And then, she vanished into the brush and I watched her light disappear as she blurred and was gone from sight.

"I don"t know what to think. First, we have the war between the vampires and the Vampiric Fae, and now, another battle-this one between Lainule and Myst. And I"m caught in the center of the vortex. The Indigo Court is my enemy twice over and I don"t even know what we"re fighting about other than to keep them from destroying everything they touch."

Leo, Rhiannon, and Kaylin sat in the living room with me. I looked up, confused and in pain. Lannan"s bite ached on my neck, and my forehead felt hot. I was embarra.s.sed about my reaction to him but my body kept prodding me, reminding me that while I"d o.r.g.a.s.med several times, my body still longed for actual touch and connection with someone to whom I could give my whole self-body and and mind. mind.

"At least we know the Queen of Rivers and Rushes is alive. And if she"s on our side-so much the better." Rhiannon glanced at the clock. "Anadey wants me over there at dawn again-she"s got me on a training schedule so that I meet with her before work every day for the next few weeks. While that won"t be enough time for me to learn how to use the fire properly, she said by the end of this week I should be able to control it without a problem-to pull it back and prevent the accidental breakthroughs."

"If only your mother had trained you during your childhood. This wouldn"t have happened." Leo frowned. "Heather seems so levelheaded . . . seemed . . ." His voice drifted off and he blushed. "I"m sorry, I shouldn"t bring her up right now."

Rhiannon shrugged, her eyes sparkling with tears. "I have to accept what"s happened. And Marta would have kicked Heather out of the Society. By the way, I heard through the grapevine today that all remaining members of the Society besides Tyne, Marta"s grandson, have skipped town. Vanished." Rhiannon shrugged. "They"re smart. I"m half tempted to do so myself, now that Heather"s lost to me."

"We can"t. We can"t let the town fall to Myst-she"ll just spread her horrors to the next town, and the next. And besides, we have to rescue Peyton."

Kaylin patted me on the shoulder. "We"ll think of something. I created a few offensive charms today, and I"ve also rigged more than one Molotov c.o.c.ktail. If we have to, we"ll burn our way in and take her by force. We can do a lot of damage with fire to the Indigo Court."

Suddenly feeling wiped, I slumped back in my chair. "Sounds good to me. We should just burn the whole d.a.m.ned forest down. Make sure my owl pal is out of there and light the match. Okay, I"m going to bed. Rhia, I"ll call you at work tomorrow to see what"s going down. Leo-don"t you tell the vampires about my little to the docks tonight."

He shrugged. "As long as they don"t ask . . ."

"No-do you understand? You just keep quiet about it altogether. I have no desire to see them start up another feud. Not on my account."

I pushed myself out of bed and headed for the stairs, turning to shake my head. "And life just goes on as normal. People are shopping, going to work, as if nothing is happening-but we"ve got dead and missing everywhere. You"d think somebody would say something."

Kaylin stood and stretched. "Oh, the townsfolk know something"s up, but they don"t want to be next. Old superst.i.tion: Talk about something, you bring it too close. And not always a superst.i.tion. Good night, Cicely. Sleep well."

I trudged up the stairs. As I entered my room and stripped off my clothes, a sound at my window startled me and I turned. Grieve was waiting outside. I pushed up the sash and nodded him in, too weary to do anything else.

"How can you get past the wards when your charming family can"t?" I stared at him for a long moment. "And when the f.u.c.k were you going to tell me what they"d done to Heather?"

Grieve hung his head. "It only happened yesterday. I had no idea they"d send her to you before I could get here to warn you."

"f.u.c.k you, too." I turned to him. "And you-what"s your part in this? To convince me to leave well enough alone? To turn me and make me one of Myst"s slaves like Heather? Apparently your adoptive kin seems to think a war"s brewing. According to them, I"m not supposed to interfere."

Grieve started to move closer; he suddenly froze. "Who have you been with? You"ve been . . . Were you f.u.c.king somebody? Somebody . . . dead dead?" He was suddenly beside me, holding me by the shoulders. "Have you been with a vampire vampire?"

I tore away from him, too angry to be afraid. "No-I didn"t let a vampire f.u.c.k f.u.c.k me, but I let one me, but I let one drink drink from me. It"s in my contract. Your spies seem to know everything about me, so you might as well, too." from me. It"s in my contract. Your spies seem to know everything about me, so you might as well, too."

"What do you mean?" He looked stricken and let go of me. "I"m sorry, I shouldn"t have shaken you like that."

"You d.a.m.ned well better apologize. Here"s the deal: I"ve been forced into working for the Crimson Court. Because I know you. Because I know you. As a side bonus, they were going to help us get Heather back, which is more than I can say you offered. To gain their a.s.sistance, I had to agree to a monthly blood donation. But now, my sacrifice is useless-at least as far as Heather"s concerned." As a side bonus, they were going to help us get Heather back, which is more than I can say you offered. To gain their a.s.sistance, I had to agree to a monthly blood donation. But now, my sacrifice is useless-at least as far as Heather"s concerned."

"Cicely . . ." He lifted his head, wincing. "I"m so sorry . . ."

I waved away his words, no longer caring if I hurt his feelings. He could have stopped them, somehow saved Heather if he"d really wanted to. I truly believed it, despite what Lainule had said.

"Sorry doesn"t mend fences or bring people back from the living dead. No, your people have turned her, and there"s no chance to save her. She"s gone to us-her life and everything she stood for wiped out in the blink of an eye. We"ve lost her and the best we can hope for is a b.l.o.o.d.y staking and putting her soul to rest. But maybe I"ll luck out. Maybe my contract isn"t all in vain. Peyton is still out there and we"re going to rescue her, come h.e.l.l or high water."

"So, you really are working for the Crimson Court?"

As he stared at me incredulously, I snorted. "Did you not hear what I said? And so what? You You are aligned with the are aligned with the Indigo Court Indigo Court. Thrust and parry, my love. Thrust and parry. We"re both pledged into the arms of h.e.l.l, now."

He gave me a sideways glance. "Who was it? Who drank from you?"

I realized that-Fae or not-he was playing the testosterone card. I"d had enough of tiptoeing around.

"Fine. You want to know? I"ll tell you. Lannan Altos, a professor at the conservatory. And yeah, he drank my blood, he made me beg him, and he made me come so hard I about lost consciousness when his fangs. .h.i.t my neck. He thoroughly enjoyed himself and even though I tried to block him out, I came over and over again."

"I don"t want to know this-"

"You asked! Once a month, I owe him a cup of my lifeblood, or however much he seems to want. Maybe I should just forfeit my life over to them for good now and get it over with. You should know what it"s like to work for unyielding despots." Once a month, I owe him a cup of my lifeblood, or however much he seems to want. Maybe I should just forfeit my life over to them for good now and get it over with. You should know what it"s like to work for unyielding despots."

I expected him to walk out the door, to jump out the window and be gone. But Grieve just dropped to the bed.

"I never thought you"d go to that length to get them back," he whispered.

"Just what did did you think? That we"d let your newfound family tear them to shreds without putting up a fight? Bleed them out, rip them to pieces? Rhiannon and I are cousins. Heather"s my aunt-or was. Now she"s Dead Woman Walking and guess what? It"s tearing us apart. Do you know what happened when Heather came here? Rhiannon tried to fry her own mother." you think? That we"d let your newfound family tear them to shreds without putting up a fight? Bleed them out, rip them to pieces? Rhiannon and I are cousins. Heather"s my aunt-or was. Now she"s Dead Woman Walking and guess what? It"s tearing us apart. Do you know what happened when Heather came here? Rhiannon tried to fry her own mother."

At his startled look, I moved in closer.

"Yeah, that"s right. I said she tried to fry her-tried to burn Heather to ashes. Her mother"s a vampire, a slave to a s.a.d.i.s.tic queen. Heather"s magic is a weapon of the Court now. So Rhiannon tried to kill her."

Grieve dropped his head to his hands and his shoulders started to shake. I stared at him, shocked into silence. He was crying, and they weren"t crocodile tears. I knelt beside him, tipped his chin up, looked him square in the face.

"I was coming to tell you tonight about Heather. I was so afraid you"d tell me to leave, that you would never want to see me again."

The tears streaked his face, winding in rivulets down his cheeks. He was so alien, and yet so familiar to me. I knew him, knew him from the inside out. I was wondering when to tell him about discovering the truth about myself when I flashed . . .

We were sitting together on the top of a hill, and he was holding my hand. Only he wasn"t Grieve, and I wasn"t Cicely, but we were there, together, staring at a b.l.o.o.d.y pile of bodies that surrounded us.

"My love, we"re doomed. You know that, don"t you?"

And I-and yet it was not me-nodded. "They"ll be here any minute. This time, they"ll never let us go. What are we going to do?"

He held up a bottle. "We can escape to the future with this. We drink this together and we"ll be bound to return, to find one another again in a different time. And with the grace of the G.o.ds, we won"t be torn apart by our families, by our cultures."

He stroked my long hair back, shaking his head. "I love you more than life itself," he whispered. "They"re going to kill us, you know that. They"re going to torture us, tear us to shreds."

I nodded. They were coming for our heads, and there was no place left to run. I took the bottle, recognizing the potion within. We"d die, yes, but it would set in motion a future for us to return, to find each other again, to finish what we"d started in this life.

"We"ve left a trail of carnage, that"s for sure. Your people can"t stand my shadows," I said.

"And your people can"t stand my light. My sweet Cherish. My sweet Cherish. Please-don"t let them part us. Who knows if we"ll find each other in the Land of the Silver Falls? This will bind us to the Wheel and we will return, together." Please-don"t let them part us. Who knows if we"ll find each other in the Land of the Silver Falls? This will bind us to the Wheel and we will return, together."

I popped the top on the bottle. "Remember me, Shy. Remember me, and come find me. If I choose to return to this world, then I must have your promise that you"ll look for me."

He placed his hand over mine as I held the bottle to my lips. "I promise to you, Cherish, by my blood and my heart, I will search for you with my dying breath."

I tipped the bottle. Drank half the potion and handed it to him. He downed the rest, and we curled up, holding one another, listening to the distant shouts of those hunting us. They"d find us, all right, but we"d be out of their touch. We"d be off into the future.

And we"d find each other again, one way or another.

Shaking, I sat back and stared at him. "We were together . . . before. I thought we might have been."

"Cicely . . ." Grieve gathered me into his arms, the tears flowing freely now. "I told you that I"ve been waiting for you. And now you"ve remembered, and we can truly be together again. I love you. I"ve loved you for lifetimes. And now, here we are and I won"t let you slip away this time."

Together, yes, but once more, on opposite sides. Working for bitter enemies, pledged to ruthless factions out for each other"s blood. But all of it washed away as he sought my lips, kissing me deep. He washed away the feel of Lannan"s hands on me. Grieve slid his lips against mine, against my throat, licking at the marks that Lannan had left, leaving his own scent, his own claim. I tugged at his shirt and within seconds, he was as naked as I was.

I wanted him, needed him to cleanse me of the memory of Lannan"s touch. I ran my tongue down his stomach, down his thigh, around him as he grew thick and hungry. Grieve moaned and pulled me up to face him. He slid me onto his lap and I knelt, straddling him. He tucked one arm around my waist, the other under my b.u.t.t, holding me, keeping me balanced, and as we rocked, rhythmically, I lost myself in the reflection of his eyes. And as we rode the dark wave, I forgot about vampires and wars and humiliation, and remembered what love was.

Chapter 22.

After, Grieve took me in his arms and the swirl of stars in the black globes of his eyes made me dizzy. "I know you flew last night. I know you found out what you are. I couldn"t tell you-I had to let you find out on your own."

Feeling slightly feverish, I leaned my head against his shoulder. "I wouldn"t have believed you if you did. What do we do now, Grieve? Myst controls you and I work for her enemies. And now, she"s got Heather-a very powerful witch-and who knows how many others of the magic-born that she"s turned?" Lainule"s warning hung heavy in my heart and though I wanted to tell him-wanted to a.s.sure him she was okay, I kept my mouth shut.

"I"ll help you get Peyton back. I"ll think of something . . . there has to be a way." He slid back into his clothing.

"How? We have to act fast-if they try to turn her, her half-breed blood may just very well kill her for good."

Grieve frowned, thinking. "We"ll create a diversion so that I-or Chatter-can sneak her out. There has to be something to capture Myst"s attention enough to rally most of her guards."

"Burn the forest. We start a fire. That should rout enough of them." I pulled on my nightgown and bathrobe. All I wanted to do was sleep-sleep off the s.e.x, the bloodletting . . . sleep off everything.

"You can"t burn the forest! You can"t even think of doing something so horrible. The Golden Wood is our home, our land." The look on Grieve"s face took me aback.

I shook my head. "I"ll do whatever it takes, and n.o.body else has to like it. Besides, the snow won"t let it burn, not more than enough to get her notice."

"Wait-give me tonight. I"ll figure out something. Please, don"t do something so rash." He sounded so plaintive that I relented.

"All right, but if you haven"t got a plan by tomorrow, I"m taking a match out there and torching it. Understand? I"ll do whatever I have to in order to save any of their victims who happen to remain alive in the Barrow."

Grieve nodded, then kissed me once more and slid out the window, vanishing into the night. Exhausted, I locked it, replaced the protection charm, and crawled into bed. The wolf on my stomach was rumbling, satisfied, and yet . . . there was something there . . . something odd . . .

Ignoring the slightly queasy feeling I had, I turned out the light and was asleep before my head hit the pillow.

The next morning, Rhiannon was gone to Anadey"s by the time I got up. Kaylin had apparently decided to take up residence because he was still there, and making breakfast at that. Leo had crashed out on the sofa in the living room. I frowned. It was time we got some order into the house.

"Yo, Kaylin, you going to live here or what? If so, let"s get you set up with a room. And why didn"t Leo go to bed last night? He and Rhiannon are sharing her bedroom."

Kaylin flipped the pancakes, then handed me a double-shot latte with a sprinkling of cinnamon. "Yeah, I think I"ll stick around for a while. I have a place to live but you need me. As for Leo, he kept saying he could hear things outside. We"d go check every hour or so, but never saw a thing. I guess he couldn"t sleep."

"Well, Grieve showed up last night in my room. He"s promised to figure out a way to get Peyton out alive." I sipped the steaming liquid, grateful for the faint buzz of caffeine that was already rampaging through my system. I"d heard that it took forty-five minutes for the drug to hit the bloodstream. I didn"t believe it. "d.a.m.n, dude, this is strong."

"All the better to wake you up. So how"s your neck this morning?"

I reached up to finger the area where Lannan had dug into me. The edges felt hot, raw. "Will you take a look? I"ve been queasy ever since I left his office. And not just because of what happened-it"s something else."

As Kaylin gently brushed aside my hair to examine my neck, I winced. My stomach was getting worse. Just then, my wolf rose up, whimpering. A ribbon of fire raced through me, so dry that I felt like I was kindling held to a match. I clutched my stomach. My wolf was sick. Grieve was sick.

"Help me, Kaylin . . . I don"t feel so good." I tried to stand up but my knees buckled and Kaylin caught me. Through the fog that was encompa.s.sing my mind, I heard him yell for Leo to wake, and then the next thing I knew, he was carrying me upstairs. I let out a little moan as he jostled me, turning at the landing. The sound of footsteps behind us penetrated the haze.

"What"s wrong with her?" Leo"s voice echoed through the blackness. I realized my eyes were shut and attempted to force them open.

"I don"t know. She complained about being hot-not feeling good. Look at the wound on her neck. What the f.u.c.k?"

Leo sucked in a hiss and I managed to open my eyes just a crack. "Water. I"m burning up."

Kaylin brushed his hand across my forehead. "She"s hot, but not terribly so. Get her some water. Hurry."

My eyes closed again as Leo"s face disappeared and I reached out, seeking comfort from the one who knew me best.

Ulean, are you here? Help me, please.

I am here, girl. You will be all right. You"re not the one who"s sick.

What do you mean? I feel like I"m dying.

I know, girl. I know, but trust me, you aren"t. Ride it through, the wave will pa.s.s, and I"ll do my best to pull you out of it enough for Leo to help you.

What wave? What are you talking about? Why does my stomach hurt so bad if I"m not sick?

Because, girl . . . Grieve is sick. Terribly sick. You have to ride it out, climb out of the communion in order to help him.

And then, Leo"s hands were behind me, lifting me up so I could drink. The water was cool as it ran down my throat, ice on a burn, and I let out a single cry as my stomach cramped again.

No! Please, no! Out . . . let me out . . . now . . .

The slipstream eased just enough. I saw a chance to break out of the communion and leapt for the opening. There was a ripping sound, a horrible whining as if my wolf had been mangled and then-in the soft blink of an eye-I landed safe inside myself, the connection severed. My stomach ached from the spasms, but the pain began to diminish. The fog was lifting.

With Kaylin"s and Leo"s help, I slowly sat up, trembling. "What the f.u.c.k was that? Something"s happened to Grieve! I know it." I tried to get up, to make it to the door but they stopped me and forced me back onto the bed.

"I need to examine you, Cicely." Leo held up a small kit. "I brought my healer"s case when I got your water. You can"t get out of bed until we know what happened."

"I know know what happened." I tried to shake him off. what happened." I tried to shake him off.

"Grieve is sick and my wolf felt it. I tuned in to him. Let me up."

"Sit still and allow Leo to do what he needs to," Kaylin said, holding me fast. He was stronger than he looked. "Just what are you planning to do? Race out there into the wood to find him? Run right into Myst"s arms?"

Kaylin caught my gaze and I froze. He was right. What the h.e.l.l could I do? Get myself caught? Out Grieve as a traitor? Resigned, I let Leo check me over. He listened to my heart, then took my temperature, and finally, using a cotton swab, he rubbed gently across the puncture wounds on my neck. I stared at the oozing liquid on the cotton.