The Dope on Mars.

by John Michael Sharkey.

_Somebody had to get the human angle on this trip ... but what was humane about sending me?_

Ill.u.s.trated by WOOD

My agent was the one who got me the job of going along to write up the first trip to Mars. He was always getting me things like that--appearances on TV shows, or mentions in writers" magazines. If he didn"t sell much of my stuff, at least he sold _me_.

"It"ll be the biggest break a writer ever got," he told me, two days before blastoff. "Oh, sure there"ll be scientific reports on the trip, but the public doesn"t want them; they want the _human_ slant on things."

"But, Louie," I said weakly, "I"ll probably be locked up for the whole trip. If there are fights or accidents, they won"t tell _me_ about them."

"Nonsense," said Louie, sipping carefully at a paper cup of scalding coffee. "It"ll be just like the public going along vicariously. They"ll _identify_ with you."

"But, Louie," I said, wiping the dampness from my palms on the knees of my trousers as I sat there, "how"ll I go about it? A story? An article?

A _you-are-there_ type of report? What?"

Louie shrugged. "So keep a diary. It"ll be more intimate, like."

"But what if nothing happens?" I insisted hopelessly.

Louie smiled. "So you fake it."

I got up from the chair in his office and stepped to the door. "That"s dishonest," I pointed out.

"Creative is the word," Louie said.

So I went on the first trip to Mars. And I kept a diary. This is it. And it is honest. Honest it is.

_October 1, 1960_

They picked the launching date from the March, 1959, New York _Times_, which stated that this was the most likely time for launching. Trip time is supposed to take 260 days (that"s one way), so we"re aimed toward where Mars will be (had _better_ be, or else).

There are five of us on board. A pilot, co-pilot, navigator and biochemist. And, of course, me. I"ve met all but the pilot (he"s very busy today), and they seem friendly enough.

Dwight Kroger, the biochemist, is rather old to take the "rigors of the journey," as he puts it, but the government had a choice between sending a green scientist who could stand the trip or an accomplished man who would probably not survive, so they picked Kroger. We"ve blasted off, though, and he"s still with us. He looks a d.a.m.n sight better than I feel. He"s kind of balding, and very iron-gray-haired and skinny, but his skin is tan as an Indian"s, and right now he"s telling jokes in the washroom with the co-pilot.

Jones (that"s the co-pilot; I didn"t quite catch his first name) is scarlet-faced, barrel-chested and gives the general appearance of belonging under the spreading chestnut tree, not in a metal bullet flinging itself out into airless s.p.a.ce. Come to think of it, who _does_ belong where we are?

The navigator"s name is Lloyd Streeter, but I haven"t seen his face yet.

He has a little cubicle behind the pilot"s compartment, with all kinds of maps and rulers and things. He keeps bent low over a welded-to-the-wall (they call it the bulkhead, for some reason or other) table, scratching away with a ballpoint pen on the maps, and now and then calling numbers over a microphone to the pilot. His hair is red and curly, and he looks as though he"d be tall if he ever gets to stand up. There are freckles on the backs of his hands, so I think he"s probably got them on his face, too. So far, all he"s said is, "Scram, I"m busy."

Kroger tells me that the pilot"s name is Patrick Desmond, but that I can call him Pat when I get to know him better. So far, he"s still Captain Desmond to me. I haven"t the vaguest idea what he looks like. He was already on board when I got here, with my typewriter and ream of paper, so we didn"t meet.

My compartment is small but clean. I mean clean now. It wasn"t during blastoff. The inertial gravities didn"t bother me so much as the gyroscopic spin they put on the ship so we have a sort of artificial gravity to hold us against the curved floor. It"s that constant whirly feeling that gets me. I get sick on merry-go-rounds, too.

They"re having pork for dinner today. Not me.

_October 2, 1960_

Feeling much better today. Kroger gave me a box of Dramamine pills. He says they"ll help my stomach. So far, so good.

Lloyd came by, also. "You play chess?" he asked.

"A little," I admitted.

"How about a game sometime?"

"Sure," I said. "Do you have a board?"

He didn"t.

Lloyd went away then, but the interview wasn"t wasted. I learned that he _is_ tall and _does_ have a freckled face. Maybe we can build a chessboard. With my paper and his ballpoint pen and ruler, it should be easy. Don"t know what we"ll use for pieces, though.

Jones (I still haven"t learned his first name) has been up with the pilot all day. He pa.s.sed my room on the way to the galley (the kitchen) for a cup of dark brown coffee (they like it thick) and told me that we were almost past the Moon. I asked to look, but he said not yet; the instrument panel is Top Secret. They"d have to cover it so I could look out the viewing screen, and they still need it for steering or something.

I still haven"t met the pilot.

_October 3, 1960_

Well, I"ve met the pilot. He is kind of squat, with a vulturish neck and close-set jet-black eyes that make him look rather mean, but he was pleasant enough, and said I could call him Pat. I still don"t know Jones" first name, though Pat spoke to him, and it sounded like Flants.

That can"t be right.

Also, I am one of the first five men in the history of the world to see the opposite side of the Moon, with a bluish blurred crescent beyond it that Pat said was the Earth. The back of the Moon isn"t much different from the front. As to the s.p.a.ce in front of the ship, well, it"s all black with white dots in it, and none of the dots move, except in a circle that Pat says is a "torque" result from the gyroscopic spin we"re in. Actually, he explained to me, the screen is supposed to keep the image of s.p.a.ce locked into place no matter how much we spin. But there"s some kind of a "drag." I told him I hoped it didn"t mean we"d land on Mars upside down. He just stared at me.

I can"t say I was too impressed with that 16 x 19 view of outer s.p.a.ce.

It"s been done much better in the movies. There"s just no awesomeness to it, no sense of depth or immensity. It"s as impressive as a piece of velvet with salt sprinkled on it.

Lloyd and I made a chessboard out of a carton. Right now we"re using b.u.t.tons for men. He"s one of these fast players who don"t stop and think out their moves. And so far I haven"t won a game.

It looks like a long trip.

_October 4, 1960_

I won a game. Lloyd mistook my queen-b.u.t.ton for my bishop-b.u.t.ton and left his king in jeopardy, and I checkmated him next move. He said chess was a waste of time and he had important work to do and he went away.

I went to the galley for coffee and had a talk about moss with Kroger.