"No, thank you; I"m going to sit by Aunt Mary," she replied, looking rather shy and surprised.

"Allow me, missy," he persisted, "to pa.s.s you the strawberry-jam and the m.u.f.fins!"

"I"ll have some jam, thank you," she replied.

He looked round and chuckled. "Oh, I say; that little gal said "thank you" before she got it!" he exclaimed. "There ain"t no m.u.f.fins, and I"ve eaten all the jam!" which made Tommy choke with laughter.

Barbara flushed. "That"s a very stupid joke," she p.r.o.nounced severely, "and rude, too; it"s a pity you weren"t taught to behave better when you were young."

"So I was!" said the clown, with his mouth full.

"Then you"ve forgotten it," she said; "you"re nothing but a big baby, that you are!"

"Yah!" retorted the clown; "so are _you_ a big baby!" which, as even Tommy saw, was not a very brilliant reply. It was a singular fact about the clown that the slightest check seemed to take away all his brilliancy.

"You know you"re not telling the truth now," said Barbara, so contemptuously, that the clown began to weep bitterly. "She says I don"t speak the truth!" he complained, "and she _knows_ it will be my aunt"s birthday last Toosday!"

"You great silly thing, what has that to do with it?" cried Barbara, indignantly. "What _is_ there to cry about?" which very nearly made Tommy quarrel with her, for why couldn"t she be polite to _his_ friend?

However, the clown soon dried his eyes on the tablecloth, and recovered his cheerfulness; and presently he noticed the _Times_ lying folded by Tommy"s papa"s plate.

"Oh, I say, mister," he said, "shall I air the newspaper for yer?"

"Thank you, if you will," was the polite reply.

He shook it all out in one great sheet and wrapped it round him, and waddled about in it until Tommy nearly rolled off his seat with delight.

"When you"ve _quite_ done with it----" his father was saying mildly, as the clown made a great hole in the middle and thrust his head out of it with a bland smile.

"I"m only just looking through it," he explained; "you can have it now,"

and he rolled it up in a tight ball and threw it at his host"s head.

Breakfast was certainly not such a dull meal as usual that morning, Tommy thought; but he wished his people would show a little more appreciation, instead of sitting there all stiff and surprised; he was afraid the clown would feel discouraged.

When his papa undid the ball, the paper was found to be torn into long strips, which delighted Tommy; but his father, on the other hand, seemed annoyed, possibly because it was not so easy to read in that form.

Meanwhile, the clown busied himself in emptying the b.u.t.ter-dish into his pockets, and this did shock the boy a little, for he knew it was not polite to pocket things at meals, and wondered how he could be so nasty.

Breakfast was over at last, and the clown took Tommy"s arm and walked upstairs to the first floor with him.

"Who"s in there?" he asked, as they pa.s.sed the spare bedroom.

"Granny," said the boy; "she"s staying with us; only she always has breakfast in her room, you know."

"Why, you don"t mean to say you"ve got a granny!" cried the clown, with joy; "you are a nice little boy; now we"ll have some fun with her."

Tommy felt doubtful whether she could be induced to join them so early in the morning, and said so. "You knock, and say you"ve got a present for her if she"ll come out," suggested the clown.

"But I haven"t," objected Tommy; "wouldn"t that be a story?" He had unaccountably forgotten his old fondness for "sells."

"Of course it would," said the clown; "I"m always a tellin" of "em, I am."

Tommy was shocked once more, as he realised that his friend was not a _truthful_ clown. But he knocked at the door, nevertheless, and asked his grandmother to come out and see a friend of his.

"Wait one minute, my boy," she answered, "and I"ll come out."

Tommy was surprised to see his companion preparing to lie, face downwards, on the mat just outside the door.

"Get up," he said; "you"ll trip grandma up if you stay there."

"That"s what I"m doing it for, stoopid," said the clown.

"But it will hurt her," he cried.

"Nothing hurts old women," said the clown; "I"ve tripped up "undreds of "em, and I ought to know."

"Well, you shan"t trip up my granny, anyhow," said Tommy, stoutly; for he was not a bad-hearted boy, and his grandmother had given him a splendid box of soldiers on Christmas Day. "Don"t come out, granny; it"s a mistake," he shouted.

The clown rose with a look of disgust.

"Do you call this actin" like a friend to me?" he demanded.

"Well," said Tommy, apologetically, "she"s my granny, you see."

"She ain"t _my_ granny, and, if she was, I"d let you trip her up, I would; _I_ ain"t selfish. I shan"t stop with you any longer."

"Oh, do," said Tommy; "we"ll go and play somewhere else."

"Well," said the clown, relenting, "if you"re a good boy you shall see me make a b.u.t.ter-slide in the hall."

Then Tommy saw how he had wronged him in thinking he had pocketed the b.u.t.ter out of mere greediness, and he felt ashamed and penitent; the clown made a beautiful slide, though Tommy wished he would not insist upon putting all the b.u.t.ter that was left down his back.

"There"s a ring at the bell," said the clown; "I"ll open the door, and you hide and see the fun."

So Tommy hid himself round a corner as the door opened.

"Walk in, sir," said the clown, politely.

"Master Tommy in?" said a jolly, hearty voice. It was dear old Uncle John, who had taken him to the pantomime the night before. "I thought I"d look in and see if he would care to come with me to the Crystal----oh!" And there was a scuffling noise and a heavy b.u.mp.

Tommy ran out, full of remorse. Uncle John was sitting on the tiles rubbing his head, and, oddly enough, did not look at all funny.

"Oh, uncle," cried the boy, "you"re not hurt? I didn"t know it was you!"

"I"m a bit shaken, my boy, that"s all," said his uncle; "one doesn"t come down like a feather at my age." And he picked himself slowly up.

"Well, I must get home again," he said; "no Crystal Palace to-day, Tommy, after this. Good-bye."

And he went slowly out, leaving Tommy with the feeling that he had had enough of slides. He even wiped the flooring clean again with a waterproof and the clothes-brush, though the clown (who had been hiding) tried to prevent him.

"We ain"t "ad "arf the fun out of it yet!" he complained (he always spoke in rather a common way, as Tommy began to notice with pain).