Yesterday
Chapter 18
昨天 by 風弄 Chapter 18
Yesterday by Feng Nong.
"ShengSheng, do you love me?" I hear a familiar deep voice beside my ear. I turn around. The one standing in the middle of the brightly shining sunlight is YuJiang. Smiling simply and honestly with his dashing brows. His tenderness making me heartbroken. I foolishly say:
"Yes, I love you." That"s right, I love YuJiang, it"s pointless to doubt this.
"Hahaha .......... " He suddenly looks up to the heavens and laughs out loud, on top of the world. I"m so shocked that I"m incapable of moving. The sunlight fades away. The darkness floods over me ....... I suddenly open my eyes, my body already ice-cold in fright. I"m in the middle of the room, lying on the bed. It"s very quiet, I can actually hear the summer cries of the small insects outside the Rong mansion. It was only a nightmare. No. I turn my head and see YuJiang at my side. Peacefully with eyes closed, sound asleep. It was not a nightmare. I sigh soundlessly. It is reality, not a nightmare. If only I can wake up and realize it was all a dream, how good would that be?
I look at YuJiang silently. A strand of black hair hangs down to his eyes, covering up the scar on his forehead. A prominent high nose bridge. The black framed gla.s.ses that I first saw on him has long ago disappeared to who knows where. His arm is hanging over my chest as if he wants to always be sure that I"m still by his side. This mood, this scene is stirring up my feelings. I unconsciously stretch out my hand and gently caress his face. His lips are thin but graceful. I touch them lightly, afraid that he would wake up. I quietly observe him for a while before daring to trace the shape of his lips. The first kiss, under the moonlight, in the car, he was full of uneasiness, extremely terrified. While I was smiling like Yang GuiFei brought to life.
"YuJiang ......... " I say his name softly, afraid of waking him. The tears that refused to flow during the day are now tumbling out without warning. I hastily use my hand to stop them, wetting my entire palm. ShengSheng, why are you shedding tears? The arm that is just lying across your chest can pull out your beating heart with its five fingers at any time. Don"t you know that? I don"t dare to look at his unguarded sleeping face again, that is the most effective weapon against me. Maybe my biggest enemy is really myself? I turn away and I feel a sudden grab on my palm. I quickly turn around and find myself face to face with YuJiang"s pitch-black eyes. He stretches out his tongue and lightly licks my moist palm.
"ShengSheng, you"re finally crying over me." He asks: "You loved me all along, isn"t that right?" I simply turn my body away, not letting him see my face. He asks: "ShengSheng, I love you so much, what should I do?" I turn back to face him and look at him intently:
"Let me go, YuJiang. Once you let me go, we may have another chance. Once my heart is free, maybe I will love you again." A spark lights up in the depth of his eyes but disappears instantly.
"No I can"t, ShengSheng. Anything but that." Dejected, I turn away and bury my face under the pillow. "ShengSheng, you"ve forgotten how we were before. I always recall those happy times just like it was yesterday." I cover my ears tightly. No! No! I beg you to not bring up yesterday. I am completely defeated. I beg you to not bring up yesterday, YuJiang. YuJiang says: "ShengSheng, except for that, I will give you anything. Please love me, ShengSheng." His voice carries a resentful pitifulness. I tell myself: Don"t give in, ShengSheng, I beg you to not give in. I inhale deeply and say softly:
"Alright, other than that, there if one other thing that will let me love you again."
"Tell me." He sits upright on the bed and looks at me seriously.
"A magic mirror. Give me a magic mirror." I only need to ask it one question before I can freely and openly forget about the past. No matter what you have done to me, no manner how you exploited me. I only need one answer. One sentence in reply: YuJiang loves you, with all his heart and soul, and will never betray you. I will then resolve myself, cut this spiderweb, and throw myself into your arms. YuJiang smiles bitterly:
"ShengSheng, there is no such thing as a magic mirror in this world." I say:
"That"s right, therefore I don"t love you." We stare blankly at each other for a moment. YuJiang suddenly smiles gently and holds me tightly in his arms. He strokes my hair and comforts me:
"ShengSheng, you"re tired, go to sleep OK?"
"OK, I"ll sleep." I say to YuJiang in his arms: "YuJiang, please grant me one thing."
"Tell me, other than leaving me, I can accept everything else."
"Please don"t enter my dreams again tonight, I"m very pressured, very tired, I only wish for a good sleep." YuJiang suddenly stiffens. He softly says:
"ShengSheng, sometimes your words are really hurtful." Is that so? Looks like you also have a heart, that"s definitely worthy of a celebration. I hear YuJiang"s voice: "ShengSheng, it"s you who forced me. ShengSheng, don"t blame me. I love you so much .......... "