Chapter 295 - Am I Beautiful?

The servants Marie and Eva were the first ones to enter the Queen"s chamber after Drayce left. When they looked at their queen sitting in the bed, looking dazed, they could not help but wonder what she was thinking about.

"Good morning, Your Majesty," Marie and Eva greeted together.

It pulled Seren out of her thoughts and she looked at the two women standing in front of her. "Good morning."

"Your Majesty, would you like to sleep for some more?" Marie asked as it was expected for a woman to rest till late after the wedding night.

"No, I would like to have a bath," Seren replied.

While Marie and Eva went to the side chamber to prepare a bath for their queen, Seren picked up the red stone bracelet from the table and wore it out of habit. After tightening the loose belt of her robe, she climbed out of the bed and went towards the particular window where Drayce was standing when she woke up. She looked in the direction he was looking at earlier, but there was nothing special to be seen.

She wondered what he was looking at so intently. What was he thinking at that moment?

She was sure something was troubling him and she wished he would share his worries with her. Even when he came to tease her and looked at her with a pleasant smile, she could still feel that a part of his mind was somewhere else.

"I wonder if the problem is related to me, and if it is, why does he want to hide it? Is it about how he changed the previous night? He was scary but…he doesn"t need to hide it from me." She sighed deeply and continued to stare outside the window.

After a while, her servants returned to the bedchamber. "Your Majesty, your bath is ready."

Nodding lightly, Seren followed them to the bath. Just as they reached the door of the side chamber, Seren paused mid-step before telling them, "I want to be alone."

The two servants could only nod and stayed outside as their queen entered the bath. As usual, everything she needed was already arranged inside.

As she was heading towards the bathtub, Seren turned to look at the mirror hung at the wall of the chamber. Seeing her veiled appearance in the mirror, she pushed back her long hair over her shoulder, exposing the sides of her delicate neck. Afterward, she loosened the knot of her robe and pulled down the top part with her slender fingers, revealing her collarbones and the top part of her chest. Her neck was covered in colored patches. When she further lowered her robe, the sunlight coming from the gla.s.s windows allowed her to clearly see the situation of her chest and stomach. Due to those bruise-like marks, her fair skin was barely visible.

She didn"t think that the marks were bad or ugly; rather, they reminded her of how she got those marks. A sudden blush covered her face. She removed her veil and touched her cheeks which donned a pretty scarlet shade.

She remembered Drayce"s words that he said to her this morning????— "You are beautiful, my Queen."

Seren calmly observed her face, her fingertips lightly brushing across the delicate features that only she and her nanny had seen.

"Am I really beautiful?"

She didn"t know what she should think. "Other than Martha, no one has ever told me that I am beautiful. But I know Martha always said it to make me feel good, and she had watched me grow up, so she"s biased. Brother Cian said it once in a while but he is my brother and he just wants to make me feel good. Others? No one has ever seen me without a veil. How can others say I am beautiful when no one has ever seen my face?"

She touched the blue gold scale at the right corner of her forehead before tracing towards the right side of her neck.

"But I have scales, and people look disgusted whenever they see my skin. Back in Abetha, no one even dared to look me in the eye after seeing these scales on my skin. I never heard what the people in Megaris have to say about these scales, but I think it"s because they"re probably too scared. Saying anything bad about their Queen can offend the royal family.

"I look ugly and disgusting, right? Beautiful maidens should have white unblemished skin, just like all the royal ladies and daughters of n.o.bility that I have met... But my husband called me beautiful. Why? Is he like Martha? He didn"t see my face but he still praised me, unlike others. If he gets to see me, will he change his mind and think I am ugly?"

Her thoughts were chaotic. Before this, Seren was never concerned about how she looked. After all, she was always in her tower????— how her hair was done, what clothes she"s wearing, how her skin looked, none of them mattered because no one could see her anyway. She used to ask Martha once in a while if she was ugly but it was because she wished to know why others called her ugly. She did not really understand how society defined beauty and had a vague understanding of what qualified as one. But now the reason was different ????— she was concerned if she was really ugly.

She looked at the scales on the back of her palm. "Do these scales really make me look ugly?" She caressed them with her other hand. "But I don"t mind them. They are what identifies me as a witch, the only thing that connects me to my mother, and I don"t want to give up my ident.i.ty. I don"t want to hide these scales. I won"t change what I have been like for all my life." She finally looked at herself with a determined look. "If to be ugly is to embrace my ident.i.ty, then I don"t mind being ugly."

Seren completely let go of her robe, causing it to fall on the floor, and stepped toward the bathtub. She gingerly stepped inside the now lukewarm water and made herself comfortable inside, lowering herself till the water briefly covered her shoulders before leaning against one side. Although she still felt stinging pain when her skin touched the water, it didn"t feel as painful as during the bath she shared with Drayce.

The reason she didn"t let Marie and Eva help her was obviously because she didn"t want them to see her body covered in bites and bruises. Although they would probably keep quiet, she would have felt embarra.s.sed for her body to be scrutinized. Besides, she didn"t want them to think Drayce was being cruel to her.

"Since when did I start to become concerned about what others will think about him?" Seren sighed but then thought it was the right thing to do.

She then started cleaning herself with a soft cloth. She looked down at her chest; she was sure her skin wouldn"t return to its usual color anytime soon. Just as she raised her leg up a little, she noticed there were also bruises on her calves. As she checked further, there were bite marks on the inner side of her thighs as well.

Each revelation of the marks on her body seemed to refresh her memories from the previous night.. Her body shivered as she remembered how much she liked his touch. She finally got the answer to one of the questions she used to ask herself after reading those adult books????—why would one want to get hurt and why would they like it?