Watashi No Shiawase Na Kekkon

Chapter 8 Conflicted feelings

Watashi no Shiawase na KekkonChapter 8 Conflicted feelings

「Are you in, Miyo-sama?」

「Yes」


A voice came from behind the sliding doors. When Miyo opened the door, she was greeted with the sight of Yurie with a wooden box filled with sewing tools. 

「I"ve brought the sewing tools.」

「Thank you.」

It was a beautiful, intricate wooden box that looked expensive. Miyo began to worry if she can really use something like that. And she expressed her thoughts frankly to Yurie. To which Yurie laughed in response.


「Of course, you can use it... Ah, but if you"d like some new ones, I could get them for you.」

「N-No! This is more than enough.」


To begin with, Miyo shouldn"t have arrived with nothing on her. She should have at least brought her own needle and thread. Being reminded of her penniless and pitiful self, the urge to cry arose once more.

Upon receiving the box of sewing tools, she remembered what she had to ask Yurie.

「Erhm, Yurie-san.」

「Yes?」

「...Do you think Dannsama is... angry about what happened this morning?」

「Angry? Bocchan is?」

「Yes.」


When she suddenly burst into tears after being addressed by him, he must have felt annoyed by it. Thinking back to her sorry state, Miyo lowered her head, embarra.s.sed and dejected. If she were as attractive as her stepsister, men would probably be more than happy to rush to embrace her and comfort her. However, she was not. Her crying face must have been unsightly to watch.

Even though for Kiyoka"s sake, it"s best for her to be kicked out of this house as soon as possible, she still felt apologetic for showing them such an unpleasant sight. 

That was how Miyo felt.


「There"s no way!」


Miyo"s eyes rounded in shock at the sudden strong denial.


「Such a thing is impossible.」

「But...」


Her existence had always been regarded as something offensive. When she cried and that ugly face of hers became distorted, it probably became more unbearable to watch. Even though she should have somehow forgotten how to cry. Only shedding tears unconsciously in her dreams. 

If she continued to misconduct herself every morning. More than the fear of being thrown out, she"d want to run away and hide.


「Miyo-sama. crying is not a bad thing.」


Yurie said in a gentle tone.


「Rather than that, it"s much worse to hold back your tears and bottle up all your feelings.」

「...Is that so?」

「Yes. That"s why you should let them flow out naturally when they come. Bocchan won"t get angry at you for that.」


Was that really the case?
——No, if that"s what Yurie claims then it should be true. Though Miyo was absolutely bewildered by what she heard. However, she couldn"t test it out immediately. And she was afraid that it"d be too difficult for her to return to her old life if she indulged in herself.

That"s right, she was terrified of her father, so she couldn"t come clean about herself. But one day, Kiyoka will eventually find out that she didn"t have Paranormal Vision. And when that day comes, it"ll be the day she leaves.

Don"t be confused. The life here is only temporary...
Despite telling herself so, Miyo couldn"t stop her heart from melting from the warmth extended to her. 


「...Well then, Yurie will be in the kitchen. Please call for me if you need anything, Miyo-sama.」

「Ah... Are you going to prepare lunch? If that"s the case, I will help.」

「Nono, please stay here Miyo-sama. I will call for you when it"s ready.」


Yurie hurriedly stopped Miyo who wanted to help and left the room. 


(...Even though it"s something I should do, yet it was pushed back1.)


She really was a waste of s.p.a.ce.

However, despite feeling depressed, Miyo was not going to waste the time Yurie had made for her. She took out the torn kimono and a needle and thread. As she focused all her attention on mending the tear, she was completely unaware of the pair of eyes observing her from the gap in the sliding doors.


***

It"s been a few nights since Miyo first arrived at the Kudou residence.


「...What do you normally do during the day? If it"s just ch.o.r.es, you should have a lot of time left over, don"t you?」


They were in the middle of dinner when Kiyoka suddenly asked his question. 

Miyo had finally gotten accustomed to this house.
Although the conversations between the two were few and far between, she would have two meals with Kiyoka. Once in the morning and once at night.
Perhaps, this didn"t seem like a big deal to most, but for Miyo, it was something that took a great deal of courage out of her. It was a tall wall to overcome.

On the other hand, the time she spent during the day when Kiyoka was out was very calm and peaceful. 
Since it was a quaint little house, if everything goes by smoothly in the morning, she"d be done with ch.o.r.es before noon. As for food and other items delivered directly to the house, so there was no need to go out shopping. And her afternoons were completely free.
Additionally, Yurie would return early once everything was done, so she would be left alone at home.


「I would read... some magazines I borrowed from Yurie-san.」


What she said was only part of the story.
She would also do some reparations, but she"d feel troubled if he were to ask her what she was mending. Therefore, she consciously chose to leave it out. If she were to say that she was fixing up her worn and torn clothes. It might be misunderstood as her asking for new clothes and she didn"t want that.

Miyo didn"t want to be hated by Kiyoka and Yurie so she tried to be honest with them as much as possible. But no matter what, she also didn"t want to talk about her family and how she had lived her life thus far. So she was still hiding stuff from them.

What a contradictory feeling.

While she wanted to be kicked out as soon as possible, she didn"t want to be hated. She didn"t want to lie or hide but neither did she want to talk about what took place at the Saimoris.

What was Kiyoka thinking about as he watched Miyo with her head lowered? He simply nodded his head with a「I see」before falling silent.
Then, dinner was coming to an end soon


「...Actually, I was thinking of going out during my next rest day.」

「Yes.」


Why mention that out of nowhere? But Miyo decided to just answer first, for the time being.


「You haven"t gone out to town since you came here, have you?」

「Yes.」

「...Do you not want to go?」


(Eh...)


Being asked if she wanted to go out... In all honesty, Miyo didn"t quite know either.
Miyo, who never attended a girl"s school, basically never went out of the Saimori premises ever since she graduated from upper primary2 education. Indeed, she had missed the hustle and bustle of the city at first. But sometimes, reminiscing the times when she was free would bring her a bout of melancholy. 

And now, with no money to spend. There was nothing she could do even if she went to town. Compared to feelings of excitement, the feelings of resignation were stronger. When she first arrived at the Kudou residence from her house, the streets were also pretty empty. And besides, she was way past the age of being excited by vibrant and lively streets. 


「Ah, I can"t go...」

「Why not?」

「I don"t have any reason to... And I might be a ha.s.sle for Dannsama, going out with you...」


Hearing that, Kiyoka sighed deeply.


「You won"t be a ha.s.sle and you don"t need to have a purpose for going out. You just have to accompany me.」

「B-But, won"t I be a bother?」

「You won"t be a bother at all. You can just wear the same clothes you wore on the first day... Are there any more concerns?」
(lilies: omo he actually remembers what she wore hehe)


If he"s said it till this extent, Miyo couldn"t refuse any further.


「No...」

「Then it"s set... Gochisousama.」


Kiyoka got up with a stiff expression and brought his dishes to the kitchen.


(Did I give Dannsama yet another shock...)


Miyo felt crestfallen that it took such an effort for Kiyoka to invite her. She disliked her own ambiguity and indecisiveness. She couldn"t recall how to properly interact with others, even though she could"ve done it properly in the past. 


(But either way, I"ve already decided to go.)


If that"s the case, she would have to make proper preparations in order to not embarra.s.s Kiyoka on the streets. 

And thus, she finished the rest of her dinner with a mixed feeling of antic.i.p.ation and unease.

1. Raws "自分のことなんて、後回しにしなくちゃいけないのに" the return of my cluelessness↩
2. Written as "高等小学校"↩

Finally, some minuscule progress in their relationship _(´ཀ`」 ∠)_
Meanwhile, some snippets of Kiyoka being shy in the latest manga chap:

I was thinking of using my ko-fi page to keep you guys updated? "Cause there"s quite the lag with email subscriptions. Since I usually upload at PST 1.30 so I set the time to sent out emails around that time as well. But if I were to have any more posts after that time, you"ll have to wait till the next day to get the notification. With my Ko-fi page, it"s also easier if I wanna make short posts abt other stuff as well
Anyways, after all my excuses, this is actually just me evil ploy force people to follow my Ko-fi page WAHAHAH

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