more painful than the scripture chanting! G.o.d, save me! I won’t sing without thought again…

An idea came to Monkey as he hurriedly said, “Master, we came in to ask if there’s anything you need us to do.”

“Good! Get some water for me. I’m dehydrated from talking all morning,” said Fangzheng emotively.

Red Boy nearly cried when he heard that. You are almost dehydrated? I’m almost dying from this torment, alright? He asked bitterly, “Master, can we end it here today? I know my faults.”

“What joke is that? I just got started! Wait until I’ve drank a mouthful of water, and we can continue having the chat!” Fangzheng rolled his eyes at Red Boy.

Red Boy’s eyes rolled back as he collapsed. He really couldn’t stand it!

A wicked smile flashed in Fangzheng’s eyes when he saw this.

Fangzheng was not a naggy person to begin with, but Red Boy was difficult to educate. As for using the Golden Circlet Curse? To be frank, after spending so much time with him, Fangzheng had affection for him. If the curse was used, it was too painful, so he couldn’t bear to use it. Yet he couldn’t let the brat keep acting without any restraints. As for beating him? His skin was rough and his flesh tough. The beating wouldn’t hurt at all. As for swearing at him? It was likely he would first be struck to death by the System before Red Boy even reacted. Therefore, after lots of thought, Fangzheng decided to use the torture he was most afraid of from a young age—the Major Art of Nagging!

Back when Fangzheng was a brat himself, Zen Master One Finger would expound on him his wrongdoings, but the villagers were even better at it!

Fangzheng had once stolen chicken eggs and was dragged away by Du Mei to be nagged at the entire day. Even his meals were dealt with by Du Mei. From that day forth, Fangzheng would always circle around Du Mei when he saw her. It was so terrifying that it was still fresh on his memory!

Therefore Fangzheng had taken a page from Du Mei’s book and begun using the Major Art of Nagging. Now, from the looks of it, it was rather effective.

After getting Monkey to carry Red Boy away, Fangzheng stretched his back and ate lunch.

After having his fill, he looked at the pickled vegetables vat. After a night of being pressed by the boulder, together with the coa.r.s.e salt, the White Jade Cabbage’s water had already been extracted with a tiny vat of water. Upon seeing this, Fangzheng was in no hurry. He would add some more water in two days. Sensing the Spirit Qi in it he verified that indeed, the Spirit Qi had been retained in the vat and condensed onto the cabbage. There was no loss. On the contrary, it appeared to have a little more Spirit Qi now. Clearly the Buddha Vat also had the effect of gathering Spirit Qi. This also explained how Unrooted Clean Aqua was created.

Regarding this, Fangzheng was naturally overjoyed as he hummed a tune and went out. He sat under the bodhi tree and used his cell phone to check WeChat.

As expected, after not looking at it for a few days, there were some new messages.

One of it was from Zhao Datong, who had nearly fallen back when he came up the mountain. He was sending his greetings, to which Fangzheng casually replied. However since he wasn’t around, he didn’t persist.

The second one was Kinky Queen Zhu Lin. A web drama she starred in was about to air. She wished that Fangzheng would watch it if he had the chance. Fangzheng immediately replied, “Definitely.”

The third message was from movie star Queen Snow Eagle, Li Xueying. She started off with her own custom emoticon which was her looking abashed. “Fangzheng, things cropped up. The materials that come from Southeast Asia are stuck at the pier because of a typhoon. They probably won’t be s.h.i.+pped anytime soon. The renovation of the monastery will likely have to wait a bit…”

Fangzheng sighed with his head up when he saw this. He finally replied, “Amitabha. This Penniless Monk can wait. There’s no rush.”

No rush my a.s.s! Fangzheng roared inwardly.

Any monk would wish for his monastery to become bigger. Even Zen Master One Finger had wished that there would come a day when the monastery did well. Although Fangzheng wished to renounce asceticism, how could he not want to make the place he lived in better? Or have it look more decent? Besides, this was also one of Zen Master One Finger’s last wishes.

Li Xueying wasn’t online either.

Fangzheng checked the film crew group. Perhaps it was because the movie was done filming and the film crew had dispersed, but the group which had people chatting daily in the past was now quiet. After all this while, there were only about a dozen messages. They were basically a few greeting messages and a few emoticons.

After he closed WeChat, he sat under the bodhi tree to ponder about life.

At this moment, Lame Ma arrived. He was there to learn bamboo carving from Fangzheng. If Fangzheng was in the monastery, he would call Lame Ma to inform him. Lame Ma would then find time to come up for his education.

Seeing Lame Ma coming, Squirrel also jumped down from the tree. Lame Ma’s appearance indicated the beginning of Fangzheng’s cla.s.s. Although Squirrel was a lazy fellow who lacked perseverance, he had not missed a single carving cla.s.s. It was just that he only listened without doing any work…

Fangzheng got up and brought Lame Ma to the bamboo forest behind. He took the materials there and taught on the spot.