COLD COPPER TEARS.

by Glen Cook.

1.

Maybe it was time. I was restless. We were getting on toward the dog days, when my body gets terminally lazy but my nerves shriek that it"s time to do something-a cruel combination. So far sloth was ahead by a nose.

I"m Garrett-low thirties, six-feet-two, two hundred pounds, ginger hair, ex-Marine-all-around fun guy. For a price I"ll find things or get the boogies off your back. I"m no genius. I get the job done by being too stubborn to quit. My favorite sport is female and my favorite food is beer. I work out of the house I own on Macunado Street, halfway between the Hill and waterfront in TunFaire"s midtown.

I was sharing a liquid lunch with my friend Playmate, talking religion, when a visitor wakened my sporting nature.

She was blonde and tall with skin like the finest satin I"d ever seen. She wore a hint of unusual scent and a smile that said she saw through everything and Garrett was one big piece of crystal. She looked scared but she wasn"t spooked.

"I think I"m in love," I told Playmate as old Dean showed her into my coffin of an office.

"Third time this week." He drained his mug. "Don"t mention it to Tinnie." He stood up. And stood up. And stood up. He"s nine feet tall. "Some of us got to work." He waltzed with Dean and the blonde, trying to get to the hall.

"Later." We"d had a good time snickering about the scandals sweeping TunFaire"s religion industry. Playmate had considered a flyer in that racket once but I had managed to collect a debt owed him, and the cash had kept him alive in the stable business.

I looked at the blonde. She looked at me. I liked what I saw. She had mixed feelings. The horses don"t shy when I pa.s.s, but over the years I"ve been pounded around enough for my face to develop a certain amount of character.

She kept smiling that secret smile. It made me want to look over my shoulder to see what was gaining on me.

Dean avoided my eye and did a fast fade, pretending he had to make sure Playmate didn"t forget to close the front door behind him. Dean wasn"t supposed to let anybody in. They might want me to work. The blonde must have charmed his socks off.

"I"m Garrett. Sit." She wouldn"t have to work to charm the wardrobe off me. She had that something that goes beyond beauty, beyond style-an aura, a presence. She was the kind of woman who leaves eunuchs weeping and priests cursing their vows.

She planted herself in Playmate"s chair but didn"t offer a name. The impact was wearing off. I began to see the chill behind the gorgeous mask. I wondered if anybody was home.

"Tea? Brandy? Miss?...Or Dean might find a spot of TunFaire Gold if we sweet-talk him."

"You don"t remember me, do you?"

"No. Should I?"

The man who could forget her was already dead. But I left the remark unspoken. A chill had dropped over me, and the chill had no sense of humor.

"It"s been a while, Garrett. Last time I saw you I was nine and you were going off to the Marines."

My memory for nines isn"t what it is for twenties. No bells rang, though that was more years ago than I want to remember; I"ve tried to forget the five in the Marines ever since.

"We lived next door, third floor. I had a crush on you. You hardly noticed me. I"d have died if you did."

"Sorry."

She shrugged. "My name is Jill Craight."

She looked like a Jill, complete with amber eyes that ought to smolder but looked out of arctic wastes instead. But she wasn"t any Jill I ever knew, nine years old or not.

Any other Jill, and I would have come back with a suggestion about making up for lost time. But the cold over there was getting to me. My restraint will get me a pat on the head next time I go to confession. If I ever go. Last time was when I was about nine. "You got over me while I was gone. I didn"t see you on the pier when I came home."

I"d made up my mind about her. She had stoked the fire to get past Dean, but it was out now. She was a user. It was time she stopped decorating that chair and distracting its owner from his lunch. "You didn"t just drop by to talk about the old days on Peach Street."

"Pyme Street," she corrected. "I may be in trouble. I may need help."

"People who come here usually do." Something told me not to shove her out the door yet. I looked her over again. That was no ch.o.r.e.

She wasn"t a flashy dresser. Her clothes were conservative but costly, tailored with an eye to wear. That implied money but didn"t guarantee it. In my part of town some people wear their whole estate. "Tell me about it."

"Our place burned when I was twelve." That should have rung a bell, but didn"t till later. "My parents were killed. I tried staying with an uncle. We didn"t get along. I ran away. The streets aren"t kind to a girl without a family."

They aren"t. That would be when the iceberg formed. Nothing would touch her, or get close to her, or hurt her, ever again. But what did yesterday have to do with why she was here today?

People come to me because they feel disaster breathing down their necks. Maybe just getting through the door makes them feel safe. Maybe they don"t want to go back out again. Whatever the reason, they stall, talking about anything but what"s bothering them. "I imagine."

"I was lucky. I had looks and half a brain. I used them to make connections. Things worked out. These days I"m an actress."

That could mean anything or nothing, a catchall behind which women pursue uncomfortable ways of keeping body and soul together.

I grunted encouragement. Garrett is nothing if not encouraging.

Dean peeked in to make sure I hadn"t gone rabid. I tapped my mug. "More lunch." It looked like a long siege.

"I"ve made some important friends, Mr. Garrett. They like me because I know how to listen and I know how to keep my mouth shut."

I had a notion she was the kind of actress who gives the same service as a street girl but gets paid better because she smiles and sighs while she"s working.

We do what we have to do. I know some good people in that line. Not many, but some. There aren"t that many good people in any line.

Dean brought my beer and a whistle-wetter for my guest. He"d been eavesdropping and had begun to suspect he"d made a mistake. She turned on the heat when she thanked him. He went out glowing. I took a drink and said, "So what are we sneaking up on here?"

The glaciers reformed behind her eyes. "One of my friends left me with something for safekeeping. It was a small casket." She made hand gestures indicating a box a foot deep, as wide, and eighteen inches long. "I have no idea what"s in it. I don"t want to know. Now he"s disappeared. And since I"ve had that casket there have been three attempts to break into my apartment." Bam. Like a candle snuffed, she stopped. She had said something she shouldn"t have. She had to think before she went on.

I smelted a herd of rats. "Got any idea what you want?"

"Someone is watching me. I want it stopped. I don"t have to put up with that kind of thing anymore." There was some pa.s.sion there, some heat, but all for some other guy.

"Then you think it could happen again. You think somebody"s after that casket? Or could they be after you?"

What she thought was that she shouldn"t have mentioned the casket. She ran it around inside her head before she said, "Either one."

"And you want me to stop it?"

She gave me a regal nod. The snow queen was back in charge. "Do you know what it"s like to come home and find out that someone"s been tearing through your stuff?"

A minute ago they were just trying to get in.

"A little like you"ve been raped, only it doesn"t hurt as much when you sit down," I replied. "Give me a retainer. Tell me where you live. I"ll see what I can do."

She handed me a small coin purse while she told me how to find her place. It was only six blocks away. I looked in the purse. I don"t think my eyes bugged, but she had that little smile on again when I looked up.

She"d decided she could run me around like a trained mutt.

She got up. "Thank you." She headed for the front door. I got up and stumbled over myself trying to get there to see her out, but Dean had been lying in ambush to make sure he got the honors. I left him to them.

2.

Dean shut the door. He faced it for a moment before he turned to face me, wearing a foolish look.

I asked, "You fall in love? At your age?" He knew I wasn"t looking for clients. He was supposed to discourage them at the door. And this sweet ice with the tall tales and long legs and nonsense problem and sack of gold that was ten times what a retainer ought to be looked like a client I especially didn"t want. "That one is trouble on the hoof."

"I"m sorry, Mr. Garrett." He gave me feeble excuses that only proved a man is never too old.

"Dean, go to Mr. Pigotta"s. Tell him he"s invited to supper. You"ll be fixing his favorites if he gets balky." Pokey Pigotta never turned down a free meal in his life. I gave Dean my best glower, which struck him like rain off a turtle.

You just can"t get good help.

I retired to my desk to think.

Life was good.

I"d had a couple of rough ones recently and I"d not only gotten out alive, but also managed to turn a fat profit. I didn"t owe anybody. I didn"t need to work. I"ve always thought it sensible not to work if you"re not hungry. You don"t see wild animals working when they"re not hungry, so why not just fiddle around and put away a few beers and worry about getting ready for winter when winter comes?

My trouble was that word was out that Garrett could handle the tough ones. Lately every fool with an imaginary twitch has been knocking on my door. And when they look like Jill Craight and know how to turn on the heat, they have no trouble getting past my first line of defense. My second line is more feeble than my first. That"s me. And I"m a born sucker.

I"ve been poor and I"ve been poorer, and the practical side of me has learned one truth: money runs out. No matter how well I did yesterday, the money will run out tomorrow.

What do you do when you don"t want to work and you don"t want to go hungry? When you were born you didn"t have the sense to pick rich parents.

Some guys become priests.

Me, I"m trying to get into subcontracting, the wave of the future.

When they get past Dean and they fish me with their tales of woe, I figure I ought to be able to give the work to somebody else and sc.r.a.pe twenty percent off the top. That should keep the wolf away for a while, save me exercise, and put some money in the hands of my friends.

For tail and trace jobs I could call on Pokey Pigotta. He"s good at that. For bodyguard stuff there was Saucerhead Tharpe, half the size of a mammoth and twice as stubborn. If something hairy turned up I could yell for Morley Dotes. Morley is a bone breaker and lifetaker.

This Craight thing smelled. d.a.m.n it, it reeked! Why give me that business about being a neighbor when she was a kid? Why drop it at the first sign I doubted her? Why back off so fast on the high heat and shift to the ice maiden?

There was one answer I didn"t like at all.

She might be a psycho.

People who get into a fix where they think I"m their only out are unpredictable. Add weird. But when you"ve been at the game awhile you think you get a feel for types.

Jill Craight didn"t fit.

For a second I wondered if that wasn"t because she was an actress who had done her homework and had decided to grab my curiosities with both hands. I can be had that way sometimes.

The clever, cutesy ones are the worst.

I could go two ways here: lie back and forget Jill Craight until I gave her to Pokey, or walk across the hall and consult my live-in charity case.

That woman had given me the jimjams. I was restless. The Dead Man it was, then. After all, he"s a self-proclaimed genius.

They call him the Dead Man. He"s dead, but he"s not a man. He"s a Loghyr, and somebody stuck him with a knife about four hundred years ago. He weighs almost five hundred pounds, and his four-century fast hasn"t helped him lose an ounce.

Loghyr flesh dies as easily as yours or mine, but the Loghyr spirit is more reluctant. It can hang around for a thousand years, hoping for a cure, getting more ill-tempered by the minute. If Loghyr flesh corrupts it may do so faster than granite, but not much.

My dead Loghyr"s hobby is sleeping. He"s so dedicated he"ll do nothing else for months.

He"s supposed to earn his keep by applying his genius to my cases. He does, sometimes, but he has a deeper philosophical aversion to gainful employment than I do. He"ll bust his b.u.t.t to shirk the smallest ch.o.r.e. Sometimes I wonder why I bother.

He was asleep when I dropped in-much to my chagrin, but little to my surprise. He"d been at it for three weeks, taking up the biggest room in the house.

"Hey, Old Bones! Wake up! I need the benefit of your lightning intelligence." The best way to get anything out of him is to appeal to his vanity. But the first task is waking him, and the second is getting him to pay attention.

He wasn"t having any today.

"That"s all right," I told the mountain of cheesy flesh. "I love you despite yourself."

The place was a mess. Dean hates cleaning the Dead Man"s room, and I hadn"t kept after him so he"d let it slide.

If I didn"t watch it the bugs and mice got in. They liked to snack on the Dead Man. He could handle them when he was awake, but he wouldn"t stay awake anymore.

He was ugly enough on his own, without getting eaten.

I puttered around, sweeping and dusting and stomping, singing a medley of bawdy hymns I learned in the Marines. He didn"t wake up, the stubborn hunk of lard.

If he wasn"t going to play, neither was I. I packed it up. I reloaded my mug with beer and went out to the stoop to watch the endless and ever-changing panorama of TunFaire life.

Macunado Street was busy. People and dwarfs and elves hurried to arcane destinations, to clandestine rendezvous. A troll couple strolled past, kids so infatuated they had eyes for nothing but one another"s warts and carbuncles. Ogres and leprechauns hastened to a.s.signations. More dwarfs scurried by, dependably industrious. A fairy messenger more beautiful than my recent visitor cussed like a sailor as she battled a stubborn head wind. A brownie youth gang, chukos, way off their turf, played whistle past the graveyard, probably praying the local Travelers would not come out. A giant, obviously an up-country rube, gawked at everything. He had fantastic peripheral vision. He almost batted the head off a pixie who tried to pick his pocket.