Chapter 78 – Exactly the Same
This chapter was sponsored by Nilesh Goutam, Adam Tracy, Estela Pérez, Hannu Hautalampi and William w.a.n.g! Let’s all give our thanks!
TL: Conservative estimate for today – 2 chapters.
My heart dropped. What did this old guy want? Usually he would tell me to go hunt, drag p.o.o.p around, find people, but today, today he wanted to have a drink with me? Perhaps he also knew that I was nearing level 40 and going for a promotion soon, so “Scavenger” was no longer the appropriate job for me?
Whoosh!
“Experience +7000”
Immediately after I put down the two porcupines, a ray of light appeared, and I gained a decent amount of experience. I also took out the peppers from my bag, threw them in the sky, and unsheathed my sword. With a flash of the sword, the peppers got shattered, and the smell of the spicy peppers flooded the air as they fell with other spices onto Dalin’s barbecued pig. The flavor got absorbed, and without a doubt, the pig must be very tasty.
Whoosh!
“Experience +5000”
Another ray of light and my experience rose by another chunk. Hehe, leveling up like this, it was really a method that was to be liked!
I gave a porcupine to the army officer, and I got another thousand of experience points in return. I dragged the other one to a nearby river to skin and discard the dissolving fur. After that, I found some green onions and stuck them through the porcupine and returned to the camp. I started another campfire and before long, the juices from the porcupine started seeping out. They cracked as they fell into the fire and a pleasant aroma started to spread as well.
I sat across Dalin, and respectfully grasped my sword.
“Come boy…”
Dalin threw something at me and a water bag made out of a wild goat’s stomach landed on me. Good wine was filled inside it but inside the game, drinking wine didn’t add any stats, and it was just for taste. Just some virtual stuff.
I opened the cap, and raised my head to take a drink. The sweet taste of the wine spread around in my mouth. It was indeed good.
“How’s the taste?” Dalin laughed.
I nodded, “Mm, very strong taste, good wine…”
Dalin stroked his beard, and smiled, “That’s natural, this is the fine wine brewed by the palace wine masters, and not a lot of people in the world can even drink it. Hmph, if I didn’t have to rush last time, I would have grabbed more from Fire Cloud City’s palace!”
I was shocked, “You stole this?”
“Cough cough, just borrowing!”
“Okay…” I raised my head to drink some more, then stood up with my sword in hand and said, “Instructor, give some more missions to me, I want to do some more things for you!”
Dalin bent over, stretched, grabbed a pig leg, and took a huge bite. Drinking the wine, he laughed, “Boy, my [Binding Chains] is an original skill; I hope you won’t put it to waste. I’ve traveled around the continent for my life, but I haven’t learned a huge bunch. I’m most proficient in [Binding Chains], so I can only teach you this…”
“I understand. Instructor, give me the mission…”
“Okay!”
Dalin stood up, looked at me, and said, “First mission, a prehistoric huge bird has taken a c.r.a.p 5 miles south-west of Dragon City. The p.o.o.p has a radius of 7 meters, bring it back. Second mission, there’s a small town called “Bysickle” straight south of Dragon City. In the small town, there’s a woman called Heisha that sells tofu. She lost her pet white cat, so you help her find it. Third mission, at the bottom of Dragon City there’s a blind old soldier who has a broken leg and is going to die soon from sickness. He has always been single and his only death wish is to touch a woman’s breast. You are to help him to find a woman. Fourth mission…”
I quickly held my hand out, “Wait wait, hold on instructor. 3 missions are enough, let me finish them first…”
“Okay boy, I’ll be expecting good things…”
“I got it…”
“…..”
……
After 10 minutes, I arrived at the south-west of Dragon City. It literally looked like a catastrophe happened here. The small trees were burning with flames and the ignition point was a huge pile of bird p.o.o.p. It was really huge, having a diameter of around 15 meters or so. It looked just like a meteorite…This bird p.o.o.p had an abundant of fire attributes in it. Also, the bird seemed like it ate something wrong, I saw an over 50kg huge pea within the p.o.o.p, apparently the bird was unable to digest that.
I walked up and a wave of intense nastiness attacked my nose. It was so smelly! I waved my sword around, and cut into the feces. My determination didn’t waver and cutting it like a pizza, I cut it into ten or so pieces and dragged piece by piece back. This time the pile was a bit large and trying to bring it all back in one go wouldn’t be a smart idea.
I dragged a piece of the bird p.o.o.p, excitedly returned to the camp and handed the feces to the army officer. I got plenty of experience and I joyfully ran back, continuing to pick up the rest of the p.o.o.p.
After an hour or so, I was finally at the last piece. This piece was especially heavy; it was the section that had the pea!
After dragging it for a while, I turned around, and unsheathed my sword. Screw it, I would just cut the pea off. So annoying and so tiring!
Clang!
When my sword contacted with the pea, sparks appeared, and my arm also went numb. Sigh, what was this? What kind of hard object couldn’t be cut by my sword?
I went in closer, and used my hand to wipe away the p.o.o.p on the “pea”. But this wasn’t a pea! I scratched away the feces around it, and used my sword to chisel it a bit, and I found out that this was a 1 meter long stone tablet! There were even small words written on it, but sadly they were words from ancient times, and I couldn’t read them!
“Hup!”
I held the tablet, and it was at least 50 kg. Luckily I was a full-strength warrior, and carrying it didn’t cause me too many problems. Also, under normal circ.u.mstances, I could easily carry 50kg in real life. I waved my hand, and tried to get information on this stone tablet, but I only got a vague description——
【Ancient Tablet】: This is a tablet that recorded old martial secrets and it’ll collect experience with the player. When it collects enough experience, it will fuse with the player and become a skill. You must sign the contract to bring this around.
……
Looking at these words, I didn’t even know what to think. This luck. Even when I was picking up p.o.o.p I got treasure. What was this madness…?
Whatever, I would sign the contract first!
Whoosh!
I slid my finger on the edge of the sword, and dripped my blood from my finger onto the tablet. Instantly, the area around me shimmered and the tablet suddenly shone and glowed. Countless words surrounded me, and quickly afterwards, a ray of light stabbed into my body and a system notification appeared, saying that I had signed a contract with the tablet and it was impossible to drop or leave it behind.
With a clang, a heavy, dark stone appeared on my back and if you looked at it, it looked like a stone carving of a Chinese piano. It actually made me look refined and gentlemanly. Next to the stone was the sheath of my sword, so it wouldn’t affect my movements in battle. Although I could feel the weight of it, my moving speed wouldn’t change by much.
I continued and dragged the last piece of bird feces to the army officer and handed in the mission. Instantly, experience points came in with a glow of light——
“Experience +5000!”
“[Ancient Tablet] experience +5000”
Indeed, the tablet got as much experience as I did. Sadly, I couldn’t see how much experience points the tablet needed in order for it to be completed, but there was no rush, I could take it slow.
……
I finished the first mission and my experience bar landed on 49% at level 39. Following that, it was the second mission; help that tofu women find her cat.
After two hours, at the west part of the small town, I found a bard traveling around with the small cat. I retrieved the cat and also gave the bard two knocks on the head. He knew he was in the wrong, and reflected on it, so I let him go. I carried the white cat back to finish my mission, and happily collected the experience points.
The third mission was kind of difficult. The crippled old soldier under Dragon City wanted to touch a woman’s chest and such a shameless request became my mission.
I sat in the forest and I was almost tearing my hair off.
Should I ask for help? That was not too great. Although I did know quite a few good women in the game, Wan Er and Cheng Yue etc., if I asked them to let the old soldier touch them, I would probably instantly get killed… As for Qing Qian and Wei Liang, those two, I didn’t even know if they were adults or not, how could I bear to do that to them…
Finally, I made a painful decision; I would make a woman myself!
I went into the forest, and killed some soft-skinned wild rabbits. I cut off their fur and they were very soft. After that, I sewed together a human-shaped thing, and I used some gra.s.ses and such to fill it up. After that, I took some mud from the riverside and drew a face. Actually, I wanted to draw the face of a Lin Zi Ling, but sadly I didn’t draw well enough. Whatever, I would just use it.
TL: 林志玲 If you want to Google it. For the fur, it’s probably because the rabbit isn’t a monster.
Finally, in the Ba Huang City stores I bought two steaming buns, and stuffed them in the chest location. After doing that, I brought this “woman” back out. Ahh…I was just too talented… On the road, countless amounts of players shot shocked glances at me——
“Brother, your girlfriend is leaking air, run slower!”
……
Under Dragon City, the old soldier’s eyes could barely be opened. Sleeping in the small wooden house and looking at the woman made by Li Xiao Yao, his old tears start to drop. He reached and touched these two steaming buns, and said to me emotionally, “Oh righteous, young warrior. You are the pride of Dragon City, letting me fill in one of my life’s regrets. This woman, it is really as beautiful as you say she is?!”
I nodded, “That I don’t know, who is the most beautiful woman you have ever seen?”
The old soldier said while crying, “When my eyes were still clear, the most beautiful woman I’ve seen is the Leader of the Dragon City Knights—— Captain Frost. Her beauty is just like moonshine, always glowing in my heart…”
I said, “Mm, this woman, she is exactly the same as Frost, trust me…”
“Okay. Thank you!”
Whoosh!
The glow of experience fell on me, and at the same time, golden light shone over me, and I finally rose to level 40!
……
Finally! As I was carrying my “girlfriend” and preparing to leave, I found Frost behind me; both of her eyes were filled with killing intent while she glared at me, seemingly being able to see through everything. She knew!
I was done, now I couldn’t even stay in Dragon City……