The Lone Star In My Constellation

Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1: A Promise (Part 1)

Love isn’t a feeling. It’s a promise. It’s a promise to cherish and to trust each other. But a broken promise pushed us apart. A broken promise that was as sacred as any other. A promise not only to love, but also to live…

Li Ming Xing stared at the departing flights with a strange heaviness in her heart. A heaviness that’s been in her heart since almost ten years.

These ten years have changed her a lot. Her flowing black hair has been trimmed and she’s ditched her comfort clothes in favour of a more professional look.

But in reality, this was just a preparation for the first day of her new job as a news anchor in the company she’s newly joined. Ming Xing is finally shifting back to China from South Korea, after ten years.

She fondly remembered her days in China, her University. And her heart still lurched when she thought of him. Only, what she felt was a paradoxical bitter-sweetness at her memories with him.

His sharp and angular features, his handsome face with those cold black eyes. His deep and masculine voice. His Alpha-Male body language.

She still remembered him. All of him.

After all, Han Xue Zhao isn’t any ordinary man. And she’s just a small star in his huge constellation.

As she sat on the comfortable sofa in the departure lounge of the Airport, she reminisced about her old student days and smiled to herself. Dragging herself out of her reverie, she took out her laptop and started working on completing her next article.

Li Ming Xing has majored in Creative Writing and Broadcast Journalism from P University of China, which is the country’s top University. Coming from such a top Varsity, her journey in the field of Journalism had become a bit easier compared to what others usually went through. She’d worked for one of the top Media Companies of South Korea, first as a field reporter in War Correspondence and then as a lifestyle news presenter.

Now, as a successful journalist, she’s returning to China, her motherland and also the country which has many memories for her.

“Ming Xing!”

She looked up, surprised to see Mo Wen Ru smiling down at her. Smiling, even she got up to give him a hug and kissed him on two cheeks in the European Style.

Mo Wen Ru is a top Chinese News Reader who gained a lot of female fans mainly for his looks. Of course, he’s talented, but his looks gave him a major boost in the industry.

“Ming Xing, long time no see!” he said, smiling at her. She smiled back at him faintly.

She and Mo Wen Ru had dated a few years ago. Then they’d broken up with each other.

“Long time no see!” she agreed, softly.

“It is as though all the stars in my life had disappeared after you left, Ming Xing!” he complained, still holding her close.

She grew uncomfortable when he used her name as a metaphor, and tried to pull away from him. She sat down on the sofa again, and he occupied the sofa right opposite to her.

There were a few minutes of awkward silence, before he broke it and said, “We could have made it work, you know!”

She looked up at him, surprised and confused. “What?”

“Our relationship, we could have made it work,” he elaborated. “If only you would have quit working.”

“You could have quit working too!” she pointed out, quietly.

“I’m a man! How can I not work?!” he asked her, incredulously.

At that very moment, an announcement for the boarding of her flight came. She started packing her things and got up.
She saw the departing flights, shook her head and smiled faintly, before turning back to him and saying, “You’re still the same man who I dumped all those years ago, Mo Wen Ru. You haven’t changed at all!”

His face turned red from shame, as she turned and walked away gracefully to the Boarding Gate.

Ming Xing was waiting for her baggage to arrive in the Baggage Collecting Area of the Airport. The Conveyor Belt brought out various bags, but none of them were hers.

Finally, she’s on Chinese land. And she felt weird that she’s back after such a long gap. The first thing that she’d done when she’d stepped down the flight was take a deep breath.

She knew that technically there’s no difference in the scent of air in China and abroad. But somehow, Chinese air smelled more like home to her. I’m back! She thought to herself.

When she saw her suitcases approaching her on the Conveyor Belt, she was filled with dread. They were all huge and very heavy. She’d brought most of her things along with her from Seoul. Back in the Incheon Airport, she’d handled the baggage with the help of a Paid Porter. But now, there’s no facility like that.

As a result, she had to wait for the Conveyor Belt to do a few more rounds to get all of her baggage as she was unsuccessful in many of her attempts to get all her baggage down. As she stood there waiting for the last bag to come to her, she knew that her sore shoulders won’t be able to handle that one as it’s the most heaviest of them all.

Suddenly, a very masculine scent filled her nostrils and she saw that a well-built man had bent cross to lift her bag for her. She almost cried tears of grat.i.tude. So, it was with shining eyes that she faced the man who placed the bag in her trolleys. And when she saw his face, her face turned pale.

“Ming Xing, you fill my world with light…”

“Ming Xing, if I’m a constellation, then you’re my only star…”

His words, they’d tugged at her heart and made her surrender it to him ten years ago. These words were the very reason why she’d never gotten over him no matter how hard she’d tried.

Han Xue Zhao didn’t even spare her a glance as he left without looking back. He was joined by a few other men in business suits.

She slid down on her knees, and tried to control her simpering emotions which were at war with each other.

She couldn’t believe her fate. She’s barely been an hour in China and she already got to meet him. She didn’t know how their first meeting after returning to China would be. She thought that he would probably be hostile towards her or at least say something.

But she didn’t expect his total indifference towards her, as if he didn’t care whether still existed or not.

Truly, ten years can change anyone. Even people whom you least expect to change.

 

CHAPTER 1 (Part II): A Promise.

The first time she’d seen Han Xue Zhao, it was in the University Library.

She’d come in to borrow ‘The Dream of a Red Chamber’ and was searching for it in the many bookshelves. Then, after she found it, she found it looking too dusty. So, immediately she changed her mind.

Actually, she loved to read tragic stories as she hated the very idea of love. For some reason, she found love stories boring and loved reading more realistic stuff like tragic stories as most of the love stories end up in the path of tragedy in real life.

And as she’s a very pragmatic person, she didn’t believe in wasting her time on things like love.

After all, how many relationships did love manage to salvage? Her own parents are a living example of that. The love is still there, but it isn’t enough to sustain them together.

She started browsing through the bookshelves again, and then came across ‘7 Habits of Highly Influential People’ by Stephen R. Covey. Now, this is one of those books which she loves to read. She reads what’s beneficial to her future and nothing else.

She laid her hand on the book and tried to pull it out. But it wasn’t budging. It’s as though there’s a magnetic force pulling it backwards. Ming Xing remembered what she’d learned so many years ago in School: Newton’s Third Law states that for every action there’s an equal and an opposite reaction.

Never thought that I’ll have to apply it hear, la!

So, she decided to pull it with a greater force. Unfortunately, the magnetic force which was holding the book back didn’t act this time and the result is that she fell hard on the dusty floor with the book in her hands.

“Ouch!” she muttered to herself, and rubbed her sore back.

“Are you alright?” asked a deep voice. She was shocked that there’s a witness to her embarra.s.sing situation and turned to look at the source of the voice.

He was tall and was well-built. He had a slightly tanned face and his hair was ruffled. He extended his hand to help her up, and she took it. His hand was warm and callused.

“Thank you!” she mumbled, feeling embarra.s.sed.

“No, it was my fault! I was the one who was trying to pull the book from the other side of the bookshelf. I’m sorry!” he said. She could definitely see the slight amus.e.m.e.nt in his eyes.

So, he’s the culprit magnetic force ah! And to blame Newton for her tragedy… I’m sorry, Sir Newton! Rest In Peace…

“It’s alright!” she said, magnanimously, and started walking away.

But then, she stopped and turned back. “When can we meet again?” she asked him.

He was surprised, because he’d already gone back to browsing the bookshelves. He turned and asked her, “Why?”

“Don’t you want to read the book?” she asked him.

“Yes, I do. But…”

“Okay, then. I’ll tell the librarian, Madam Qin, to keep the book aside for you after I return it back to her, so that you’ll be the only one who’ll read it after me!” she said, feeling very generous.

She started walking away, when his deep voice stopped her. “What’s your name?”

This time it was she who’s caught surprised. So she blurted, “Ming Xing… Li Ming Xing of the Broadcast Journalism Faculty.”

He smiled slowly, as he said, “I’m Xue Zhao. Han Xue Zhao of the Computer Science Faculty.”

That deep voice of his — for some reason, she felt that she could never forget it. And true enough, she never did. That voice haunted her in her sleep. That voice caused her to become restless.

And now, when she didn’t hear that voice even after meeting him, she felt her heart ache like it never did before.

Han Xue Zhao had chosen to inflict the worst punishment on her — indifference.

Li Ming Xing was looking at the face staring back at her from the mirror of her new place of residence, a huge serviced apartment in a very expensive area of the city.

The young woman in the mirror has sleek and short black hair. Her features aren’t sharp, but are still good enough for a second glance. Her dark black eyes are filled with a manic energy and it seemed as if once that energy gets extinguished she’ll become lifeless.
This was definitely not the Li Ming Xing of ten years ago, who had bright eyes which pa.s.sed on warmth to everyone who sought solace in her. More than that, the talkative girl of yore has disappeared, leaving behind a pale facsimile of the yesteryears.

The exuberance and activeness that one finds in most of her videos is absent in the real-world Li Ming Xing. And this has surprised all of her new colleagues in her new workplace, XX Media House, which is a State-run company. She maintained a cool distance from her co-workers and chose to remain in her own personal s.p.a.ce, avoiding any attempts of getting close with any of them.

As a result, though many of them admired her professionally, they didn’t have personal feelings of friendship towards her.

And also, there was no one she really knew in China any longer. So, she was more alone than ever before. More than that, she felt like a stranger in her own homeland.

But no person can remain an island for long. And when Wei Xiao Xi came searching for her, she knew it was time to reconnect with her old friends from the University.

When she was working in her office, there was a knock on the door. “Come in,” she’d called out.

The door opened and a willowy girl with long black hair and soft brown eyes had stepped in. Ming Xing’s heart skipped a beat as she slowly stood up.

“Xiao… Xiao Xi?” she whispered, shocked.

“h.e.l.lo, Ming Xing!” said the girl, coolly. But her lips were trembling and tears welled up in her eyes. Then she flung herself into Ming Xing’s arms as she cried, “You’re back! You’re really back!”

Ming Xing laughed and cried at the same time, as she nodded and softly a.s.sured her, “Yes, dummy! I’m back!”

When they finally calmed down their emotions and sat down, Ming Xing carefully observed Xiao Xi the same way an elder sister would look at her errant younger sister.

Xiao Xi’s still the same as she was in the University. Her long black hair and soft brown eyes are intact. And more, she’s abandoned the ugly huge gla.s.ses which she used to wear in favour of contact lenses. Happiness and contentment radiated off from her.

They’d both been like sworn sisters. And Xiao Xi was the only one who put up with Ming Xing’s incessant chatter without much complaint. When Ming Xing had left the night of their Graduation Ceremony without informing anybody, she’d been devastated.

And now, almost ten years later, in the office’s cafeteria, they were both the only people sitting on their table. Ming Xing was sipping c.o.ke and was eating noodles, while Xiao Xi was digging into her huge meal which Ming Xing had brought for her.

“How did you find me here?” asked Ming Xing.

“It won’t take a genius to figure out where you’re working when you appear on my T.V. Set twice every week, you know!” replied Xiao Xi, matter-of-factly.

Ming Xing couldn’t help but laugh. Xiao Xi is still her old cheeky self!

“So, what’s up?” asked Ming Xing, smiling.

“I’m getting married!” declared Xiao Xi.

“Wow! When? Where? How?” demanded Ming Xing.

“Calm down, dude! So you can be a girl!”

“Of course! I am a girl!” protested Ming Xing.

Xiao Xi shook her head, smiling. “Well, it’s Liu Jin. We’ve both been dating since University. We did hit rough patches a few times, but it was only temporary and the journey till here was relatively smooth. So when he proposed, I knew that he’s the one!”

“Are you happy?” asked Ming Xing, smiling in happiness for her friend.

Xiao Xi nodded her head. “I don’t think I could be happier than this in my entire lifetime!”

“Then I’m happy for you, Ah Xi!” she said, softly. She could feel tears of happiness burning in the back of her eyes.

Xiao Xi took out a simple white and gold card. “This is the invitation.”

Taking it, Ming Xing nodded approvingly. “It’s beautiful.”

“Are you really doing well, Ming Xing?” asked Xiao Xi, her eyes filled with concern.

Ming Xing laughed unconvincingly. “I don’t think I can do better than this!”

Xiao Xi, though, wasn’t laughing. She was staring intensely at her. “You know, I’ve noticed it long back but never told you before. You’ve almost stopped talking now. You used to be so animated that your liveliness used to put mine to shame. But now, I see flickers of your old liveliness only when you’re on-air.”

She struggled to swallow the lump that got stuck in her throat, as she said unconvincingly, “No, I’m really alright!”

“Have you met Han Xue Zhao yet?” she asked.

Ming Xing froze when she heard his name and then shook her head without meeting Xiao Xi’s eyes.

“I expected that. After all, you dumped him and left to Seoul. So I knew that you would never take the initiative to meet him,” said Xiao Xi, resignedly. “But what surprised me the most was the lack of reaction from Xue Zhao when I told him that you’re back.”

Ming Xing was shocked. “You met him?”

Xiao Xi nodded nonchalantly. “We had an alumni meet recently. All of us were present except for you. The next one won’t be for another three months.”

Ming Xing tried to suppress the rising pain in her heart. She didn’t know what she was expecting to hear. Maybe she was hoping that he was just acting indifferent in front of her!

“And you surely don’t know this, but actually Xue Zhao’s mother had died the same year you’d left,” told Xiao Xi, not unkindly.

Ming Xing gasped in shock. Aunty Han had been an exceptionally kind and loving person. She felt crushed, but immediately work came to her rescue as she has to go on-air in another thirty minutes.

Ming Xing has the best evening prime-time slot as her show, ‘Open Heart’, became a huge success. The channel invited many prominent personalities and also common people, so that both can share their struggles and views. As this isn’t a live show, Ming Xing herself sat throughout the entire process of editing, and had complete say over how the programme should come out.

The viewers were instantly attracted by the new show, as it was very different to what they’d seen before. They were inspired by the prominent personalities and could connect to the common people. All this made ‘Open Heart’ into a huge success and catapulted Li Ming Xing into fame in China.

Today’s invitee is a young woman who had been abused as a child and then moved on to start a new life. She’d contacted the Creative Team, expressing her willingness to tell her story. As this is a prime-time slot, they’d been hesitant initially. But when Ming Xing had heard the girl’s story, she knew that it had to be heard.

After intense discussions with the Censoring Committee, she decided on a pre-approved script.

As she started the filming of the show with the girl, her heart felt heavy with melancholy. This girl had undergone much more hardship than her and yet found a meaning in life. Whereas she…

The girl’s story moved everyone so much that even after the filming was done, the people on the sets couldn’t stop crying. Today, there was not much to edit as it looked wonderful and touching without editing. So, Ming Xing got ready to watch it being aired.

It was instantly a huge success and the stats showed that ‘Open Heart’ is now trending on Weibo. The ratings broke all records, and the entire team of ‘Open Heart’ began celebrating.

Ming Xing was watching them partying with mixed feelings in her heart. On one level, she felt happy that the girl’s story had been heard at last. On the other level, Ming Xing wondered whether he’s seen this episode and mocked her own weakness which he’d witnessed with his own eyes…

“Ming Xing!” She turned to see that it’s Mo Wen Ru.

They’re both now working in the same news-station, only their time slots are different. Her show has occupied his previous prime-time slot, and the last she heard, his show’s in the danger of getting cancelled.

“Hi!” she said, smiling. She’d decided to put their airport encounter behind her. But when she saw his troubled expression, she frowned. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Ming Xing, my mother’s unwell and needs me right now. But my show’s scheduled to air live in another hour. I can’t afford to leave, but I can’t leave my mother alone either. If you don’t mind, will you take my place as the host?” he entreated her.

Ming Xing was surprised but seldom did she find any reason more compelling than this. “Okay. But… why me?”

“Because I know that whatever our personal differences may be, you’ll never step back when it comes to profession. And I have full trust on you when it comes to that,” he said. “Thank you, Ming Xing! I owe you one.”

She pursed her lips and nodded. “I hope that your mother gets well!”

He thanked her and shuffled out in a hurry. She downed the c.o.ke in her hands and walked over to the studio. When Mo Wen Ru’s Crew saw her coming towards them, they held on to her as if she’s their lifeboat.

They gave her the script and explained that all she has to do is ask the questions written there. The programme is a technical interview of a prominent personality to help the young entrepreneurs to get inspired. The outlay of the programme is good, and that’s why it has secured one of the prime-time slots tonight.

No wonder why Mo Wen Ru didn’t want to leave the show tonight! It’s with great difficulty that he’s managed to secure this prime-time slot.

“Who’s the Guest?” asked Ming Xing.

“Han Xue Zhao.”

All the blood in her face drained, when she heard his name. Her hands trembled and the script paper slipped from her fingers. Him. Again.

 

CHAPTER 1 (Part III): A Promise.

Ming Xing desperately wanted to back out. And yet, she also wanted one more time to see him. Perhaps, it’s fate that’s conniving to make them meet again?

“This is what you need to know about him,” a crew member told her. “He’s graduated from P University with a Major in Computer Science and is also a Business Management Graduate from the same University. Then he started the Han Enterprises and Holdings and went on to become one of the richest men in China and also one of the leading Entrepreneurs. His company is present in almost every field in the Chinese Industry. And he and his friend Liu Jin, who’s the MD (Managing Director), have successfully led the company to become one of the largest private business conglomerates.”
So much has happened, and she didn’t even know. No, to be more precise, she avoided knowing anything about him.

“The Guest has arrived!” a crew-member ran into the Green Room to inform her. “And, by G.o.d, he’s so dreamy!”

Ming Xing smiled wryly. He still has the same effect he has on women that he had ten years ago. Some things never change. “Miss Li, are you ready?” asked a Crew Member.

She nodded hesitatingly, realizing that there’s no chance to back out now, even if she wants to. “Miss Li, there won’t be any break in the airing, and it will be a straight half hour programme. Since this is a technical interview, it’s better to stick to the script,” explained another crew member.

Ming Xing knew that she won’t deviate from the script even if they ask her to, because she didn’t know whether she could handle the script properly or not, now that she knew who she’s going to face. But she had to.

Since the last ten years, she’d separated her traumatic past from affecting her work. And as a thorough professional, it isn’t right for her to get affected like this. She quickly collected herself, and once the make-up man told her that she’s ready, she stepped out of the Green Room.

She’s changed into a sharp charcoal suit and a Pencil skirt, making her look all business. And then she saw him.

He’s talking with a tall and attractive woman. “Cancel the other meeting and postpone the one scheduled for this afternoon. And Serena, tell Liu Jin to meet the sellers in j.a.pan and ask him to settle that matter down with a reasonable price,” he rapidly shot off orders.

The woman, Serena, nodded her head politely. “Yes, sir!”

He’s wearing a gray suit over a white shirt and jeans. His hair, which used to be eternally ruffled, is now unnaturally evenly combed to the side. His black eyes, which used to radiate warmth, are now filled with coldness.

And when he sees her, he appeared equally surprised. “I was expecting Mr. Mo Wen Ru,” he said, his voice cold.

Suddenly all the anger and resentment which she had locked down since the last ten years bubbled up again and threatened to burst. With great difficulty, she managed to keep her tone even, as she said, “Mr. Mo had an emergency. So I’ll be taking his place.”

This is work. And she has no choice but to separate personal feelings from it.

He nodded. A crew member hesitatingly interrupted them, “Miss Li, it’s time.”

Ming Xing nodded and entered the studio. She sat still as the technician installed the clip-on mike on her blouse. “h.e.l.lo… h.e.l.lo… check mike… 1… 2… 3… All right!” she said. Turning to the technician, she asked, “Okay?”

He nodded and told Xue Zhao, “Sir, can you say something into the mike? We need to test it.”

Xue Zhao’s face betrayed no annoyance, as he nonchalantly said, “h.e.l.lo… h.e.l.lo… check mike… 1… 2… 3… All right!”

Her hands unconsciously clinched into a fist when she heard his deep voice echo her words. The crew members, who’d turned silent when they’d heard him speak, hurriedly resumed their last-minute work.

They were left alone near the news-desk for some time and she wasn’t in a mood to start any conversation with him, as all the previous memories of her last days in China drew a fine line between them.

There were a few minutes of awkward silence, before he broke it and asked, “Since how long have you been working here?”

She was startled, and looked around, wondering if maybe he’s talking to someone else. Then she quietly answered, “Since the day I came back.” It was an oblique reference to the day he’d brushed her off in the airport.

“How were your days in South Korea?” he asked her.

“I guess I can call them as fun?” she replied, uncertainly.

“You must have had a lot of fun indeed!” she heard him mutter, a bit sarcastically.

She felt hurt, but ignored the barb. “I heard that Aunty Han has pa.s.sed away. I’m sorry!”

He stiffly nodded. “I’m sorry too!” he said, looking away. “But I started a new life with new people. A life which doesn’t have your shadow.”

She felt as if she’d been struck by a bullet. It hurt. And yet, she couldn’t stop wanting to talk to him. It was as though there’s something that yearns to come off from her heart.

“So, enjoying your life, Mr. CEO?” she tried to joke.

He turned to stare at her closely, making her feel Gooseb.u.mps. “I’m better. And you don’t need to work so hard in trying to be normal around me. Whatever has happened in the University is just history. It was nothing, you know!”

She tried hard to swallow the lump in her throat. She couldn’t believe that he’s relegated them to some dumb college romance heap of trash. More than that, she realized that all her anger and emotions were for nothing because there was nothing really from his side. In short, they beingtogether had no meaning at all.

Again, awkwardness prevailed in the air, and this time it was broken by a crew-member. “Okay, Li, you’ll be live in Ten Seconds.”

And then he began the countdown. Ming Xing usually disliked live shows as they made her uncomfortable. The very thought that every word that she’s speaking is being watched by millions of people at that very time on T.V. sets made her feel queasy.

“… 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… You’re airing!” announced the crew-member.

“Good Evening to…” Ming Xing began her spiel. She begged her old self to return back to her for at least the coming half hour. The heavens are kind to her and granted her request.

As a result, her usual exuberance came out in full force in front of the camera, aided by the fact that even he’s here. Han Xue Zhao seemed stunned to see her so lively again, but the surprise didn’t last even for a second on his handsome face.

So, it was with the same excitement that she turned to face the cold Han Xue Zhao. That liveliness didn’t ebb away even when faced with such lackl.u.s.tre reception, and the entire crew enjoyed the filming of the show for the first time ever.

Mo Wen Ru behaved like a childish boy on the sets. He’s known for his epic tantrums. So when he said that he’s sending another top star-journalist in his place, they’d all groaned expecting the worst. But Li Ming Xing has turned out to become a pleasant surprise. She’s extremely courteous and professional and does more than what is expected of her. And it’s tremendously clear that she loves her job more than anything else.

And Han Xue Zhao… words were not enough to describe his calm efficiency in communicating and his extensive knowledge on all the questions asked. He radiated power and control. And his deep voice and handsome face made almost all the ladies across the country to swoon.

That half hour turned before one could even blink their eyes.

“… This is Li Ming Xing from XX News. Thank you for watching us tonight!” she wrapped up with finesse. She could feel the energy draining from her. And once the cameras stopped rolling she was only a pale imitation of what she was just a few minutes ago.

“Thanks guys!” she smiled weakly at the crew and left the studio.

“I started a new life with new people. A life which doesn’t have your shadow.”

“Whatever has happened in the University is just history. It was nothing.”

She ran into the bathroom attached to her personal office and deposited her lunch in the basin. Sinking down to her knees, she wondered what she should do now.

For ten years, she’s stayed away from him and only returned thinking that she’s ready to face him and all their issues.

A grievous mistake had happened, ten years ago. A mistake which separated two hearts. A mistake that wasn’t really a mistake and rather, an impulse.

A promise had been made, ten years ago. A promise that had been broken. A promise that the maker didn’t even know has broken.

She walked out of the bathroom after collecting herself and faced the wall-size windows of her office.

Looking out at the stars twinkling in the Night’s sky, Li Ming Xing felt that her star has probably never belonged to his constellation.