She could hire herself out as a bad-guys detector, she thought sourly, change her name from Water Lily to Dowsing Rod. Yes, I just love these people, I"d follow them anywhere, do anything for them-call the cops, they must be white slavers and kiddie p.o.r.nographers.

Her mind gave her an image of Rosemary Muldoon, smiling at her, praising her for her hard work, and she felt a pang of disloyalty and guilt. There was no way she could think of Rosemary as a truly bad person. A big part of her still wanted to believe that Rosemary had been sincere about the work, that whatever else she had been involved with as the head of a Mafia family, Rosemary really had wanted to do something for the victims of the wild card virus.

Yes, she thought fiercely, there was plenty of good in Rosemary, she wasn"t like all the others. Maybe something awful had happened to her that had driven her to accept and embrace the Mafia. She could understand that; G.o.d, could she understand it.

Her mind shoved aside the memory and came to rest on the man named Croyd. She still had the phone numbers he"d given her. Anytime you want some company, someone to talk to ... I bet I could listen to you for hours. Maybe even all night, but that would be up to you, Bright Eyes. No one had ever showed quite so much panache flirting with her. Mirrorshades Croyd, calling her Bright Eyes; she was unaware of smiling at the memory. There had been no link exposed between him and Rosemary"s organization, Either it was buried too deeply or he"d been another idealist like herself. Since she wanted to believe it was the latter, that most likely meant it was the former-and she was still tempted to take out those phone numbers and surprise him by calling him. There was no way she could ever really bring herself to do it, which could well have been why he"d given her the numbers in the first place.

Her whole life was upside down and backward. Maybe that was what the wild card virus had really done to her, fixed it so she would live as the b.u.t.t of every practical joke the world could play on her.

Abruptly Sal"s voice seemed to be speaking to her in her head: You"re not being fair with yourself. You never believed the Masons were good, you weren"t blind to what the Astronomer really was. And as for Rosemary, she was just a whole lot smarter than you, street smart-she took advantage of you and that should be her shame, not yours. If she even has the capacity to feel shame.

Yeah, Salvatore Carbone would have said something very like that to her if he"d been alive. The fact that she could come up with it herself must have meant she wasn"t completely hopeless, she thought. But the idea didn"t improve her mood or bring her appet.i.te back.

"Excuse me, Jane," said a voice behind her. It was Emile, who had started at Aces High not long before she had and was now the new maitre d". She wiped at her wet face hastily, glad that she had managed to gain more control over her tendency to pull enormous amounts of water out of the air when under stress, and turned around, trying to smile at him politely. "I think you"d better come down to the loading dock."

She blinked at him in confusion. "Pardon?"

"A situation has developed and we think you"re the only one who could handle it."

"Mr. Worchester always-"

"Hiram isn"t here and frankly we doubt he"d be much use if he were."

She stared up at Emile tensely. Emile was one of the most vocal (and unforgiving) critics of Hiram"s behavior, a group that seemed to gain more members every day, all of them disgruntled employees and all of them, to her complete dismay, more in the right than she wanted to admit.

Ever since his return from the tour Hiram had been ... strange. He seemed to have little real interest and no enthusiasm for Aces High these days, acting as if the restaurant were some awful albatross around his neck, a burdensome annoyance that was keeping him from something of greater importance. And he was behaving abominably toward his staff, his almost courtly manners had disappeared, and he ranged from distracted to abusively rude. Except for herself. Hiram was still friendly toward her, though it seemed to be an enormous and obvious effort to control himself and focus his attention. He had always been attracted to her; she"d known that since the night he had saved her life; and she felt guilty for not feeling the same way toward him. Being obligated to someone who cared for her when she couldn"t return the affection was one of the most uncomfortable situations she could imagine. She had repaid him for the expensive clothes, and she had made every effort to be the best employee he could have asked for in exchange for the security of the job (and the generous salary) he"d given her. Lately that meant taking up for him, even against people who had known him far longer than she had and supposedly had many more reasons to be devoted to him. Some of these were the most virulent, maybe because they had so many more better days to remember at Aces High. If only she could get through to Hiram, she thought, looking into Emile"s cold green eyes. If only she could make him understand how badly he was eroding his own authority and credibility and respect, he would be able to halt this terrible decline, turn it around, and become Hiram Worchester, Grand Master Restauranteur, again. Right now, it was as if he were dying.

"What kind of situation?" she asked carefully.

Emile shook his head in a small, tight way that was more shudder than anything.

"It"s easier if you just come," he said. "What we need right now is quick, decisive action from someone who has the authority to take it. Please. Just come down with me."

Taking a deep breath, she forced composure on herself and went with Emile to the elevator.

The scene on the loading dock was like something out of a Marx Brothers movie, only not quite so funny-like something out of a remake of a Marx Brothers movie, she thought, watching the dock crew work furiously at reloading a truck while two employees of the Bright.w.a.ter Fish Market kept unloading it (or perhaps re-unloading it, while a third Bright.w.a.ter employee stood on a box nose to nose with Tomoyuki Shigeta, the new sushi chef. Bright.w.a.ter"s man was a short, stocky nat who appeared to have high blood pressure; Tomoyuki was a slender seven-foot ace who, during the period of the new moon, lived as a dolphin between the hours of eleven P.M. and three A.M. Together they looked like a comedy team rehearsing an act, although Bright.w.a.ter"s man was doing all the yelling, with Tomoyuki occasionally putting in a couple of soft words that seemed to provoke the other man to higher volume.

"What"s going on here?" Jane asked in her most businesslike voice. No one heard her. She sighed, glanced at Emile, and then hollered, "Everybody, shut up!"

This time her voice cut through the air, and everyone did shut up, turning toward her almost as one.

"What"s going on?" she asked again, looking up at Tomoyuki. He made a slight bow.

"Bright.w.a.ter has delivered a shipment of bad fish. The entire load has gone over, and it went over quite some time ago." Tomoyuki"s cultured, Boston Brahmin tones held no hostility or impatience. Jane thought he was the most professional person she had ever met, and she wished she were more like him. "Some time before it was loaded onto this truck for delivery here. Unless Hiram has another source, we will be unable to offer the twilight sushi bar this evening."

Jane tried to sniff the air without being obvious about it. All she could smell was overwhelming fish, as though the greater part of the ocean had been caught and dumped in the immediate vicinity. She could not tell whether the odor was good or bad, only that it was offensively strong, and if the load stayed on the dock much longer, it would go bad if it weren"t already.

"Look, lady, this is fish and fish stinks," said Bright.w.a.ter"s man, rubbing his upper lip directly under his nose, as though to emphasize the point. "Now, I been deliverin" loads of stinkin" fish to Hiram Worchester and a good many other people for a long, long time, and the stuff always smells like this. I don"t like the way it smells, either, but that"s just how it is." He glanced up at Tomoyuki in disgust. "Fish is supposed to smell bad. n.o.body"s gonna tell me different. And n.o.body"s gonna tell me to take my load back unless it"s Hiram Worchester himself."

Jane nodded very slightly. "Are you aware that Mr. Worchester has empowered me to act as his agent for all business transactions having to do with the Aces High menu?"

Bright.w.a.ter"s man-Aaron was the name on his shirt pocket-tilted his wide head and looked at her through half-closed eyes. "Just say it, okay? Don"t try and jack me around with double-talk, just look me in the eye and spit it out."

"What I meant," Jane said, slightly embarra.s.sed, "is that any decision I make is a Hiram Worchester decision. He will back it one hundred percent."

Aaron"s gaze traveled from Jane to Emile to one of the dock crew and came to rest on Tomoyuki, who stared down at him impa.s.sively. "Oh, for chrissakes, what am I lookin at you for? You"ll back her up a hundred percent."

Tomoyuki turned to Jane, raising his eyebrows in a silent question.

"Is the fish bad, Tom," she said quietly. "Yes. Definitely."

"Is that what you would tell Mr. Worchester?"

"In a minute."

She nodded. "Then it goes back to Bright.w.a.ter. No arguments," she added as Aaron opened his mouth to protest. "If it isn"t off this loading dock in fifteen minutes, I"ll call the police."

Aaron"s broad face twisted into an expression of hostile disbelief. "You"ll call the cops? On what charge?"

This time Jane"s sniff was as audible as she could make it. "Littering. Illegal dumping. Air pollution. Any of those would stick. Good day to you." She turned sharply and fled back into the building with her hand over her mouth and nose.

The smell had suddenly become too nauseating to bear.

"Well done, Jane," Tom said as he and Emile caught up with her at the elevator.

"Hiram himself couldn"t have carried it off much better."

"Hiram couldn"t carry it off, period," Emile muttered darkly.

"Don"t,Emile," she said, and felt him staring at her in surprise.

"Don"t what?"

The elevator doors slid open and they all got in.

"Don"t badmouth Hiram. Mr. Worchester, I mean." She pushed the b.u.t.ton for Aces High. "It"s bad for morale." "Hiram"s bad for morale, in case you hadn"t noticed. If he"d been on top of things, Bright.w.a.ter wouldn"t have even thought of trying to pa.s.s their rotted stuff off on us. It just shows the word must be out on him, everyone must know he"s no good anymore-"

"Please, Emile." She put a hand on his slender arm, looking into his face imploringly. "We all know something"s wrong, but every time you or one of the other employees says something like that, it diminishes the chances of his being able to put it right again. He can"t recover from whatever is wearing on him if we"re all against him."

Emile actually looked mildly ashamed of himself. "G.o.d knows if anyone wishes him well, I do, Jane. But the way he is these days, he reminds me of a-well, a junkie," He shuddered. "I detest junkies. And all addicts."

"What you say is very true, Jane," said Tom, from the opposite corner of the elevator where he was standing with his arms folded against his sleek body, "but none of it gets us a twilight sushi bar for this evening, and Hiram never saw fit to let me in on his backup plan for this kind of eventuality. So unless you know what to do, or can find Hiram and get him to tell you, Aces High is actually going to renege on an offering. Which may well be its ruination. A little bird told me Mr. Dining Out has reservations here tonight, specifically to review the sushi bar for New York Gourmet. I don"t have to tell you what it would mean for Aces High to get a bad review."

Jane rubbed her forehead tiredly. This must be what they call black comedy, she thought. When everything just gets worse and worse and you think you might start laughing and never stop till they take you away.

Casually Tom moved to the other side of the elevator to stand near Emile. Just as casually she turned away so they could touch without her seeing. No one was supposed to know they were lovers, but she wasn"t sure why they were so fanatical about keeping it secret. Something to do with AIDS perhaps, she thought. The perception of all gays as AIDS carriers had brought renewed persecution to h.o.m.os.e.xuals. She could almost be glad that Sal hadn"t lived to see that.

"I can find Hiram," she said after a bit. "I"m pretty sure I know where he is.

Emile, you keep order until I get back." She handed Emile the spare key to Hiram"s office. "You won"t need this, but just in case of something. When I come back, we"ll have a sushi bar. The selection might be a little more limited than we"d like, but we can carry it off if we do it with enough ... um ... panache.

Can we, Tom?"

"I am panache," Tomoyuki said, his face completely impa.s.sive while Emile suppressed a smile. The sight of the two of them made her feel suddenly and unbearably alone.

"Good," she said miserably. "I"ll just get my purse and be on my way." The elevator stopped to let them off at the Aces High dining room. "With any luck you"ll hear from me in about an hour."

"And without any luck?" said Emile, pressing, but, she could tell, not unkindly.

"Without any luck," she said thoughtfully, "do you think you could get sick, Tom?"

"I could have done that to begin with," he said, a little curtly.

"Yes, but then we would not have tried. Would we." She tried to look up at him as if they were eye to eye. "We"ll continue to try until there"s nothing to try for. Do you understand?"

Both men nodded.

"And one more thing," she said as they started to turn away. "From now on, refer to him as Mr. Worchester." Emile frowned slightly. "To everyone, even to me. It will help morale. Even ours."

Emile bit his lip tensely and then, to her relief, nodded. "Understood, Jane. Or should that be Ms. Dow?"

She let her gaze drop for a moment. "I"m not power mad, Emile. If you really understand, you know that. I"m trying to save him. Mr. Worchester. I owe him that." She looked up at him again. "We all do, in our own particular ways."

Tom was staring at her, and for the first time she saw a fondness in his smooth, cold face. Feeling awkward, she excused herself to retrieve her purse from Hiram"s office and call a cab. There was a sense of victory within her as she rode down in the elevator again. The temperamental Tomoyuki liked her, no small achievement, and she had managed to get Emile on her side, at least for a while.

He must like her, too, she thought, almost giddy. Perhaps it was a terrible weakness to want to be liked so much, but she certainly was getting a lot accomplished because of it. Or she would if she could just get Hiram to come through on the promises she"d made, or implied.

The cab was waiting in front of the entrance for her; she climbed in and gave the driver an address in Jokertown, ignoring the double-take he gave her. I know, I don"t look like much beyond a bite for the Big Bad Wolf, she thought at him acidly as she settled back in the seat. Wouldn"t you be surprised to know that I"ve killed people-and that I could return you to the dust, too, if you gave me any trouble.

She suppressed the thought, feeling ashamed. She"d lied when she"d said she wasn"t power mad. Of course she was-it was hard not to be when you had an ace ability. It was the dark side of her talent, and she had to struggle against that all the time, or she might become like that awful Astronomer, or poor Fortunato. She wondered briefly where he was now and if he remembered the way she did.

They stopped at a red light and a ragged joker with enormous donkey ears threw himself halfway onto the hood to wash the windshield. Blocking out the sound of the cab driver"s yelling at him, she tried to compose herself for the inevitable confrontation with Hiram. She wasn"t supposed to have this address, and she wasn"t supposed to know whose address it was. Hiram might just fire her and throw her out without letting her get a word in edgewise, while Ezili stood behind him laughing.

Jane dreaded facing Ezili-Ezili Rouge everyone called her. The scuttleb.u.t.t around Aces High was that she had been some kind of superprost.i.tute in Haiti whom Hiram had "rescued" from the crushing poverty of the slums-i.e., she was virtually an ace in the s.e.x department and any man (or woman) who had ever had the experience was spoiled for anyone else. And Hiram had supposedly had the experience. There were other rumors-she was the ex-toy of a superdrug kingpin, in hiding; she was a drug kingpin herself; she had blackmailed Hiram or somebody into bringing her to the States; and any number of other things.

Whatever the truth might have been, Jane didn"t like her and the feeling was mutual. The one time Ezili had come to Aces High, it had been hate at first sight for both of them. She"d been completely taken aback by the overbearing heat that seemed to pour out of her, and she was completely intimidated by her strange eyes-what should have been whites were blood red instead. Ezili haughtily addressed her as Ms. Dow, misp.r.o.nouncing it to rhyme with cow instead of low, with a sneering intonation that produced an instant rise in her. What made it worse was the fact that Hiram really did seem to be under her influence.

Whenever he had looked at her or even mentioned her, Jane could read a bizarre mixture of desire, subservience, and helplessness in his face, although occasionally an expression of pure loathing surfaced, making Jane suspect that at heart Hiram really didn"t like Ezili any more than she did.

"Hey, gorgeous!"

She looked up, startled, to see the joker pressing his face against the back window.

"Get on outta that cab, baby, and I"ll take you to heaven! I got more than just the ears of a donkey!"

The light changed and the cab lurched forward, knocking the joker away. In spite of herself Jane found herself almost wanting to laugh. There was no comparison between the joker"s crudeness and the genteel come-ons she politely turned away at Aces High, but for some reason something about it had touched her. Maybe just because it was so funny, or because the joker was a victim refusing to kneel to his affliction, or because he hadn"t actually come out and said what else it was he had. Someone earthier than she would have laughed out loud. I"m just a hothouse flower, she thought, a bit ruefully. A hothouse killer-flower.

The cab turned a corner sharply and went down two blocks before pulling over in the middle of the third. "This"s it," the driver said sullenly. "You mind hurrying?"

She looked at the meter and pushed several bills through the slot in front of her. "Keep the change." The door was stuck, but the driver showed no inclination to get out and help her. Disgusted, she kicked it open on the second try and got out. "Just for that, I won"t bother telling you to have a nice day," she muttered as the cab roared away from the curb, and then she turned to look at the building in front of her.

It had been renovated at least twice, but nothing had helped; it was just plain ugly and shabby though obviously solid. It wasn"t going to fall down unless the Great Ape kicked it down, except, she remembered, the Great Ape didn"t exist anymore. Five stories, and the place she wanted was on the top floor. She"d grown up in an apartment on the top floor of a seven-story tenement building, the kind with no elevators, and she"d sprinted up and down all seven flights without stopping several times every day of her young life. Five floors wouldn"t give her any problem, she thought.

Her sprinting gave out in the middle of the second flight, but she did manage to keep going without pause, albeit more slowly, catching her breath on each landing. The darkness was relieved by the frosted skylight directly over the squaredoff spiral of the stairs, but the light was anemic and depressing.

There was only one apartment on the top floor. Hiram might as well have had his name on it, she thought as she paused at the head of the stairs, panting a little. Instead of the drab, grayish door that all the other apartments had, there was a custom hardwood job with an ornate bra.s.s knocker and an old-fashioned handle instead of a doork.n.o.b. The lock above it was completely modern and secure but made to look just as refined. Hiram, Hiram, she thought sadly, does it pay to advertise in a place like this?

What would he say when he opened the door and saw her? What would he think? It didn"t matter. She had to make him see what was happening because then it would save him-save his life. It would be a bit different from the way he had saved hers, but Aces High was his life, and if she could save that for him, then she would have repaid him for her own life. The balance between them would be restored after all, whereas before she hadn"t thought there"d be any way to do that.

No way but one, and she couldn"t. The feeling wasn"t there. She knew Hiram would have welcomed her regardless, that he would be considerate and tender and funny and loving and everything a woman could want in a lover. But ultimately it would be horribly unjust to him, and when it came to its inevitable end, it would be painful and scarring to both of them. Hiram deserved better. Such a good man deserved someone whose devotion would match his, someone who would enter fully into every part of his life and give him all the pleasures of attachment. He needed someone who could not live without him.

Instead of someone who would have died without him? her mind whispered nastily, and she felt another hard pang of guilt. All right, all right, I"m a b.i.t.c.h and an ingrate, she scolded herself silently. Maybe it"s some fatal flaw in me that I don"t love him, as good as he is. Maybe if grat.i.tude could make me fall in love with him, I"d be a better person.

And maybe he wouldn"t be holed up in a Jokertown apartment with poison like Ezili Rouge, either.

G.o.d, Jane thought. She had to talk to Hiram. She couldn"t believe he would really want to keep company with such a creature. She had to help him get away from her, find some way to bar her from Aces High. Whatever she had to do to help him, anything, anything at all, she would do it especially if saving Hiram meant she never had to see that woman again.

She forced herself to walk along the landing to the apartment and gave the bra.s.s knocker three sharp taps. To her dismay, it was Ezili who answered.

Ezili was dressed, if that was the word for it, in a whisper of transparent gold material over nothing. Jane looked steadily into Ezili"s face, refusing to let her gaze fall below the woman"s chin, and said in her driest, most controlled voice, "I"ve come for Hiram. I know that he"s here, and it"s imperative that I see him."

A slow hot smile spread across Ezili"s face as if Jane had said the one thing in the world she could possibly have wanted to hear. Swaying a little, as though dancing to some inner music she moved back and gestured gracefully for ane to enter.

The apartment was a surprise. The living room had been carefully decorated in a completely Haitian motif that also reflected Hiram"s high tastes. Jane found herself unable to look at anything except the deep brown carpet, exactly like the one in Hiram"s office. The place was so Hiram, but Hiram changed, Hiram the stranger who had come back from the tour. With Ezili, who was moving leisurely around her like some sort of predatory creature whose favorite dinner had walked obligingly into its claws.

"Hiram"s in the bedroom," she said. "I guess if it"s imperative that you see him, then you can see him there." Standing in front of Jane, she lifted her arms to run her hands along the back of her own neck, practically thrusting her large b.r.e.a.s.t.s into Jane"s face. Jane maintained her steady, even gaze, refusing to look. Something shiny flashed on Ezili"s right hand as she brought it around.

Blood. Jane"s severe composure almost broke. Blood? What in G.o.d"s name could Hiram have gotten himself into? Ezili"s reddened hand undulated through the air in a pointing gesture. "That way. Just walk in and you"ll see him. In bed."

Jane marched past her to the shadowy doorway and stepped into the bedroom. She cleared her throat, started to speak, and then froze.

He was not in bed but kneeling on the floor next to it in an att.i.tude of prayer.

But he was definitely not praying.

At first she thought she had surprised him in the act of giving a piggyback ride to a small child, and it flashed through her mind that it was his child by Ezili, the pregnancy, birth, and growth drastically foreshortened by the wild card infection, which had also made the child a hideously deformed joker.

She took a step toward him, her eyes filling with tears of pity. "Oh, Hiram, I...".

The look on Hiram"s face went from rage to agonized sorrow, and she saw what it really was on his back. "H-H-Hiram. . ."

Her voice died away as a bizarrely alien expression of curiosity spread over Hiram"s face. It was not the expression of a father interrupted while tending to his child, and no child would have been fastened to a father"s neck by the mouth. The wizened creature on Hiram"s back quivered in a way that reminded her of Ezili"s movements. Even as she turned to bolt for the door, she knew it was too late.

She thought she must have weighed at least three hundred pounds when she hit the floor.

Later on, when she thought of it, when she could bring herself to think of it, she knew that it could have been at most half a minute before Hiram moved from the bed to where she was anch.o.r.ed to the floor on her stomach. It was completely silent in the apartment for what seemed to Jane like an excruciating stretch of time before Hiram finally rose and came to stand over her where she lay with water pouring off her, soaking her clothes and the carpet.

She tried to say something to him, but all the breath had been knocked out of her by the fall. In a minute, when she could talk, she would tell him he hadn"t had to do that, that no matter what kind of trouble he was in, she wouldn"t give him away to anyone, and she would try to help him in any way she could-- There was a quiet rustle as Hiram lay down on the carpet next to her, facing her with that same peculiar expression of curiosity. He doesn"t recognize me, she thought with horrified amazement. The creature was still on his back, and she squeezed her eyes shut against the sight.