Chapter 387: Side Story 1 - Spring has co...me, my a.s.s!

Translator: miraclerifle

"Seol-A, go out with me.”

It was probably the middle of the summer.

Whether it was because of the extreme heat or because Seol-A looked really pretty while walking in front of him...

Seol-A turned around after hearing that comment.

She was indeed beautiful with her long straight hair and pretty white face. She seemed shocked as her large eyes were opened wide.

“......What did you just say?”

Jaeha saw the look on Seol-A"s face, hid his perverted thoughts and responded with a calm expression on his face.

“What"s wrong? I"m being serious. I can treat you better than the Captain treats you.”

Well, the Jaeha at the time was one of the few Monarchs in the world as the Monarch of Fraud. He might have had confidence that he was better than Ju-Heon, but...

“Let"s be honest. What has that son of a b.i.t.c.h of a Captain even done for you? So go out with me......”

“Do you think that I am crazy?”

What Jaeha got back was a beautiful smile that was full of murderous intent.

And then...

“Honestly, other people might be able to say that but you cannot say that to me.”

“Huh? N, no, wait......ugh!”

Jaeha was sent to the hospital that day.

Of course, Jaeha could not say anything about it.

Why?

"Wow, you stole all of Seol-A"s savings last week and then had the b.a.l.l.s to say something like that?”

“.......”

That was right.

Jaeha himself admitted it as well.

‘I admit it. I totally admit that I am trash.’

He completely admitted it to the point that he would dropkick his old self thinking about it after regressing into this world.

“Yes, that’s right! I was trash! That was why it was understandable that I got punished and that Seol-A rejected me! I also admit that the Captain-nim stole all of the beautiful women too!”

Ju-Heon was one of the few men that he respected! It was because even as a fellow man, Jaeha thought that Ju-Heon looked cool!

He would not be grumbling in anger while being jealous of Ju-Heon because of that reason.

But he was so d.a.m.n envious so he prayed to the heavens!

‘Please give me just one good woman!

Ideally she would be a total babe like Irene or Seol-A, but I understand that is being too greedy so it doesn"t matter.

It is fine as long as it is a woman! Well...but please do take pity on me and let her be at least a little cute...!’

Had the prayers of the 27 year old been answered?

“Kyaaaa! Jaeha oppa! Oppa, we’re your fans!”

“W, w, what?”

“Oppa, I love you! I fell in love after looking at your paintings!”

He now had female fans! They were quite pretty as well!

“Jackpot, thank you for sending me not just one but a whole bunch! It is problematic that they are minors but I"ll just be patient for a few years! Hahaha!”

The cradle robber Jaeha laughed out loud. He wasn’t envious of that d.a.m.n Captain anymore.

"Who cares about total babes, the new trend is the fifty year olds dating the twenty year olds!”

But what?

“Waaaah, Jaeha oppa, please don’t kill me!”

Those angelic little girls started running away while crying. It was because of murder weapons that suddenly came flying.

“Waaah, it was true that people who get close to Jaeha oppa die!”

“It really was true about the women who got close to him dying!”

The daggers that flew over aimed for the girls while spiders came falling down from the sky in ma.s.s quant.i.ty.

“Kyaaaa! Poisonous spiders?!”

The pretty little girls all ran away while Jaeha could only plop down on the ground as his legs went weak.

He knew very well who was responsible for this.

How could he not?

"Aigoo, dear lord! I am thankful that you sent me a woman for the first time in ten years! I"m also super thankful that she’s super hot!”

He cried in angst while pulling out a tarantula that crawled into his underwear.

"But this ain"t riiiiiiiiiiiight! Come on!”

That was right.

Jaeha’s life(?) was still being threatened by Jack the Ripper.

How long had it been?

When had Jack the Ripper, no, Julian’s sister Nina’s odd actions started?

“Is that rumor true?”

“I heard that anybody who gets close to the Monarch of Pushoverness will die?”

“Apparently it"s really dangerous for women to get close to him?”

Ju-Heon tilted his head in confusion at this odd rumor.

He had just taken care of the apocalypse artifacts and returned from Chaos after six months.

‘I guess something weird happened to the Pushover while I was gone?”

Julian scowled immediately while the rest of the team members laughed.

Whether Ju-Heon noticed that or not didn’t matter as he asked in a serious tone.

“Is that Pushover b.a.s.t.a.r.d okay?”

The team members laughed even louder. They wondered why their Captain was worried about the stupid pushover, but the reason was obvious.

‘He needs that idiot to restore the throne and the palace now.’

“Ah, you don’t need to worry much about it. The person responsible for it is Nina...”

“What? Nina?”

Ju-Heon urgently glared at Julian as if he wanted an explanation for this bulls.h.i.t.

“What the h.e.l.l? Your sister is still aiming for the pushover b.a.s.t.a.r.d?!”

“.......”

Julian"s expression was quite the spectacle.

Of course, it was true that Nina had been chasing Jaeha saying she wanted to kill him. That child was still Jack the Ripper.

‘But I heard her Un-known was removed and she got her emotions and memories back now.’

"She’s not a weapon of murder anymore. Why is she still chasing him?”

Julian"s face turned completely rotten while the others were rolling on the floor laughing.

Irene whispered in Ju-Heon’s ear.

“It is possible that Miss Nina might have a crush on Mr. Jaeha.”

“W, what......?!”

Ju-Heon rarely became this surprised.

"Wait, then are you saying...”

Thunderbolts crackled as he said that.

Craaaaaack!

“!”

It was Julian.

“Yeah, Captain, no. That"s absolutely not it. That’s not the case so I"m going to turn you into an electric roast if you say anything else about it.”

Julian was smiling gently but he looked ready to kill Jaeha.

Maybe that was to be expected.

‘That b.a.s.t.a.r.d and the pushover were bitter enemies.’

They were like cats and dogs.

The two of their personalities and occupation made it that way. Jaeha was a forger and a scammer who tricked people. Julian was a lawyer and an appraiser who sought out the truth.

There was no way for the two of them to have a good relationship.

The just Julian hated the scamming Jaeha while Jaeha, who lied as much as he ate, saw Julian as a thorn in his eyes for always finding evidence of his fraud.

‘You d.a.m.n criminal!’

‘You’re just a fake pretending to be good too!”

The two of them used to growl at each other whenever they met and Julian was victimized more than anybody else.

His entire fortune would disappear, he was sold off to the enemies, he even received severe penalties and punishment as well.

‘But he sued Jaeha each time and received a ton of money as compensation so I guess they’re even.’

This past relationship was the reason Julian was not happy with Jaeha joining their team again after regressing to this timeline.

Then he finds out that his sister, someone who he cherishes more than his own life, is chasing after Jaeha?

She was now chasing after him because of romantic feelings?

‘I"m surprised there hasn"t been a murder yet.’

But Ju-Heon seemed quite amused.

‘The most entertaining things in life are watching fights.’

Because of that...

“Hey Kongming, Kongming. Should I let you borrow a Disaster-Grade apocalypse artifact? Hmm?”

"Are you crazy?!”

The rest of the team smacked Ju-Heon.

Ju-Heon was quite amused with this situation, but Jaeha was not having any fun at all.

“Aigoo, I was wrong. Father... I have sinned. Please forgive me for my sins!”

Jaeha even went to confess his sins to a priest.

Of course, the priest he was confessing to was flabbergasted.

“You crazy b.a.s.t.a.r.d. What the h.e.l.l are you doing?”

Jaeha tearfully shouted back to Ilya.

"Can"t you tell?! I"m confessing my sins!”

‘Did he go crazy?’

“I haven"t been a priest in a long time.”

Ilya tried to leave and Jaeha grabbed onto him as if his life was on the line.

“Aigoo! Please don’t be this waaaay! Can you just sprinkle some holy water on me or something? I thought you were some kind of Exorcist. Can you please do something about her? Hmm? I won’t call you Great Sage or Lord Eunuch anymore! Ugh!”

“Who the h.e.l.l are you calling a eunuch?!”

An angry Ilya tried to kick Jaeha away.

However...

Swooosh!

“!”

Ilya had dodged quickly as a dagger came flying at him. The dagger had been thrown from behind him!

‘The window?’

Ilya almost fainted after looking at the window.

He could see Jaeha’s stalker...no, Nina obsessively staring at Jaeha from outside.

She looked toward him and her eyes looked angry and she had daggers in her hands...maybe because he tried to kick Jaeha.

Her gaze seemed to be saying that she would not forgive him if he hurt Jaeha.

“.........”

Well...that was what it seemed like, but Jaeha ended up the victim(?) of her vicious rain of daggers.

"f.u.c.k, that hurt like h.e.l.l!”

Jaeha grabbed Ilya and pleaded his case.

"See, father! She"s planning on killing me and everybody around me! Hmm? Please take care of her. Hey Seol-A, save me!”

Seol-A, who was in the room as well, sighed and walked over with a box of pizza.

“Okay. So eat this first. You haven’t eaten anything all day because you were restoring the Captain-nim’s artifacts, right? You should eat it before it gets cold.”

Seol-A tried to give him a slice but Jaeha stopped her.

“No! You can"t eat that! Don"t even touch it!”

“!”

“That b.i.t.c.h left this pizza here!”

Seol-A was shocked.

“What? What? ...Nina did?”

“Yeah! I"m 100% certain that it is poisoned!”

An anxious Seol-A blinked a few times as she asked.

“Uhh...uhh... then should I go buy you a burger or something?”

“It’s fine. I"m not feeling well......”

At that moment...

Clang!

“!”

The window suddenly broke and Nina burst in. The team members all freaked out.

“Nina!”

Nina grabbed the slice of pizza and tackled Jaeha. Jahea fell back and...

Boom!

Nina gently straddled the fallen Jaeha. She then started shoving the pizza into the flailing Jaeha’s mouth!

“Mmph, mmmmmmph!”

Jaeha groaned as if he was suffocating.

Seol-A gasped and started to run toward him but Ilya was laughing.

“But it looks like it’s not poisoned since you are fine.”

Jaeha turned pale.

“No...... this is definitely poisoned.”

“What?”

“It tastes like pesticide...”

“?!”

Jaeha’s face plopped back down. Nina started shaking as if she received a big shock.

Why was she acting like this?

‘I followed the recipe!’

Nina was dragged away by Seol-A while Jaeha was crying about how everybody around him was like this.

“f.u.c.k, that son of a b.i.t.c.h of a Captain breaks a perfectly fine chair to make me work my a.s.s off.”

The others who were his so called friends found out the weakness of the phoenix and tried to kill him!

The total babe he had in his life was a homicidal maniac who was trying to kill him!

"Aigoo, my poor life!”

Nina looked anxious while being dragged away by Seol-A.

‘I need to quickly feed him...!’

She seemed very upset that Jaeha was starving. Maybe this should have been expected.

‘The phoenix will be destroyed if he doesn"t eat!’

That was right.

The phoenix artifact required Jaeha’s energy on a daily basis to stay active.

It was like how oil or wood was necessary to keep a fire going.

The thing that was most used was the fat inside Jaeha"s body.

This was the reason he never gained any weight despite overeating.

Of course, this wasn’t necessarily a good thing.

Why?

‘The phoenix artifact requires a tremendous amount of calories every day.’

That was why he would become extremely skinny if he didn’t pay attention to it.

And if it lacked the fat or food to use as energy...

‘It will use the energy it saved to maintain his life as fuel too!’

Nina’s pupils were shaking frantically.

The phoenix will deactivate once it runs out of all energy.

Basically, the phoenix"s weakness was hunger!

This was the reason Jaeha was able to commit suicide in the past. It wasn’t easy to break a contract with a Heirloom, so he could only starve himself until the phoenix stopped working.

Anyway, Nina, who recently figured it out, was trying really hard to keep Jaeha from starving.

But it didn’t matter.

“Hurry up and call the police! Here’s a terrorist using chemical weapons!”

Jaeha threw the pizza away while shaking.

Ilya clicked his tongue as he watched.

"Don’t you remember how she saved you from Goebbels during your private exhibition? Are you sure she’s not interested in you?”

Jaeha gasped in disbelief.

“Are you crazy? A beauty like that being interested in me? She just got rid of Goebbels because she didn"t want someone else to kill me! She will only be satisfied if she kills me with her own hands!”

“.......”

“Anyway, she"s acting like this because I used her as a model for my art.”

“What? You used her as a model?”

“Yeah! Why can’t I?! She’s beautiful as a model! I even told her about it!”

That was probably when it started. Nina’s att.i.tude had changed after seeing the painting Jaeha made of her.

“She must have been tired before that as she was calm for a while. But she started aiming for me more frequently since seeing the painting and terrorized the women around me! f.u.c.k, is this some kind of revenge?

Does she not want to see me happy? She should have told me if she didn’t like it!”

Seol-A sighed. ‘How grotesque must he have drawn her?’

"What kind of painting did you draw? Did you draw her as a homicidal maniac?”

"d.a.m.n it, it"s that one over there!”

Jaeha pointed to the painting on the wall with frustration.

The two others dropped their jaws in shock after seeing the painting.

On the other hand, Nina was blushing while peeking through a window again after Seol-A threw her out the door.

Jaeha might have done it because she was his team member’s sister, but... Jaeha had always given her food and medicine despite her potentially being his worst enemy(?).

It had been shocking to her.

She was thankful that he took such good care of her and then...

‘This is me?’

‘Yes. You are really pretty. You are so pretty that someone could fall in love with you at first glance.’

That was the conversation they had had in the past. Ilya and Seol-A clicked their tongues after taking a look at the painting.

“You drew this for her...”

“And said that this was how Nina looked in your eyes?”

“Yeah. What’s wrong? I can’t do that?”

“......You"re definitely in the wrong.”

“Definitely.”

There was a painting of an angel that looked like Nina on the wall. The quality was uselessly high and she looked so beautiful that anybody would get fl.u.s.tered if someone gave this to them saying that this was how he saw them.

“......Don’t you think that you basically confessed your love to her?”

“You even said that you fell for her at first glance?”

Jaeha became anxious.

“W, what? Hey! I meant that I fell for her as an artist! Let"s be honest! Nina’s proportions are no joke! There’s a reason she used to be a model in the past! She’s the ideal model of my dreams! Proportions are perfect! Muscle tone is perfect! Everything is perfect! d.a.m.n, I would have asked her for her body if she wasn’t Jack the Ripper...”

“.............”

They couldn’t blame a twenty year old girl who had just gotten her emotions back for feeling the way she did.

“Anyway, you were in the wrong.”

“What? What?!”

“Good luck.”

"What?!”

Nina burst in through another window at that moment.

“!”

She then ruthlessly started ripping Jaeha"s clothes off.

Riiiiiiiip!

“Ahhhhhhhhhhh!”

Jaeha, who instantly turned naked(?) screamed in fear.

“Waaaaaaaaaah! She"s trying to be a human trafficker now!”

Nina’s eyes flashed and Jaeha cried like a prey about to be eaten by a predator.

“No! My organs are importaaaaaaant!”

It seemed as if spring was still far away for our dear restorer.