Chapter 37: Ma.s.sage! But then, a drunkard!

TL: kizen
ED: Filip/Gecko

AN: A cat ma.s.sage (´・ω・｀) I want one too [TL: Me too]

「Nya~ (Oh dear, that was really unfortunate, wasn"t it, Routsan?)」

「Wan wan(You really like to rub that part in, don"t you……?)」

「Nya~(Ehh~, that was just Routsan reaping what you"ve sown you know~? You were just treating Ren-sama so coldly even though she was so pa.s.sionately courting you after all)」

Right now, I"m sprawled out on top of the huge rock that"s spurting out the hot water in order to cool my body.
The cold surface of the boulder felt good against my skin which was in pain from being bitten all over the place.

「Wan (How unreasonable…… Even though I was just speaking about my honest feelings……)」

「Nya~ (There are cases when it"s necessary to tell a kind lie you know~? And what are you unsatisfied about her? I"m sure that Ren-sama will be a good mother you know~?)」

「Wan wan! (Like I said, I"m not into furries and nor am I a pedo! Well, I was surprised she could transform into a human though)」

If that little girl was a decade older then I might have been tempted.

But still, even if we do make one, we"re different species so how would that even work?
Are monsters allowed to crossbreed or something?

Well, that"s something that doesn"t have anything to do with me, who will live as a pet forever though.
It"s enough for me to be the target of Ojou-sama"s affections.
If the number of fluffy puppies increases then wouldn"t they steal all of Ojou-sama"s affection?

It feels like I just raised some kind of flag there but I"ll just ignore it.

「Wan (Haaー. I"m really exhausted for a lot of reasons……)」

I rested my chin on top of my forefeet and sunk down into the boulder.

Why am I this tired when we entered this hot spring in order to relieve our fatigue?
Recently, I had been working in order to maintain my work-free pet life.
That statement contradicts itself, doesn"t it?

Well, even so, it was all settled thanks to Hekate.
And in the end, my comfortable pet life was defended. ～fin～

「Nya~ (Yeah yeah. I shall give the tired Routsan a cat ma.s.sage as a present desu. How does this feel sir~?)」

Nafra who was lying stretched due to exhaustion got on top of me and started rhythmically moving her front paws to ma.s.sage me.

「Wafuu (Ahhhhー The way you humbly said that was the beeest……)」

「Nya~ (Pat patー, pat patー)」

The stimulation from being able to feel her paw pads is unbearable.
Ahhー, I"m being cured~.

While I was enjoying the ma.s.sage, sitting at the bottom of the boulder was Ren who was totally sulking. She was drinking some liquor together with Hecate who was sitting next to her as they talk about something.

This is just a trivial thought, but seeing such a young girl vigorously downing a cup that quickly kinda feels like we"re committing some kind of crime.
That girl actually is a thousand-year-old spinster though, so there are no problems about it.
A pedo and a spinster…… How pitiable……
Uuu, I"m starting to tear up for her.

「You…… I do not know what you may be planning but……My husband is……」

「How regrettable…… I"m sure you…… to me sometime……?」

I couldn"t hear them because of the sound of the hot water flowing out the boulder.
I heard them talking about a husband, but I"ll just pretend I didn"t hear anything.
Even if I did, I didn"t.

Well, their conversation is probably just filled with complaints about me though.
Like being a good for nothing, a pervert, or a lickorist if I had to name a few.1

*Sniffle*
It"s fine.
I can just have Ojou-sama comfort me after all.

「Nya~ (It"s funny. Routsan is already such a good-for-nothing, all the way down to the core, isn"t he~?)」

「Wan wan (I"m aiming to be the world"s number one mongrel after all!)」

Ojou-sama is glad to fluff me and I"m just as happy being fluffed.
It"s a win-win relationship where both of us can be happy.
That"s what a pet-master relationship is.

A pet"s job is to be loved.
Or better yet, a pet who is working is no longer a pet.
Does this mean that I, who proudly revels in a pet"s life hasn"t followed the proper decorum for a pet?

「Wan wan! (Well, I should just stop thinking about that. Right, Nafrkun?)」

「Nya~n (I don"t know what you"re talking about, but what I do understand is that Routsan is completely useless~)」

「Wan wan! (That"s right, that"s right. You can praise me some more you know?)」

「Nya~n (Ahaha~. Good for you, Routsan~)」

With that, our loud laughter resounded into the moonlit night.

「Chuー (Why jaa…… Hic…… Why doesn"t my dear…… hic…… want to pair up with me no jyaa…… hic……)」

Ren, who had already been overcome by her drunkenness, was riding my back as we were dropped off on the mansion"s courtyard.
It was a lot of trouble persuading her to go back to her rat form.

「Wan wan (Let"s just be good friends, alright?)」

「Chuー chuー! (No jaa! Let"s breed no jyaa! I"m fine with getting one or two new fetishes since you are such a helpless pervert no jya!)」

「Wan wan! (Who are you calling a helpless pervert! I"m just a nice guy with an extensive number of interests, okay!)」

「Chuー! (Then why am I not included in those interests!? Even if our species are different, we"re both monsters right!?)」

「Wan wan! (I keep telling you, I"m not into furries!)」

「Chuー! (But you were also acting distant with my human foooorm!!! You huge eccentric perveeeeeeeeeeert!!!)」

Since Ren kept on crying after that, I covered her mouth to quiet her down.

「Chuー…… (Uu… My dear, could you walk a bit slower no jya…… Some things might come out…… ……Huh, is this morning sickness by chance……!?)」

「Wan (No it"s not, you spinster. It"s just you getting over your head even though you"re a thousand-year-old spinster……)」

Haa. I sighed while looking behind.

「See you later, Routkun. I enjoyed myself tonight~」

Hekate, who brought us back here with transfer magic, removed her wide-brimmed witch hat and bowed down while pinching the side of her long skirt.

「Wan (Ou, later~)」

「Nya~ (Please avail our cat ma.s.sage services next time you are on a trip okay~?)」

Nafra jumped on Hekate"s shoulder as she gave me a suspicious beckoning.

「Wan (How much would it cost?)」

「Nya~ (I"ll give you a fair price desu!)」

「Wan! (Scary!)」

Just how much is she going to charge me?

After a white light shined by Hekate"s feet, the two of them slowly became transparent then eventually disappeared.

「Wan (Well then, let"s go home and sleep. Ojou-sama is waiting)」

「Chuー…… (What is it with that little girl…… Is she that much better of a woman than me……?)」

You"re much more of a little girl when you change into your human form though.
No wait, even mentally, Ojou-sama is a lot more mature than you……
What the heck was this spinster doing in the span of a thousand years?

I decided to just leave Ren, who was still grumbling on top of my head, alone as I entered the mansion through the kitchen entrance.

「Wan (Come to think of it, I feel like this door has been getting narrower for some reason)」

My body rubbed the door frame again this time so I"m certain that I got bigger.
I really need to come up with something about that soon.

As I entered the kitchen, I found the old man who fell asleep with recipes scattered all over the desk.
As usual, I took a blanket from the linen room and put it over his shoulders.

「Nnah……?」

Ah, c.r.a.p. I woke him up.

「Nー……? It"s just you Routa. What are you doing at this hour? Snitching food again?」

After smiling at me, the old man stretched his arms overhead.
That caused the blanket that was over his shoulders to fall down.

「Ah, are you the one who"s been putting this over me……? You"re really clever aren"t you?」

He thanked me then used his burly hands to rub my head.

「Wan wan! (Aw, don"t mind it! Anyway, although it"s fine to be enthusiastic about work, you should make sure that you sleep on a proper bed!)」

I answered the old man while wagging my tail.2

「I know. I got it. I"ll make sure to rest in my room. As for you, try not to go out too much at night. Now go and return to Ojou-sama"s side」

Did my thoughts get transmitted to him I wonder? The old man put out the light of the crystal lamp3 and went to his room.

We went our separate ways and I went upstairs, to where Mary-ojousama"s room is.

Once I reached her room, I stood up on my rear feet then turned the door know with my forefeet.
I gently opened it and gently closed it.

The room was totally quiet, so quiet that you could only hear Ojou-sama"s breathing.

While making sure that I don"t wake up Ojou-sama, I slipped into the blanket and lied down next to her.

Ah, I couldn"t do it quietly. The bed started creaking after all.

「Uun…… Routaa……」

As usual, Ojou-sama hugged me then went back to sleep.

「Kuun (It really was a long day, wasn"t it……?)」

I rubbed my head in order to adjust the shape of the pillow.
While I was doing that, I heard Ren mumble in her sleep.

「Chuー…… (Dear…… I absolutely won"t give up……)」

「…… (Yeah yeah)」

I"ll acknowledge her gutsiness.
I"ll just acknowledge it though, I won"t accept it!

Starting tomorrow, I"ll finally be able to go back to my usual lazy pet life.
Being able to live idly every day is such a wonderful thing.

It seems like I"ll have a good dream today.
Good night~.

(´・ω・｀)。 o ○ (Even in his dreams, he"s being courted by the spinster)